Thesis issues.

[icarus]

So my thesis proposal is due this Tuesday. This is a proposal that will go to a committee who will decide if my project is worth working on. Then, if accepted, I will be spending the next year on this topic.

I originally wanted to research the history of tantric Buddhism, find the connections between tantric Buddhism and Indian esoteric Buddhism. But my professor wanted me to ask a why question. She said, "Your question is about definitions and the committee doesn't want that."

So I struggled to come up with a "why" question on the subject of a religion where the Buddha, when asked 14 different "why" questions, remained utterly silent. On a subject where "why" is utterly irrelevant. Why? Because you want to get enlightened, because suffering exists and you want it to end, that's why.

I didn't want to ask a "why" question.

So I tried to find something that worked for her (and the committee). The main problem being that although I'm in the International Studies, my subject is really more in the field of Asian Languages and Literature.

I found that I did have access to data on empowerments and initiations, and that no one had studied them. Okay. Maybe I could go there.

But. No one had studied them for good reason. They're secret. I worked up a few sections of the proposal, using that as my source of data, and my qualms started growing other qualms. I justified looking at this information as data because some of it had been made public by Buddhist teachers. I decided I could use that as my guideline as to what could be treated and secret and what couldn't.

Finally, I couldn't ignore those qualms. I had an ethical dilemma.

I spoke to my professor. She didn't see it as an ethical dilemma. Fuck. Every Buddhologist out there calls it an ethical issue. Conze (very famous non-Buddhist Marxist Sanskrit translator) calls it an ethical issue. If you give your word to keep something private, even in an ordinary situation, breaking your word is unethical. THIS IS NOT THE QUESTION I WANTED TO ADDRESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. I didn't yell at her. I don't call myself calm. When people tell me astounding things I tend to just stare at them and wonder, "am I the one wrong here?" But no, no, I'm not.

So we shifted the topic to "secrecy" in tantric Buddhism. And I am so, so, so very bored with this topic. Because this is of no interest to me whatsoever. It is not an important issue in the field of Buddhist studies. It hasn't been studied much that I can tell, but largely because no one cares.

Including me.

How did I get redirected from my initial fascinating historical project on the roots of tantric Buddhism and its transference from India to Tibet, into "Why are Secret Practices Secret"? Although yes, I agree, most of the misunderstanding about tantra comes from its secrecy. Of course it does.

Fine, fine, secrecy. I'll have to cobble together a new theoretical model based on semiotics, memory studies, and -- of all things -- medical studies of how people attempt to describe indescribable experiences like severe pain.

I have to (re)write 25 pages of a topic that I don't care about, that no one in Buddhology cares about, where the two theoretical models that apply to it (not that I have much reading in this area because I was planning to do a history project) pretend that spiritual systems exist only for social reasons and have nothing at the core. Today.

*curses a long blue streak*

I've been avoiding this all week.


ETA: There's one thing I trust about my professor. Her students have consistently brought down the house with their honors theses. They win the prizes every year--to the point where it's been proposed that our program be excluded from the competition because too many from it win. So I know she's right when it comes to what scholars in International Studies want to see.

ETA2: I feel like I've totally failed and that there's no way I can do this. If I tell wildernessguru my issues, he will equate them to his own negative experiences in school (his parents were both teachers and therefore had no perspective when it came to their own kinetic-learning-style kid and totally wrecked his education). He'll just tell me "You're not capable."

ETA3: No, no, no, the musician downstairs may not use today to sing off-key. No.

Comments

[greenling.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Good luck.

It's always annoying when they don't like what you're doing because you're not using the right vocabulary words in the question. I'd probably try to write a "why" paper on why "why" is a stupid question to ask or "why" my question is a really neat one- but then that's probably why you're largely an A student and I'm not. :3

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

Well, hell. How immensely frustrating.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

Could you perhaps do a paper giving your take on *why* tantric Buddhism developed from those roots? Why do you think that this thing and that thing interacted with each other to become this whole new fascinating thing? I'm not an standard academician, but I have had occasion to do historical research papers of this sort before. I don't think you have to change your subject so much as you have to reframe it in the context that they want you to approach it from. Basically what they want from a thesis is for you to develop an opinion about something and then defend it. Hence the emphasis on the "why". You just have to critically analyze the history instead of simply reporting it. Does this help any? *is hopeful*

[twistedrecesses.livejournal.com]

If you go into the project already resenting it...well, I really don't think great things will come about from it.

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

I had a very similar experience on my honours thesis, and was told, in plain text by a professor who was not my advisor to deliver what they want to head and save what i want to study for the post PhD world...

What are your constraints?

[libitina]

I have no idea if this is even true, but is there a chance you could do

Why did doctrines on secrecy change as tantric Buddhism transfered from India to Tibet?

[sarka.livejournal.com]

Agh. I have zero experience in your field of research (I'm in the European part of International Studies) but two things, from your post: What happens when one tries to reframe one's research question into academese and come at the subject from an angle because that's how someone else wants you to do it is almost never pretty.

Two, going in on something you're hardly interested in is not likely to increase your interest in the long run.

Is there any way you can change your research proposal again within the time constraints that you've been given?

Given my limited knowledge of your field of research but having some idea of the discipline as a whole, my suggestions for why questions would be something like; "Why are *definitions-from-one-belief-system* inadequate to explain *practices/whatever-of-other-belief-system*?" or "Why does the *study-of-one-belief-system/definitions* cast light on *other-belief-system*?" or even "Why does the history of *belief-system-1* viewed in combination with *history of belief-system-2* give a better picture of the gradual development of the *belief systems* than a more narrow historical perspective?"

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

You are a bright, passionate individual. If anyone can make such a topic work it will be you. My only concern is that it bores you already. How will you last out the year?

WG is truly clueless, Lord love him. I'm sure he means well, but sadly his "encouragement" seems to be all of the wrong type. I will tell you often how smart and capable you are. It will make ALL the difference.

I know how that goes - keep on keeping on and good luck!

[alfrenne.livejournal.com]

Hiya,

I was in the exact same situation as this except in music, and I just submitted. The initial area of study I proposed and was accepted on suddenly got re-directed and I felt like I had no control. A new advisor came on board; it was all a bit of a nightmare for a while. The thing is, my new topic (which I felt came from the advisors)was smaller and less adventurous but still of interest of me, so I was lucky at least where you seem to be being cheated out of an area you're interested in, which really sucks after your hard work (I was crying in the professor's office - I know the way theses can suck).

The only thing is, maybe you'll find some aspect of this that seems uninteresting now that will open up a new area to you? Or maybe some of the methodologies and whatnot will come in useful if you do get to do the topic you chose initially in further studies, doctoral or conference papers or whatever they might be? That's mostly what I got out of the clusterfuck that was my initial nightmare experience.

I hope they treat you nicely and you get this sorted to as much your level of satisfaction as possible. You clearly know so much about the topic, and it can be so frustrating when someone is seeing your passionate work in cold scientific terms and reducing it to structural plans and missing its essence. Sometimes I've found it's worse when you care passionately about a subject. But hopefully you will come across an area of interest withing the new parameters of your proprosal, or can manipulate the thesis to touch upon some of your original concerns. Best of luck with it!

-Alfrenne.

[ariadne83]

Oh wow, I feel your pain. I had a year to research and write a 10,000 word thesis to complete my honours year. Yeah, I got 6 months in and at my research presentation I had to front up to the whole department and say "Well, I've discovered that there's not enough evidence to address the question on which my entire paper is based. Any ideas on what I can do now, excluding throwing out all the work I've done so far?" Admitting that, and redirecting myself is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. The only thing you can do is trust yourself and keep trying. Good luck!!!

[infiticus.livejournal.com]

How about

"Why, in Budhhism, is 'why' answered with silence"

or

"Why ask 'why' -- An Analysis of the roots of Tantric Buddhism"?

essentially - turn the question INTO the question?

In the end I guess you have to consider the goal and the path. Is the goal worth the pain of the path, or is the journey the true purpose? Which is ... unnecessarily metaphorical of me I suppose but still for me sums it up. :)

Good luck!!!

[nicocoer.livejournal.com]

♥ ?

Also, that your proff didn't get what is a clear cut ethical dilemma blows my mind. I mean. *blink blink* Especially since the application of logic continues to place it there.

Also, if you ever decde to write your original idea, and publish it, I'd buy it. it sounds fascinating. *_*

Good Luck. I think that The suggestion is because people without knowledge of this particular system don't get it but might wish to have an intro when confronted with it when their area of study brushes up against it? idk.

I think you'll pull off something worthwhile, even if it's not what you wanted.

[enname.livejournal.com]

You know, I hate and loathe it when professors exercise their own sense of 'right' and 'wrong' on a topic. I loathe it. Just because they feel that it can't work or won't be what a panel is looking for, doesn't mean that it should be ditched altogether. Working on something that does not interest you is about as bad as something that may not be liked by the international scholars. All I can say is that I am lucky my supervisor lets me do whatever I get into my head, especially how I routinely get very senior academics telling me to stop studying what I am studying because it is too 'esoteric' and 'pointless.'

Why questions are only popular because they mimic the 'scientific method' and give a thin veneer of objective rationality to any paper, locking down academic style and ignoring any other form of dissertation as 'shabby', irrational and pointless. *mutters some very rude things in here about style, pseudo enlightenment rationale and academic format not fitting every thesis*

That is.. weird. Looking at why ethical dilemmas are met with silence is.. no where near what you originally wanted, and I have no idea why your lecturer thought it would be remotely good for you to do. She should have suggested that you try to rework your original interested into a why question. That would be the only thing I can suggest (not doing what I would do and just do what I want without paying any heed to anyone else, perhaps not the best idea) is re posing what you originally wanted to do as a 'why' question, to go with your gut feeling. Surely there must be a reason 'why' you wanted to define these things? Then use that as the question for the thesis. Work backwards from methodology to problematique. Pick a possible interesting connection between the two different strands, or a problem that is answered by writing about the two and redefining them. Or (I am not sure what parameters you are allowed to write in).. you say you are interested in literature side of things... pick several specific texts and set up a why question as to different/individual characteristics.

[elf]

I wanted to reply to this when you posted it, but was at work & couldn't find the link.

Why Have Secrets?; Feri perspective. (Which is not Buddhist perspective, but more similar than any monotheistic this-path-belongs-to-everyone religion gets.)

I have no idea if it'll help any. I'm sorry your professor can't handle the idea of exploring concepts she's not interested in, or from a perspective that doesn't start with her values.