Cat Gets Head Start On Holiday Weight Gain

[icarus]

Cat Gets Head Start On Holiday Weight Gain


The 14-pound "Monte kitty" owned by wildernessguru and icarusancalion of Seattle, WA, edged towards 15 pounds this evening with the advent of icarusancalion's birthday.

"You see," the diminuitive Icarus explains, barely able to hold their enormous Maine Coon. "We got this, um, phallic cake from the Erotic Bakery and we forgot to cover it last night. He usually doesn't like cake."

However, the cake had butternut frosting which apparently has more feline appeal -- at least to Monte.

"We got up the next morning and the cock--" Wilderness Guru begins.

"Honey!" Icarus interrupts, hefting the cat higher.

"Well, that's what it is!" Wilderness Guru says in an exasperated tone. "Anyway, the cock--" He glares at her and she rolls her eyes. "--was knocked over. We didn't figure it out until I cut a slice of cake and put it on the floor next to the TV. I went to get some milk, came back, and there he was, licking it."

The kitty wasn't hungry at breakfast and a closer examination of the cake revealed that it was missing a considerable amount of frosting. They explain that even though it isn't allowed, Monte is frequently up on the table at night. "We've pretty much given up," Wilderness Guru sighs.

"My birthday's right before Thanksgiving which leads right into the holidays." Icarus grins, snuggling their kitty. "It's like an extension of Christmas, and well, I guess Monte's way ahead of us on the holiday weight gain."

So what are they going to do with the cake? Icarus and Wilderness Guru both blush. "It's really good cake," he says.

Comments

[plsteward.livejournal.com]

I'm laughing so hard that there are tears leaking out of my eyes. It's not only because it's such a funny story & hell, cock cake just induses giggles all on it's own. It just reminds me so much of well, almost every holiday I've celebrated from age 6 on up. A total of 3 cats, and now a dog to add to the food disasters... We've never had a holiday where something wasn't gotten into by a pet. There was once a birthday where we just gave up and went out because the stakes were clearly Rainbow's meal (the thrice damned, but much loved creature sat on three of them and was eating the last one with much licking and distainful looks at us.)

[gurrier.livejournal.com]

the cake had butternut frosting

Heee! That seems appropriate!

[mad_maudlin]

My parents' first dog allegedly took an entire ham off the kitchen table and dragged it under their bed to eat it. He was, however, terrified of lamb chops.

Here's hoping Monte's stomach doesn't rebel against all that frosting.

[starrylizard.livejournal.com]

hehehe! Wipes tears from eyes. Continues giggling!

[auburnnothenna.livejournal.com]

It's your birthday? Many joyous returns.

[nufaciel.livejournal.com]

*snickers and dies*

That's so funny!

Happy birthday! :D

[presently.livejournal.com]

Bahahahaha Happy late Birthday, Icarus. Kitties are so silly. xD

[drwf.livejournal.com]

well dont u sound like uhad a great time ...im glad...arent perverted treats fun....Well Happy Birthday sorry a little late....

[winstonmom.livejournal.com]

Forget Monte kitty, I'll pay good money to see a picture of the cake !!!!


PS/ I honestly hope Monte kitty is doing good.

[venivincere]

Happy birthday. Please come write for my local paper. I'd pay you personally. *chortles till sides hurt*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

It's like an extension of Christmas

I'll just BET it is, snigger snigger nudge nudge. ^_^

[libitina]

Hee! Little kitty tongue licking all the frosting off of the cock. :)

I am glad the cake was good even with less frosting. Happy Birthday.

[http://users.livejournal.com/meara_/]

What a great story! I see the cake got the feline seal of approval.

Cock, cake and kitty, what a great birthday combo. Happy birthday!

[stentoriansista.livejournal.com]

::dies laughing::
I'm not sure I can add anything to the hilarity, so I'll just wish you a happy birthday!

[twistedrecesses.livejournal.com]

Lol - high quality entertainment, especially as Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" came onto the iPod as I hit the emphasis on cock.
*snerk*

I should not check LJ in the libraries - I really really shouldn't.
*giggles helplessly*

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

*ggg*

[tigerlilly2063.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Your cat has good taste. ;)

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

*laughs hysterically*

.... ahh, that made my evening.

[nataliadarimini.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's lovely, that is.

What is funnier than erotic baked goods? Cats eating them, that's what.

Happy birthday, Icarus. Many happy returns.

[harveywallbang.livejournal.com]

when i'm old and my kids have left the house and aren't spending my birthdays with me anymore, i want a penis cake for my birthday. *le sigh*

i love the newspaper article-esque writing. it was fun to read :)