Cat Gets Head Start On Holiday Weight Gain

[icarus]

Cat Gets Head Start On Holiday Weight Gain


The 14-pound "Monte kitty" owned by wildernessguru and icarusancalion of Seattle, WA, edged towards 15 pounds this evening with the advent of icarusancalion's birthday.

"You see," the diminuitive Icarus explains, barely able to hold their enormous Maine Coon. "We got this, um, phallic cake from the Erotic Bakery and we forgot to cover it last night. He usually doesn't like cake."

However, the cake had butternut frosting which apparently has more feline appeal -- at least to Monte.

"We got up the next morning and the cock--" Wilderness Guru begins.

"Honey!" Icarus interrupts, hefting the cat higher.

"Well, that's what it is!" Wilderness Guru says in an exasperated tone. "Anyway, the cock--" He glares at her and she rolls her eyes. "--was knocked over. We didn't figure it out until I cut a slice of cake and put it on the floor next to the TV. I went to get some milk, came back, and there he was, licking it."

The kitty wasn't hungry at breakfast and a closer examination of the cake revealed that it was missing a considerable amount of frosting. They explain that even though it isn't allowed, Monte is frequently up on the table at night. "We've pretty much given up," Wilderness Guru sighs.

"My birthday's right before Thanksgiving which leads right into the holidays." Icarus grins, snuggling their kitty. "It's like an extension of Christmas, and well, I guess Monte's way ahead of us on the holiday weight gain."

So what are they going to do with the cake? Icarus and Wilderness Guru both blush. "It's really good cake," he says.

Comments

[plsteward.livejournal.com]

I'm laughing so hard that there are tears leaking out of my eyes. It's not only because it's such a funny story & hell, cock cake just induses giggles all on it's own. It just reminds me so much of well, almost every holiday I've celebrated from age 6 on up. A total of 3 cats, and now a dog to add to the food disasters... We've never had a holiday where something wasn't gotten into by a pet. There was once a birthday where we just gave up and went out because the stakes were clearly Rainbow's meal (the thrice damned, but much loved creature sat on three of them and was eating the last one with much licking and distainful looks at us.)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I admit, most of my kitty food disasters involve a particular cat who loved butter. This is definitely the most dramatic. I wonder if he was scared when the cock fell over? It is rather large.

Icarus

[gurrier.livejournal.com]

the cake had butternut frosting

Heee! That seems appropriate!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Uh, yeah, that's what I thought. *g*

[mad_maudlin]

My parents' first dog allegedly took an entire ham off the kitchen table and dragged it under their bed to eat it. He was, however, terrified of lamb chops.

Here's hoping Monte's stomach doesn't rebel against all that frosting.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I figure that beyond a sudden weight gain, Monte's tummy will be fine. There was this year we left out a bag of marshmallows and....

[starrylizard.livejournal.com]

hehehe! Wipes tears from eyes. Continues giggling!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*chortles* It was a six-inch marzipan cock.

Or was, rather. *takes another bite*

[auburnnothenna.livejournal.com]

It's your birthday? Many joyous returns.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Remarkable I've survived this long, actually.

[nufaciel.livejournal.com]

*snickers and dies*

That's so funny!

Happy birthday! :D

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I'll be telling this story for a while....

[presently.livejournal.com]

Bahahahaha Happy late Birthday, Icarus. Kitties are so silly. xD

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Oh, this one appears to have a sweet tooth. Though he also rather avidly eat asparagus, which perhaps balances it out.

[drwf.livejournal.com]

well dont u sound like uhad a great time ...im glad...arent perverted treats fun....Well Happy Birthday sorry a little late....

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Yes. By the way, welcome to the f-list. I notice you friended me recently. And no, no, you're not late. I try to stretch my birthday out as long as possible.

[drwf.livejournal.com]

thanks for the welcome i put together a rec list if u want to check it out in my journal...first one i ever made....has some prety good ones in it...
anyways yeah birthdays dont have to be only one day ...so let the good times flow...lol...

[winstonmom.livejournal.com]

Forget Monte kitty, I'll pay good money to see a picture of the cake !!!!


PS/ I honestly hope Monte kitty is doing good.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

He used a regular camera, not digital, for the photos, but here's their website. This one's fairly close to ours, though we had a cock-ring instead of the ball-and-chain: Cock cake (http://www.theeroticbakery.com/Item.asp?ProxyID=1&ItemID=8&CategoryID=1&Type=2). *g*

Here's their most popular cock cake (http://www.theeroticbakery.com/Item.asp?ProxyID=1&ItemID=3&CategoryID=1&Type=2).

Icarus


P.S. Monte appears to have a cast-iron stomach, though we already knew that from the "marshmallow incident."

[venivincere]

Happy birthday. Please come write for my local paper. I'd pay you personally. *chortles till sides hurt*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Perhaps I should send it to The Onion? Maybe they're hiring.

[venivincere]

My God, wouldn't that be a dream job?

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

It's like an extension of Christmas

I'll just BET it is, snigger snigger nudge nudge. ^_^

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Love your icon. How true.

It was definitely the "cake of double entendres." It took two days before I could say "come" without smirking.

Oh yes, I try to celebrate my birthday for as looooong as possible. (Long. *slaps forehead* The cake still lingers....)

[libitina]

Hee! Little kitty tongue licking all the frosting off of the cock. :)

I am glad the cake was good even with less frosting. Happy Birthday.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I know! He must have really gotten up close and person with that marzipan cock to knock it over.

Thank you, it was a hilarious birthday.

[http://users.livejournal.com/meara_/]

What a great story! I see the cake got the feline seal of approval.

Cock, cake and kitty, what a great birthday combo. Happy birthday!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

WG, me and Monte all agree that it was excellent cake. Even without the cock.

[stentoriansista.livejournal.com]

::dies laughing::
I'm not sure I can add anything to the hilarity, so I'll just wish you a happy birthday!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And it was, it was.

[twistedrecesses.livejournal.com]

Lol - high quality entertainment, especially as Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" came onto the iPod as I hit the emphasis on cock.
*snerk*

I should not check LJ in the libraries - I really really shouldn't.
*giggles helplessly*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

That usually happens to me when I'm reading fanfic in the library. *sniggers with you*

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

*ggg*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Ah, what I wouldn't do for a vid of that....

[tigerlilly2063.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Your cat has good taste. ;)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Butternut and cock. (We ate it anyway.)

[tigerlilly2063.livejournal.com]

Who can resist this combination? :D

Well, it would've been a waste to throw it all away only because your cat has licked some of it.

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

*laughs hysterically*

.... ahh, that made my evening.

[nataliadarimini.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's lovely, that is.

What is funnier than erotic baked goods? Cats eating them, that's what.

Happy birthday, Icarus. Many happy returns.

[harveywallbang.livejournal.com]

when i'm old and my kids have left the house and aren't spending my birthdays with me anymore, i want a penis cake for my birthday. *le sigh*

i love the newspaper article-esque writing. it was fun to read :)