If this is a serious question- I nearly wound up writing a book with my Not-Technically-An-Ex once. But then I also coached several other women through asking him out- and getting turned down (really, he was a rite of passage)- and joined a church with him, and spent hours debating theology with him- ahh, college. So I'm not sure I'm a good example.
I don't think so! I brought myself up in sub-cultures (SF/gaming fandom, artistic circles) where one couldn't avoid an ex after the break-up, & the circles had little patience for "choose him/her or me!" drama. Except in cases of bad behavior or mental instability, of course, I look askance at anyone who carries much of a grudge against an ex for more than 6 months or a year. My "wife-in-law" Carolyn (who refers to my spouse as her wasband ;-) & I get along thick as thieves, to the spouse's dismay at times, & would be excellent friends if she lived closer. If I thought it would do any good I'd gladly offer references & take out ads promoting my ex-fiancee, who is a wonderful man.
Besides, who better to date than friends of friends, including friends of one's ex? (Assuming the ex isn't a psycho vindictive ass of course.) Sub-cultures used this "dating with friends" scheme for a long time before the recent rash of stories in trend-spotting columns. It works a lot better than blind dates or pub-hopping!
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(See? <3<3<3)
I'd like to coach someone through asking him out. He's a pretty great guy, just looking for marriage, kids, all the things I don't want.
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Besides, who better to date than friends of friends, including friends of one's ex? (Assuming the ex isn't a psycho vindictive ass of course.) Sub-cultures used this "dating with friends" scheme for a long time before the recent rash of stories in trend-spotting columns. It works a lot better than blind dates or pub-hopping!
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I feel the same way. S. is a sweetheart.