(no subject)

The Puppy and I are giggling at wildernessguru.

He used to be The Guru's roommate, and we both know how long it takes the Guru to get out the door. The Puppy needed to return his rental car.

"I'll go with you," said the Guru.

"I need to return it tonight, within three hours."

"No problem." And then we both rolled our eyes when he said, "I just need to take a shower." We started laughing. "It'll just be a half hour!" he insisted.

While the Guru was in the shower, I told the Puppy, "Watch this. He's gonna take a 45 minute shower. Then he's gonna slowly get dressed. He won't be able to find his belt, and while he's looking for it, he's gonna pick up the dirty laundry. Then, he'll put on his belt, go into the kitchen and bag up the trash.

"While he's in the kitchen he'll see there are dishes, so he'll do the dishes. At which point he'll recall there are dirty dishes around. So he'll pick those up. Then seeing the rest of the trash, he'll get another bag and do the rest of the trash.

"Then Monte will look up at him hopefully while he's in the kitchen, so he'll feed the kitty. Finally, he'll brush his hair, put it in a ponytail and be ready to go. Unless he decides while he's picking up the dirty laundry that he needs to do the laundry on his way out."

The two of us sniggered as he got out of his 45 minute shower and couldn't find his belt. He picked up the phone book in the living room and put it away. We started laughing behind our hands. He went into the kitchen and bagged up the trash. We're smirking. Still unable to find his belt we peered after him as he started picking up the dirty clothes, snarking at me that this place was a mess. Then he found his belt and picked up the dirty dishes around the apartment. I was dying with suppressed laughter. While in the kitchen, he decided to Lysol the trash can. Then he washed some dishes. The Puppy started shaking his head.

An hour later, he was ready. "What are you guys laughing about? That was fast."