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Spiritual head-scratching
Apparently I'm good at "tasks" but not good at taking care of myself spiritually.
What does that mean?
Immediately I tried to set up a task list of things I needed to do to take care of myself spiritually. Which, I think, lol, was the point.
Okay, maybe I'm kinda task driven. I have to-do lists, plans for the future, daily little check-boxes of stuff I did and didn't do.
I beat myself up about the tasks when I don't do them -- or do them late, or sketchily -- and now I wonder, how productive was that mental tongue-lashing I gave myself for being lazy? How beneficial was it to check off the task ... and then consider my Buddhist responsibilities done for the morning, task accomplished?
When I consider the idea of spirituality, I think of it as Work. As opposed to Play. And it's a different type of Work than my Job. So when I think of watching my mind and Doing Buddhism 24/7, my first response is horror. One can't Work 24/7 without going insane!
I also consider Buddhism (Work) to be the opposite of fandom (Play) and feel faintly guilty when I skip a few Buddhist check-boxes to go write fanfic.
But this idea of "taking care of yourself spiritually" is different. It's a totally different way of looking at it, more like what I'm trying to do with my cleaning my apartment every week--developing healthy habits that keep me happy, that keep me from going "aaaaaargh!" with all my Buddhist checkboxes and responsibilities because I can't stand how far behind I get at home.
It's more like taking care of the planet by changing my shopping habits and driving habits and living in a walkable neighborhood so I can so I can take care of my body by walking more, driving less. It's more like my goal of living sustainably.
How does one create a sustainable Buddhism?
I'll have to create a list.
No. Wait....
Apparently I'm good at "tasks" but not good at taking care of myself spiritually.
What does that mean?
Immediately I tried to set up a task list of things I needed to do to take care of myself spiritually. Which, I think, lol, was the point.
Okay, maybe I'm kinda task driven. I have to-do lists, plans for the future, daily little check-boxes of stuff I did and didn't do.
I beat myself up about the tasks when I don't do them -- or do them late, or sketchily -- and now I wonder, how productive was that mental tongue-lashing I gave myself for being lazy? How beneficial was it to check off the task ... and then consider my Buddhist responsibilities done for the morning, task accomplished?
When I consider the idea of spirituality, I think of it as Work. As opposed to Play. And it's a different type of Work than my Job. So when I think of watching my mind and Doing Buddhism 24/7, my first response is horror. One can't Work 24/7 without going insane!
I also consider Buddhism (Work) to be the opposite of fandom (Play) and feel faintly guilty when I skip a few Buddhist check-boxes to go write fanfic.
But this idea of "taking care of yourself spiritually" is different. It's a totally different way of looking at it, more like what I'm trying to do with my cleaning my apartment every week--developing healthy habits that keep me happy, that keep me from going "aaaaaargh!" with all my Buddhist checkboxes and responsibilities because I can't stand how far behind I get at home.
It's more like taking care of the planet by changing my shopping habits and driving habits and living in a walkable neighborhood so I can so I can take care of my body by walking more, driving less. It's more like my goal of living sustainably.
How does one create a sustainable Buddhism?
I'll have to create a list.
No. Wait....
