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icarusThe Walls of Jericho - 19 (from part 1 here)
by Icarus
Corrected version is here.
Daniel took a slug from his canteen, capped it, and stared off at the 'day stars' again, now directly ahead.
Jack held out his hand and Daniel passed the water bottle over. The rest of the team rested on the trail, packs off; their hosts squatted together - a short ways away. Which was always a bad sign for inter-cultural relations, though he was getting a little tired of the brush off at this point. They needed some common ground. A starting place.
Daniel peered at the sky again. "Jack..." He tugged at his sleeve. Jack handed the bottle back, swallowing hurriedly as he wiped his mouth.
"No, no. Look." Daniel nudged in the direction of the stars and murmured, "Unless these aliens have some technology that can rotate their world on its axis, which I sort of doubt, that's the second time those stars have been in front of us."
"Yep." Jack was unsurprised. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We've been going in circles for hours. I figured they were just trying to confuse the way to their secret hide-out - I would - but," Jack sucked air through his teeth, "we're not going to no caverns."
Sam approached with a look of irritated concern. "Sir…"
"We're on it, Carter," Jack calmly turned towards the aliens.
Daniel held up a finger. "Um, Jack? I'm on it."
by Icarus
Corrected version is here.
Daniel took a slug from his canteen, capped it, and stared off at the 'day stars' again, now directly ahead.
Jack held out his hand and Daniel passed the water bottle over. The rest of the team rested on the trail, packs off; their hosts squatted together - a short ways away. Which was always a bad sign for inter-cultural relations, though he was getting a little tired of the brush off at this point. They needed some common ground. A starting place.
Daniel peered at the sky again. "Jack..." He tugged at his sleeve. Jack handed the bottle back, swallowing hurriedly as he wiped his mouth.
"No, no. Look." Daniel nudged in the direction of the stars and murmured, "Unless these aliens have some technology that can rotate their world on its axis, which I sort of doubt, that's the second time those stars have been in front of us."
"Yep." Jack was unsurprised. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We've been going in circles for hours. I figured they were just trying to confuse the way to their secret hide-out - I would - but," Jack sucked air through his teeth, "we're not going to no caverns."
Sam approached with a look of irritated concern. "Sir…"
"We're on it, Carter," Jack calmly turned towards the aliens.
Daniel held up a finger. "Um, Jack? I'm on it."
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Date: 2005-01-03 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-03 05:04 am (UTC)Well, I guess I will just sit here and wait for the rest. :::taps foot:::
btw, have I mentioned how much I love this series? You rock!
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Date: 2005-01-03 05:07 am (UTC)Icarus
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Date: 2005-01-03 05:09 am (UTC)I'll try to give you the rest within the hour.
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Date: 2005-01-03 05:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-03 05:45 am (UTC)Since I gave you a hard time and all, here's some quick feed back:
Your characterization of Jack and Daniel are spot on.
I've read a few people who have Daniel's voice down, but Jack's voice seems harder to nail. He is deceptively simple in speech and reactions. Most authors either make Jack too one dimensional or give him flowery thoughts and speeches. Your Jack has a very cannon sound. Though I tend to be a Daniel lover, it's your Jack that keeps me enthralled with this series. Thank you again.
Now I will stop posting so you can concentrate on the story. :o)