Okay, just a little cheating (but it's dinnertime! I can do that.)

[icarus]

cesperanza did it! She's just introduced the sga_flashfic virgin challenge!

Think of it.

Virgin!John

Life-long abstinence to stay in the military?

"You can't miss what you've never had. But, you know. I sort of thought I'd be kicked out of the military by now. Get this -- I'm getting shipped to fucking Antartica."

"I know a good way out."

"Yeah?"

"There's a security camera, too, if you really want out bad."

Virgin!Rodney

"Okay, maybe with women -- blowjobs count, right? -- but not this! Of course not!"

Virgin!Ronon

"On Sateda you get married first. Have to support a wife. Kids." Ronon shrugs. "I didn't have any money for solkara."

"Solkara?"

"He means bride price," Teyla says.

"You buy your women?" John looks at him in amazement.

"You're taking them from their home," Ronon says as if this were an explanation. "Then there was the Wraith. After that, not much time. Here, no one's father to negotiate with. Plus Earth girls are too skinny."

Seduced Rodney.

"Oh no, Colonel, I don't - I don't think...."

"Relax, Rodney. Thinking is not the plan."

"They did something to you, didn't they?"

Seduced John.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather stay up this tree."

"Fine. Be that way."

Admissions in extremity.

"Oh, we are going go die and I will have never-" Sudden silence.

"Will have never, what?"

"Never mind. It is not your business. It is just we are here, stranded in orbit, and there is no here but you, and I cannot have relations with you so let's not talk about it!"

"Okay, first: I am the one who's supposed to freak out."

Virgin sacrifice!

"I can't be your virgin sacrifice because I'm not a virgin!" John rants, pulling at his bonds.

"Then you have been completed?"

"Completed?" Someone whispers to John where he's tied between two stakes. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me...."

Then there's the dance of the 20 virgins.

"Rodney..."

"Hey, I'm not arguing. Half naked women? Shaking their tits in my face? Every planet should be like this." The women dance around, draping flower leis over his neck and giggling.

"Rodney." John licked his lips. "They think you're a virgin. You're supposed to be dancing with them. To find -" Here John coughed. "- to find a mate."

"I can go with it...."

"A mate now, Rodney."

"What -- oh. Oh!"

"So just tell the nice ladies that you're not."

An uncomfortable look flashed across Rodney's face, and suddenly John knew. "Of course," Rodney said.

Or then there's the time John was 'rewarded.'

Have at it! Go write.

I am so refreshing this community every day.