It's electronic. Needs a hammer.

[icarus]

As a programmer back in the 80s used to tell me: "It's electronic. Needs a hammer."

Adventures in downloading a 349 Meg file on a 42-52K dial up. To sum up: Augh!

wildernessguru, frustrated as usual with SGA's poor military planning, unarmored gun emplacements in the gateroom, all sorts of little screw-ups they don't have on SG-1: "Of course it makes sense that it's all fucked up. Atlantis is a U.N. operation."



Naturally as I wait I'm visualizing up-against-the-wall almost violent McKay/Sheppard sex, the trite "alien substance cliche."



Carson: "It's been four and a half hours. I've had to move everyone out of the infirmary. There's nothing for it. The substance is highly contagious. We'll simply have to wait for it to wear off."

Elizabeth: "How long...?"

Carson (runs a hand up the back of his head): "There's no telling, actually. It ought to have worn off by now. The others were free of it after only an hour or so, but it appears Colonel Sheppard and Rodney received a larger dose."

[later]

Elizabeth: "Well, it's a little more... peaceful around here."

Carson: "Aye. I think it's winding down. They've been kissing for the last forty minutes."

Elizabeth (raises an eyebrow): "Kissing?"

Carson (meanful look): "It's considerably quieter." (He sighs in frustrated confusion.) "I don't understand it though. According to our analysis this shouldn't be happening. The dosage shouldn't matter at all."

Elizabeth: "Perhaps they're just more sensitive to it."

Carson: "Both of them? At the same time? That's highly improbable."

[much, much later]

Rodney (catching up to Sheppard in the hall, looking antsy): "Colonel, uh. Do you - do you have a minute?"

Sheppard (turns): "What's up, Rodney?"

Rodney (looks vaguely panicked, stares everywhere but at Sheppard): "In the interests of full disclosure I, uh, have a confession." (He coughs.) "The ah, alien substance," (He spins a hand and swallows.) "it wore off after the first hour-- but what was I supposed to do? You were on top of me, and I was, oh god. I don't think any guy would stop in the middle of that. I just-- went with it." (He finally looks John full in the face, wide eyes full of remorse.) "I'm sorry."

Sheppard: "For six hours?"

Sheppard grabs the front of Rodney's shirt and pushes him into a transporter, shoving him back against the wall. Rodney winces away. Then, fingers spread along Rodney's jawline, he leans in for a long, deep kiss.

Sheppard (murmurs in his ear): "It was great."

He steps away, wiping his mouth.

Sheppard: "Hmm. Seems to be some residual effects. We should tell Carson about that sometime."

Rodney: "Residual... oh no. You're not getting away with that. That was-- intentional! Premeditated, even!"

Sheppard (spreading his hands as he steps backward out of the transporter): "I can't be held responsible for alien influences."

They look around, realizing the halls are dark and unfamiliar.

Rodney: "Uh-oh."

Sheppard (reaches for his weapon and realizes he only has his 9 mil): "Where the hell are we?"

Rodney: "Yeah. Next time you decide to have an 'alien influence'? Try not to do it in a transporter."



This should probably be the opening for the story I owe thegrrrl2002.


I shall now resume fighting with downloads. Because I will. Have. This season. Premiere. Now. And thank you.