SGA Ficlet: And Liberty For All - John and Rodney - PG

[icarus]

SGA Fic: And Liberty For All
Pairing: John and Rodney, Gen-ish, though I think it's slash. ;)
Rating: PG
Summary: "You're a Republican?!"
Notes: Inspired by Brownstone's laughable candidacy for 2008.


And Liberty For All
By Icarus



"You're a Republican?!" Rodney was aghast.

John gave a patient tilt of his head as he explained it to the nice man. "I believe we need to be fiscally responsible."

"You're a Republican?!" Rodney repeated. He was beginning to sound like a broken record.

"Plus, they're usually strong on defense which is very important to me." A plaintive note had crept into John's voice. "Clinton now, he started cutting everything…."

"How did I not know this?" Rodney asked the air, throwing up his hands.

"There're not a lot of chances to vote when we're all the way over here," John pointed out. "I don't think many of us voted in 2004, do you?"

"Yes, and look of the mess they made of things while I was gone!" Rodney huffed. He turned a chair around, straddling it as he sat down across from John in the lunchroom. "You are not allowed to participate in any sort of politics in the Pegasus Galaxy."

John frowned. "Why do you care? You're Canadian!"

"Hello?" Rodney raised a hand. "Hubble? Funding cuts ring a bell?"

John made a face, eyes slanting to the side. "It's an orbiting piece of space junk."

Rodney's mouth opened and closed in horrified silence, long eyelashes blinking rapidly. John smirked at him and crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows in defiance.

"I don't usually mention it because it's not a popular party around here," John muttered defensively. "But I figured since, you know, you're Canadian…." He gave Rodney an accusing look.

Rodney said, waving a hand, "Okay, we'll get back to setting you straight on the greatest boon to astronomy and astrophysics later. How could you possibly vote for—oh, I don't even want to say the name. I mean—Iraq?" His eyebrows rumpled in real distress.

John rolled his eyes and sighed, slumping a little. "Relax, Rodney. It's not like I ever voted." He shrugged and squirmed uncomfortably. "Never really had the time. But tacitly…." He bobbed his head.

Rodney stared off into space, eyes glazed.

"Golf," he said suddenly, snapping his fingers. "I should have known from the golf. Only Republicans play that wasteful, stupid game."

"Hey!" John said, finally taking offense. "I'll have you know virtually every medal of honor winner played golf."

"They did?"

"No idea. But they were almost all Scottish, so I like to think so," John said, amusement glimmering under the surface at successfully derailing Rodney.

He stood, picking up his lunch tray. "Anyway," he added as a smug parting shot, "my dad left me a little something and I'd like to see it grow." He gave a little mocking nod as he turned away.

"Ah." Rodney picked up his tray and followed him. "I begin to see whose fault this is. I'll cure you of your lemming ways yet. Daddy was wrong about a lot of things."

They both dropped off their trays with a clatter, and John ignored him as he headed for the transporters, passing bubbling tubes of water and Ancient art deco architecture. It was almost surreal to have this conversation here. But Rodney was unshakeable.

Rodney trailed after him, calling out, "Aid for the homeless?"

"You can't help everyone," John fired over his shoulder, not looking back.

"Massive deficit spending?"

"Fiscal responsibility, remember? The neo-cons abandoned the basics." John lengthened his stride, trying to put some distance between himself and Rodney.

Rodney cast about himself helplessly. Then he pointed at John, victorious. "The environment!" He pulled out the big guns, stopping. "Drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge."

John paused with a wince. He looked back at Rodney. "Okay. I kinda disagree with them there. That's the last American frontier. I always wanted to live in a cabin in Alaska, just for one year, see if I could hack it."

Rodney trumpeted his victory, pumping his fist. "Aha, leverage!"

John rolled his eyes. He stepped into the transporter and hit the location for the gateroom. He said dryly, "Right about now I'm kinda glad you don't have access to the internet." Because there was no way a kid who'd build a nuclear bomb knew that much about the environment.

"I don't need it," Rodney said cheerfully, eyes alight with glee. He spread his arms. "I have an entire botany department!" John groaned.

As the transporter doors shut, John heard Rodney talking on his radio.

"Hello, Katie? Yes, well, drop whatever you're doing because this is an emergency."

Comments

[filenotch.livejournal.com]

Of course he's a Republican. Was that even in question? The military republicans hate the neo-cons.

[hack-benjamin22.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so glad to see you writing again. :) T'was quite cute.

[mad_maudlin]

Oh, this is precious. Interesting line about John's dad, too--what sort of "little something" did you have in mind?

[alyndra]

Hee! Very them. I like the way Rodney calls Katie. And gratuitously insults golf.

Been enjoying all the 'spamming' lately. Now you've got me wishing I had an actual TV so I could figure out when figure skating might appear on it. Oh well. Maybe I can get something off Netflix. *g*

[enname.livejournal.com]

Fiscally responsible.

*falls off chair with the laughing and scares the cat*

Ow, I might have sprained something there. Too, too beautiful. Far too beautiful in snap and character. It sounds like a much more mellow version of every discussion I have had with a Republican/Con/Liberal (depending on country).

"I have an entire botany department!" John groaned.

*laughs some more*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Seems like a good fit for me. I may have been projecting my feelings about golf (horrible game) onto Rodney a bit. And yes, John loathes the neo-cons. He thinks the Christian imperialistic wackos have taken over his conservative, restraint-on-Big-Government party.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I'm peeking out from under the rock, and testing to see if there's rain. So far, so good. :)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

When his dad died he left a stock portfolio to John. His final note said that John would just blow any money he gave him, so he'd better not touch this and leave it to the stock-broker to deal with changes. When John was younger he was irritated at the parting shot at his "irresponsibility" from beyond the grave but respected his dad's wishes (just prove he wasn't irresponsible). Now he's glad it's there, because he hadn't saved a dime before Atlantis.

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, well skating videos are easy to come by. Search YouTube for Plushenko's "Sex Bomb." Hilarious. Then look for "Cowboys On Ice." Hopefully it's still out there because it was the gayest thing that ever gayed.

icarus

[filenotch.livejournal.com]

He's a fiscal conservative/social liberal republican, of course.

Also, I forgot to say, nice snippet.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Fiscally responsible.

*falls off chair with the laughing and scares the cat*

Yeah, Rodney would have laughed if it wasn't too busy being shocked.

It sounds like a much more mellow version of every discussion I have had with a Republican/Con/Liberal (depending on country).

And Rodney's as relentless as a crusade. John will convert or else!

I have little snippets of other scenes. Elizabeth: "So I hear..."

John: "Oh, not you, too."

Elizabeth: "Everyone has a right to their beliefs and ideologies, I just -- I'm a bit surprised."

John: "I'm going to kick Rodney's ass."

Then later --

Ronon: "Well, I'm a Republican."

John: "Thank you. At least there's someone."

Ronon: "They're the ones for the republic, right?"

John nods slowly, eyes squinting, trying to remember poli-sci in college and coming up short.

Ronon leans on the balcony next to John, staring off in the distance: "Yeah. I was all for the republic on Sateda but then the War Lords party won."

[enname.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Rodney would have laughed if it wasn't too busy being shocked.

Ah, one of my major's is in pol sci in a conservative department, the shock soon redirects to other things. Still I always take time out of shock to laugh at 'fiscally responsible'.

John: "Oh, not you, too."

Oh, John. Bless his republican heart. :P As for Ronon and his War Lords party. I er, ahahah monty python. I think that is all I can manage to say coherently. That and I'd pay money to hear their campaign slogans.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

As for Ronon and his War Lords party ... I'd pay money to hear their campaign slogans.

I'm grinning over here. The woeful resigned look on Ronon's face as John reaches out with a confused expression, not sure what to say.

[alyndra]

Just watched them both, and am dead of awesomeness. Hysterical, and wow. I'm beginning to suspect I've been missing out by pretty much only watching the Olympics.

*goes off to peruse Youtube some more*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

See if you can get Johnny Weir's performances. He's so very, very gay.

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know what else is hot? Irina Slutskaya 2006 Gala cowgirl routine. She's so spunky and curvy, just bubbles over!

[cetpar.livejournal.com]

John made a face, eyes slanting to the side. "It's an orbiting piece of space junk."

Rodney's mouth opened and closed in horrified silence, long eyelashes blinking rapidly. John smirked at him and crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows in defiance.


You are so cruel to Rodney. Hee!

Love the emergency Botany consult, too.

And, okay, I'll admit my ignorance. What to do you mean by neo-con?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

The neo-cons or "neo-conservatives" are a particular branch of the republican party in power with Bush. Paul Wolfowitz (sp?) who was in charge of the rebuilding in Iraq is one, as are most of Bush's cabinet up to and including Cheney. They have an evangelistic idea and believe in establishing the American way across the world -- by force if need be. They've been accused by 60 Minutes and others of having Christian zealotry driving some of their beliefs, that they'll defend Isreal right or wrong for religious rather than political reasons.

They had "think tank" back in the early 90s that published a paper laying a strategy to be the only world superpower. They also justified pre-emptive strikes where this interest (being the world's only superpower) might be at stake.

This is in stark contrast to the other republican stripes that are far more concerned with affairs back at home, like reducing taxes, deregulation, eliminating welfare (under the excuse of eliminating welfare "fraud"), revamping social security, balancing the budget, while maintaining a strong defense. Bush largely won their votes in 2000 on his campaign pledge to resolve the social security financial crisis.

The more usual republicans were against Clinton sending the military all over the world as an international police force. They tend to be more isolationist, think other countries should deal with their own problems. The fact that the neo-cons have us involved in Iraq, Afghanistan, even while we're still deployed in Bosnia and South Korea drives them absolutely crazy. The new rules and invasiveness of the Patriot Act are against everything these guys stand for -- many of these republicans are NRA members, believe in Americans' right to bear arms to have the government out of their personal lives. They also think that "Big Government" is wasteful, pointless, and expensive.

Anyhow. John's family was of the NRA card-carrying, financial conservative republicans.

Icarus

[cetpar.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the clarification. I was aware of that particular subgroup in the Republican party (how can you not be?), but I hadn't heard that term used to describe them.

And I have to agree with you (or maybe it was another commenter):most of the Republicans I knew in the military subscribed to the Sheppard family, "usual" Republican party ideals. Not necessarily suprising given their occupation. Interestingly enough, though, is that I'd say my military friends were pretty evenly split between Republican and Democrat.

That "think tank"? Do you remember the name? I want to say it starts with an "R" but I'm completely blanking.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh hell, I'm not sure. wildernessguru might know.

*asks*

No, he doesn't remember either. I'm spread a little thin right now or I'd look it up. It's a very innocuous name for a group bent on a James-Bond-evil-villain plan to rule the world.

[cetpar.livejournal.com]

No problem. Thanks for asking. After pondering it, I *think* it might be the Rand Corporation. Or maybe that is just one of the other think tanks the govt. uses. Oh, well.