I keep hearing this "they were abused as kids too" but in my observation it's not an identical carbon copy of what they experienced, but rather some new variation.
My friends were all excited about V.C. Andrews when I was a kid. They gave it to me to read, and I knew by page two it wasn't for me. I didn't tell them why, I just told them it was overemtional crap (partially true).
It didn't mess me up because I was smart enough to avoid it. So I have a hard time believing that a kid in my situation would read it. Maybe I was a unique snowflake and exceptionally smart and self-aware... yeah, right. It made me cringe and I dropped it like a hot potato.
I don't think I was fucked up. Fucked up comes later when you have patterns that no longer make sense. I think I had a very rational response to an irrational situation. Locking my bedroom door at night was only reasonable under the circumstances. Hiding the fact that I had boyfriends (even my brother didn't know) was smart given the interest and comments it stirred up from the man WG calls "Sleazebag."
I had my escape plan from the time I was 12: I would ride my bike to my friend's, tell her mom what was going on, then get a ride to my grandmother's. From there I would call my dad in Toronto. I'd be on a train to Toronto that day. From there I'd call my mom and tell her from a safe distance, and she could have all the drama she wanted once I was out of range (I knew she'd send my toys). The two critical flaws in my plan were that I'd have to leave my cat and my little brother, and I was the only one taking care of my brother. Therefore it was a last resort.
Years later, when I told my stepdad (he was an alcoholic and didn't remember what he did), well, his first response was, "That's monstrous." Then he denied it to my mom and let her believe I had "false memory syndrome." Though she was the one who came up with that idea, not that I was all that surprised.
P.S. After he left her the year before last, he called me and asked if it was good for me, then tried to tell me that it was thinking of me that got him to look for someone other than my mom. Lovely. I rolled my eyes knowing full well the real reasons he left my mom.
So, no. I don't buy the "think of the children" argument at all. One friend of mine said I was never a kid, but I dunno. I think kids deserve some credit.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2007-06-10 05:37 am (UTC)My friends were all excited about V.C. Andrews when I was a kid. They gave it to me to read, and I knew by page two it wasn't for me. I didn't tell them why, I just told them it was overemtional crap (partially true).
It didn't mess me up because I was smart enough to avoid it. So I have a hard time believing that a kid in my situation would read it. Maybe I was a unique snowflake and exceptionally smart and self-aware... yeah, right. It made me cringe and I dropped it like a hot potato.
I don't think I was fucked up. Fucked up comes later when you have patterns that no longer make sense. I think I had a very rational response to an irrational situation. Locking my bedroom door at night was only reasonable under the circumstances. Hiding the fact that I had boyfriends (even my brother didn't know) was smart given the interest and comments it stirred up from the man WG calls "Sleazebag."
I had my escape plan from the time I was 12: I would ride my bike to my friend's, tell her mom what was going on, then get a ride to my grandmother's. From there I would call my dad in Toronto. I'd be on a train to Toronto that day. From there I'd call my mom and tell her from a safe distance, and she could have all the drama she wanted once I was out of range (I knew she'd send my toys). The two critical flaws in my plan were that I'd have to leave my cat and my little brother, and I was the only one taking care of my brother. Therefore it was a last resort.
Years later, when I told my stepdad (he was an alcoholic and didn't remember what he did), well, his first response was, "That's monstrous." Then he denied it to my mom and let her believe I had "false memory syndrome." Though she was the one who came up with that idea, not that I was all that surprised.
P.S. After he left her the year before last, he called me and asked if it was good for me, then tried to tell me that it was thinking of me that got him to look for someone other than my mom. Lovely. I rolled my eyes knowing full well the real reasons he left my mom.
So, no. I don't buy the "think of the children" argument at all. One friend of mine said I was never a kid, but I dunno. I think kids deserve some credit.