Well, I suppose we're all one in Buddhism, but my facet of reality was much different from yours. But I guess in your view it makes me "stupid" that at the age of 10 I bought into a teacher teaching me about sex in such a way that I liked it. There were no doors to lock. This happened decades before it became common to talk to kids about appropriate and inappropriate touching. I had nothing with which to arm myself against it, much less any idea that I should. He was a teacher, teaching me more than the others because I was "special."
Which is, I guess, a euphemism for stupid, isn't it?
I have never meant, in this discussion, that anyone should do anything different, only that I wished some of them might give some thought to the fact that there might be unintended consequences of what they post. How selfish of me to express a preference. You were turned off by those books. Fine. Had I found erotic fiction that glorified my situation, I'd have eaten it like candy. It was a very slow awakening for me to learn that he was lying and the true reason for the need for silence. I was naive, and it's funny that discovering regular porn was part of my path. Eventually I realized there was nothing in it like what we were doing. Trust me, it was a moment like a kensho. I managed to get out of it without destroying his family, but it took another year or two.
And FWIW, a long after I put a stop to it he asked me if I had any regrets. When I said, "The sex," he responded that I'd be welcome back in his bed anytime. Perhaps it's a pattern of the type.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-06-11 12:17 am (UTC)Which is, I guess, a euphemism for stupid, isn't it?
I have never meant, in this discussion, that anyone should do anything different, only that I wished some of them might give some thought to the fact that there might be unintended consequences of what they post. How selfish of me to express a preference. You were turned off by those books. Fine. Had I found erotic fiction that glorified my situation, I'd have eaten it like candy. It was a very slow awakening for me to learn that he was lying and the true reason for the need for silence. I was naive, and it's funny that discovering regular porn was part of my path. Eventually I realized there was nothing in it like what we were doing. Trust me, it was a moment like a kensho. I managed to get out of it without destroying his family, but it took another year or two.
And FWIW, a long after I put a stop to it he asked me if I had any regrets. When I said, "The sex," he responded that I'd be welcome back in his bed anytime. Perhaps it's a pattern of the type.