Xanphibian, thank you.

[icarus]

Thank you, xanphibian.

For the record, I too am an incest survivor and I write about incest. heatherly's post... I have no words. Fortunately, xanphibian does.

Xanphibian sums up a lot of what I feel.

Yes. heatherly misses the point entirely. Yes. Many incest and rape survivors aren't just "okay" with these stories -- they actively seek them out. But to understand that, I think you should read xanphibian's post.

For the record, I'm bothered by heatherly's opportunistic fear-mongering about "outsiders" on the heels of the latest scares. There's potential for a fandom backlash against writers of incest, non-con, and chan. If that happens, no one's going to care if it's a good story or a bad story, or if it's "realistic" or not. We'll just be targeted based on the warnings.

If that happens, I'd do the same thing we did in LJ. I'd take all the warnings off my stories.

Lastly... "writing responsibly"? What the heck is that even supposed to mean?

Comments

[aukestrel.livejournal.com]

I just friended you - hope you don't mind. :/ I am not an incest survivor - and one of the things that bothered me the most about heatherly's post was the implication that one had to be a survivor in order to wrwite about such things; people who have not been through this trauma cannot, apparently, understand it or at least depict it in fiction - but I am with you on the whole "who defines 'responsible'"? The answer to that is... not something I want to contemplate. I am in fanfiction because it's a place where I can create universes I want to explore, or explore universes created by others in my own way. That way happens to be slash; it could as easily be incest or chan or RPF or what have you. There are people who think writing slash fiction is "irresponsible." There are people who think writing fanfiction is irresponsible. Where DO you draw the line?

I choose not to draw a line. As a fictional world, as an artistic creation, all fanfic is created equal and should be treated equally, that is, as a manifestation of our ability to think and create, no matter what other people think of it.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Hey, welcome.

one of the things that bothered me the most about heatherly's post was the implication that ... people who have not been through this trauma cannot, apparently, understand it or at least depict it in fiction

I mention my experience because I think it gives my position more weight with the folks who believe that's important, but I agree with you. No, it isn't relevant. There's no one at the gate giving one person a pass to write a subject while another should not. *eyeroll*

You know how many times I've encountered that bogus idea? A gay friend believes I shouldn't write slash since I'm not gay. The boyfriend said I couldn't write a gritty war story because I'm a gentle (okay, maybe not that gentle) Buddhist -- though he changed his mind when he read the story that came out of ten months of war research (including talking to two Vietnam veterans).

[aukestrel.livejournal.com]

And that *hurt*. The first time I encountered, "You're a woman, you're sensationalising the gay experience for your own selfish ends, and you can't possibly understand it," that HURT. I really had some self doubt for a while.

But in the end, it came down to this: I wasn't HURTING anyone. Someone else was "choosing" to be hurt - it wasn't my intent. I'm n ot really sure why I like slash but I think part of it is that there is no question of equality in a slash relationship: two men is sort of "automatically" equal. What that says about me and about our culture and society I am well aware of, but it doesn't change how I feel about writing about a relationship where they make the rules and where they are presumed to be equal from the get go. Another part is that "make your own rules" - the man/woman thing, sure, whatever, but how *would* two men negotiate the same issues that a heterosexual couple has to negotiate?

I'm a Unitarian, so that's also part of why I find this debate so... frustrating. Everyone has to find his or her own path. No one can choose another's path and, um, judging someone else's path is both a waste of time and pointless. In some worldviews it might even be regarded as morally wrong or at best ambiguous. *g*

[chronolith.livejournal.com]

one had to be a survivor in order to wrwite about such things

oh hay thar something that had been bothering me that I couldn't put a finger on until now.

I think it's a type of elitism and a way of saying that she, because she deals with these issues in her offline life, can determine the right way of talking/thinking/writing about these issues but the rest of us lowly fen cannot. That implication rankles, honestly, because it reeks of patronizing bullshit.

I'm not an incest survivor, but I have survived a lot of shit that I'm willing to bet most of the Fen has not. I guess according to her I get to tell the rest of the Fen the 'right' way to write about gang violence, getting shot, and war because I've experienced it up close and personal. This idea, to me, is abhorent. Mostly because I have problems talking coherently about what's happened to and around me. I like warfic and violent fic because it puts into words things inside of my head that I have trouble articulating. And if I don't like it, okay well there's the back button.

But somehow she is more specially and fragile and the rest of us have to 1) take care of how we write so we don;t hurt her fragile feelings, and 2) listen to her tell us how we ought to write because she knows better. That's crap.

[aukestrel.livejournal.com]

Definitely there seemed to be a "right way" implication in her post; I believe someone else pointed out that she went to a lot of trouble to define terms but left "responsible" out there as a very, um, nebulous "write your own definition here" kind of term, and, indeed, that word "responsible" was one of the red flags for me. The other thing that rankled was, as you say, that only people who have some personal knowledge of a subject are somehow qualified to write about it. That might be true for designing rocket engines, but somehow I don't think it's exactly true for writing fanfic. Or, um, even professional fiction. *g*