Xanphibian, thank you.

[icarus]

Thank you, xanphibian.

For the record, I too am an incest survivor and I write about incest. heatherly's post... I have no words. Fortunately, xanphibian does.

Xanphibian sums up a lot of what I feel.

Yes. heatherly misses the point entirely. Yes. Many incest and rape survivors aren't just "okay" with these stories -- they actively seek them out. But to understand that, I think you should read xanphibian's post.

For the record, I'm bothered by heatherly's opportunistic fear-mongering about "outsiders" on the heels of the latest scares. There's potential for a fandom backlash against writers of incest, non-con, and chan. If that happens, no one's going to care if it's a good story or a bad story, or if it's "realistic" or not. We'll just be targeted based on the warnings.

If that happens, I'd do the same thing we did in LJ. I'd take all the warnings off my stories.

Lastly... "writing responsibly"? What the heck is that even supposed to mean?

Comments

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Hey, welcome.

one of the things that bothered me the most about heatherly's post was the implication that ... people who have not been through this trauma cannot, apparently, understand it or at least depict it in fiction

I mention my experience because I think it gives my position more weight with the folks who believe that's important, but I agree with you. No, it isn't relevant. There's no one at the gate giving one person a pass to write a subject while another should not. *eyeroll*

You know how many times I've encountered that bogus idea? A gay friend believes I shouldn't write slash since I'm not gay. The boyfriend said I couldn't write a gritty war story because I'm a gentle (okay, maybe not that gentle) Buddhist -- though he changed his mind when he read the story that came out of ten months of war research (including talking to two Vietnam veterans).

[aukestrel.livejournal.com]

And that *hurt*. The first time I encountered, "You're a woman, you're sensationalising the gay experience for your own selfish ends, and you can't possibly understand it," that HURT. I really had some self doubt for a while.

But in the end, it came down to this: I wasn't HURTING anyone. Someone else was "choosing" to be hurt - it wasn't my intent. I'm n ot really sure why I like slash but I think part of it is that there is no question of equality in a slash relationship: two men is sort of "automatically" equal. What that says about me and about our culture and society I am well aware of, but it doesn't change how I feel about writing about a relationship where they make the rules and where they are presumed to be equal from the get go. Another part is that "make your own rules" - the man/woman thing, sure, whatever, but how *would* two men negotiate the same issues that a heterosexual couple has to negotiate?

I'm a Unitarian, so that's also part of why I find this debate so... frustrating. Everyone has to find his or her own path. No one can choose another's path and, um, judging someone else's path is both a waste of time and pointless. In some worldviews it might even be regarded as morally wrong or at best ambiguous. *g*