And now for another exciting edition of... rude reviews!

[icarus]

And now for another exciting edition of... rude reviews!

Item number 671, under the heading "How not to ask for an update" --

Will you update this ever?

My answer to this is simple of course --

No.

It's always someone names "dracolvr" or "mckaysgirl," too. *eyeroll*

Wait. Maybe I could be more creative. Let's try it --

Oh, thank god.

I've had this 60,000 story finished since 2004 (when I posted the most recent part) and I've been just waiting for someone to give me that little push to convince me that now, three years later, is the right time to make it happen.

Here is your story. With a bow on top.

No, no. Don't bother to review. I see you didn't bother to respond to the 65,000 word story that it's a sequel to, but, as you obviously know, I'm here at your beck and call.

Comments

[gaiaanarchy.livejournal.com]

Man, that's harsh. Though, I have to say, that's why I'm of the review school 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' It makes me feel guilty when I get annoyed at lack of reviews (because I don't review WIPs until they're done, and I don't comment if all I'm going to say is 'I read some of this. It was okay.' Or 'More please.' Jesus, this is not a soup kitchen.)

Anyhow, just in case you were were wondering, yes I am waiting for you to finish Out of Bounds so I can write an ESSAY on how much I adore it. Actually got me to go back and watch some of the skating I missed at the last Olympics when I was doing field research. Also, kinda made me want to rent blades of glory *hangs head in shame.* Actually, since I'm not going to around when you finish, I should probably write my essay at the next installment.

[twistedrecesses.livejournal.com]

God forbid you should follow the whims of your Muses.
I mean, can't you see us all, waiting for you to acknowledge your debt to us and finish your story? Jeez.
You're so uncooperative Icarus.

:)

[ix-tab.livejournal.com]

God, I hate 'update now!!!' and it's cousins as reviews.

Though my most hated review remains when they tell me that my perfectly respectable drabble 'could be a really good prolouge for a long fic'!
What part of drabble don't people understand?

[quivo.livejournal.com]

And of course, if said long fic does not fit into their stringent standards, they bewail your name forevermore *rolleyes*

I've only had this happen with a couple reviewers or so, but it is still hugely annoying. Legitimate grievances notwithstanding, how a fic is written is how it is written. If you don't like it all that much, find something else to read, or, in the great tradition, write your own. :P

[rabidfan.livejournal.com]

People are strange.

[teaphile.livejournal.com]

It's always someone names "dracolvr" or "mckaysgirl," too.

Names like that are my first filter for fic quality. You can't often go wrong avoiding [character name/actor name] + [luvr/girl/angel]. Also, the ones with Mrs [character name].

There are a very few exceptions, in my experience.

[tealin.livejournal.com]

Will you update this ever?

Though terse, I didn't see anything inherently rude about the question. I follow one particular WiP in the HL fandom that gets updated very randomly, sometimes every few months, sometimes less than once a year. The reader above might have just wanted to know if you considered the work closed or if you had plans to go back to it at some point in the future.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It was rude. Also stupid, on several counts:

1 - The tone and attitude is obnoxious, complaining that it's not been updated. This is free fiction. When you're asking for gifts, you don't demand. This is common sense. Pay me and then I'll meet your deadlines. Or at least do something for me.

2 - This is for a story that has nothing more than a prologue written. It's not exactly mid-way through -- it never even started.

3 - This story has not been updated since 2004 and it says so on the page. That was three years ago. I think it's fair guess that, no, it's not going to be updated.

4 - This is follow-up to a 65,000 word story that she did not review. Honestly, the people who convince me to write more of a story are the ones who show me how much they're into it by reviewing it. switchknife got so many stories out of me this way -- pretty much any pairing she wanted. She got me to write Percy/Arthur for Pete's sake. Do for me and I'll do for you.

5 - According to canon, the main character of this story is now dead, the other one is married, the haunted mansion I was going to write turned up in canon two books ago, and the characterization of both main characters no longer fits. The fic has been jossed since Order of the Phoenix for years and now is thoroughly eighty-sixed. No, it's not going to be updated.

I would say that this demand (I won't call it a request) is not just rude, it's also selfish, spoiled, and childish.

Icarus

[lttledvl.livejournal.com]

Oh holy bejeezes...nice to see that those 'reviews' cross all fandoms *headdesk*

I've been getting a fair dosing of 'please, more, please, whine, beg'...seriously - someone left me a comment with the subject line of 'begging'.

And they couldn't even spell begging correctly. *irk*