Listen up, folks, it's my birthday this weekend.

[icarus]

Okay everyone, listen up.

It's my birthday this weekend and I'm turning 40.

This is not depressing because I'm forty, but I look 28 -- ha! Also, I've been telling people, "I'm almost 40" for the last year and a half. Partially to get ready for it, and partially because the disbelief and shock is so gratifying, it makes me feel not-forty.

So here's the deal. wildernessguru gives excellent presents... of the socks and socket wrench variety. He's great with the romantic gestures (bedroom filled with balloons, anyone?) but has a dismal practical streak a mile wide. I, on the other hand, am not practical at all. (I'm taking Sanskrit for Pete's sake. I drove across country in the winter, with a smile, $750 to my name, and no spare tire.)

In all likelihood my pleas for a sexy neglige for my birthday will go unheard and he will buy me a rainhat -- that will quickly become essential and I'll end up using every day, but still, not a neglige.

This makes for a worthy challenge, for a worthy cause: A birthday challenge!

Stargate fans: You can make up for the soon-to-materialize rainhat by writing comment fic about what John and Rodney give for each other's birthdays (intentionally or unintentionally) (sexual item, act, or physical object). Or what Sam gives Rodney. Or what Lorne does for Sheppard's birthday. Or what Sheppard does to avoid turning 40 (because yes, Joe Flanigan and I are the same age) and what his men do for him (or to him). Gen, Slash, Het, any rating, anything you like.

Supernatural fans: Which of the boys gives the practical presents? Which gives the practical joke gifts? What was the most thoughtful gift, and what happens when one or the other forgets each other's birthday (or at least pretends to)?

Harry Potter fans: Go for broke. No doubt Snape is also one of those "practical" gift givers as well.

The challenge will last between now and midnight, PST, November 18th.

Yes, I am shaking you down for presents. But 40. That's doesn't happen every year.

ETA: And now for the fics (I wasn't really sure anyone would write me one, and I was cool with that) but oh, come play with my pressies:

SGA: Practical and Physical Gift Giving (NC17, John/Rodney) by jade_1459 (Whoa, sweet and hot.)

An SPN Birthday (PG-13, Sam, Dean) by terrie01 (LOL! Dean tops the boyfriend by a mile.)

SGA: Five Stages of Grief (R-ish, Lorne/Sheppard) by slybrarian (Too funny. I can't decide which stage I love the best.)

SGA: It all started as a simple game of one-upmanship (PG, Lorne, Sheppard) by lunasky (Love the relationship between John and Lorne here.)

SGA: John discovered that the best presents are the ones he got for himself (PG-13, John/Rodney) by lavvyan (Yes, John does go for the high-end birthday presents.)

SGA: Unwrapping Presents (R, John/Rodney) emeraldsword (Let's hope the second one is for luck, eh?)

HP: Underpants (NC-17, Harry/Snape) (Now that's a practical birthday present.)

ETA: Forgot one! (Eeep. Sorry, Cheshyre.)

The Bond Of Brothers (PG, Percy, George) by cheshyre (This is awwwww... soft and warm and snuggly.)

Comments

[zoepaleologa.livejournal.com]

You young whippersnapper, you!

Cliche #1: you're only as old as the man you feel...

Cliche #2: life begins...

Actually for me it did (well, more like 44, but never mind). Once you are forty, you can look in the mirror in the morning and say, "Hey, babe, not bad for nearly fifty!" (I'm now doing that for nearly sixty - at 52).

And I no longer do fanfic, of any form, but my own novel central character, Ivan IV of Russia would gift you the following:

Vast tracts of land. (eg. Astrakhan, the Caspian Sea)

Massive religious symbols studded with exceedingly large gemstones (as in: size of pigeon's egg).

A falcon. The odd horse or seventeen. Slaves. Random peasantry.

Anyway, have a good one, it's a special time.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

A falcon. Cool!

(Told you I wasn't practical. WG will be filing the deeds on those vast tracts of land while I go play with my new falcon.

Jesses and everything!)

[wyomingnot.livejournal.com]

I will read your presents and wish they were mine. I turn forty next Thursday.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Really? On Thanksgiving?

[wyomingnot.livejournal.com]

Every so many years it works out that way. I'm somewhat amused that it happened on a landmark birthday.

[twistedrecesses.livejournal.com]

Before I stopped talking to her, my mother didn't used to celebrate birthdays as people usually count them - she celebrated anniversaries of her 29th birthday instead.

[sarka.livejournal.com]

Hey - happy birthday. I'll see if I can think of something and have the time. However, I just wrote you an email, but since my internet seems very touch and go at the moment, please let me know if/when you get it? Because if you don't, I'm gonna have to send it again :)

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

Forty is a fantastic age. Best sex of my life. Perspective. Wisdom, even. Cool time. Enjoy it!

[sasha-feather.livejournal.com]

John is terrible at giving presents. But suddenly he recalls how Rodney has had an eye on that awful painting of Ronon's, the one with the red sky and the fur-clad warriors. John goes to Lorne and commissions a painting...

(I don't really write fanfic, but this occurred to me anyway. Anybody's free to run with it.)

Happy birthday!

[enname.livejournal.com]

Ah. If I had a means of giving you a gift I would almost certainly be gifting you with something terribly impractical (yet not lingerie related) followed by one very practical thing (if it was lingerie related it would fall into this latter category) because it would appear I am confused like that. Alas though I have no characters and the writing skills of a gnat so you will have to make do with the imminently impractical 'fortuna dies natalis.' May it be so.

[icarusjj.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday! May you have many more, and keep posting cool fiction. :-)

SGA: Practical and Physical Gift Giving (NC17, John/Rodney) - Part 1

[jade-1459.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday! Even if you end up getting that rain hat, I hope it’s very lovely (as well as practical, because practical things can be pretty too!).

*****

John doesn't like to think about the fact that he was the one that started the whole birthday gift-giving thing in Atlantis. He'd only gotten Elizabeth that little clay pot in the first year because she had looked so... sad for the weeks leading up to her birthday. But regardless of that fact, once the first birthday had been officially been recognized in some fashion, the gift giving began.

It had started out with little practical or "priceless" gifts at first: reformatted and repaired hard drives, fresh clothing made by the Athosians or traded for off world, a cup of the really good coffee (even if it tasted a little stale), a chocolate bar, a movie you hadn't seen (be it an actual movie, or a porn clip that you somehow managed not to hear about yet). Those were the kinds of things that got passed around and gifted to other people. And there was that extremely ugly looking little statue thing (that might have been two misshaped people groping, or some rendition of vertically growing sludge) that got passed around from person to person on every birthday and celebratory gift-giving occasion people could think of.

But those were just the material things that people gave (during the first year and even after they regained contact with Earth). They were the expected gifts to get in Atlantis. Though sometimes something unique was giving as well. Lorne drew a truly spectacular picture of Scotland for Carson's birthday one year. Rodney had harassed, brow beaten, and traded with every single one of their trading partners (and with some of their first contact missions that didn't turn out anything) of three years for local stories - folktales, legends, myths, romances - and gave them to Teyla (a written and a recorded oral version) for her birthday their third year.

After that, it was the gifts that people didn't really talk about in the mess where anyone and everyone could hear them. Those were the gifts that had no real material piece to go with them - usually. Those were gifts that where exchanged behind closed doors, sometimes with the lights off, other times with the lights on. They were private exchanges, physical gifts.

Simpson's birthday came a week after Elizabeth's. She was the first one to get a birthday orgasm. She didn't go announcing it to the entire base, for which John was grateful, but it was obvious.

John had been in the labs, turning on tech that Rodney was having a hard time activating when Simpson came in. She had a very pretty silk-like scarf around her neck, and she practically glowed. Her smile was soft and full, her bright eyes slightly glazed. And she looked a lot more curvy than usual. It was kind of disturbing, because John thought she was stoned at first. But then Kavanagh came back from a coffee break and Rodney snapped at him, which made Kavanagh look in their direction (Simpson was sitting at the table next to them) and he flushed when he saw Simpson fingering her scarf before tossing a scathing remark back at Rodney.

Miko asked about the scarf and John heard her answer, "It was my birthday yesterday. I don't know who left it for me." And John could tell that she was telling the absolute truth, because she was working with the lie-detecting-snow globe-thing and it wasn't blinking any kind of colours.

After that it wasn't unusual for people to walk around sated and glassy-eyed the day after their birthday, or even on their birthday.

John got a blowjob in the back of a jumper for his first birthday in Atlantis. He and Rodney hadn't figured out how to get the pilot seat back far enough for John to get a blowjob while flying. He'd also gotten two chocolate bars, a light almost-cotton long sleeved shirt, and a clay pot as well.

SGA: Practical and Physical Gift Giving (NC17, John/Rodney) - Part 2

[jade-1459.livejournal.com]

John gave Rodney a blow job during his flying lesson for his birthday (which landed three weeks after they regained contact with Earth). Because John had finally, finally found the stupid little pull tab thing that let the seat slid back just enough for him to fit between the seat and the console between Rodney's spread legs. Rodney got the first flying puddlejumper blow job because John had given him that really ugly statue thing earlier in the day.

For John's fortieth birthday Lorne got him a hot DVD of some great porn, Teyla had commissioned the making of a pair of leather shooter gloves made of the softest leather he'd ever come across, Elizabeth got him three best seller novels to read, Ronon gave him a wicked looking knife that was more ceremonial than practical, and Rodney gave him a tiny model jumper. There were other things too, but John doesn't really remember who gave them to him, his memory was seared by the 'physical' gift (which was and is still traditional in Atlantis on someone's birthday) that he got the night before and the afternoon of his birthday.

John a fucked Rodney half bent over his desk in his 'office' just off his semi-private lab. It had been great, thrilling, and hot - because they didn't usually take those kinds of chances when the Daedalus was in orbit.

They ended up spending the night together that night as well. And the next morning, when John woke up, Rodney had already gotten breakfast from the mess (with real, fresh coffee – the good stuff).

Once they’d eaten breakfast in bed and Elizabeth radioed to tell him he had the day off, John thought about going back to sleep. Rodney had something else in mind.

Rodney pushed and shoved John around on the bed until he was on his hands and knees with Rodney behind him and rimmed him until John was withering on the bed, almost unable to speak. And then the lube came out and it was a slow prep. All careful stretching and rubbing and thick, wonderful fingers that left him breathless and panting all at once.

When Rodney finally, finally pushed into him, the sex was even slower, even better. It was a pleasure so sharp it was almost painful. John had stretched out his arms, hands wrapping around the hardly-there headboard, forehead pressed into the mattress. Rodney was bent over him, resting almost all of his weight on John, arms wrapped around him, one hand on his hip, the other clutching his shoulder. Rodney kissed, licked, and nipped at his shoulder. Rodney didn’t have enough leverage to fuck him. His thrusts were little more than slight shifts of his hips that rubbed his cock over John’s prostate, sending flashes of white skittering across John’s vision with his eyes open or closed.

It was a slow, gradual build of pleasure that filled him every time Rodney’s thrust into him, every time Rodney’s teeth scraped his shoulder. It was being filled and surrounded by Rodney in every possible way, hearing his slightly laboured breathing in his ear. It was slow and careful and everything they usually didn’t have time for. And it built and built and built, until John could hardly stand it, until all that pleasure became just this side of painful, until John thought he was going to go out of his mind. He could feel Rodney’s arms and hands clutching harder, tighter to him. Could hear his breathing change and felt him swallow hard behind him. And John knew, knew, that Rodney was holding back, holding on tight to his own release, had just swallowed back his own orgasm because this was about John, this was for John.

It was enough, more than enough and far too much all that the same time. John came hard enough that his vision greyed out and his body clenched and withered and shook from the ecstasy and relief and pleasure-pain.

"Happy birthday," Rodney panted into John's neck.
-----
End

Re: SGA: Practical and Physical Gift Giving (NC17, John/Rodney) - Part 1

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeee! You actually wrote me one. O.O

It's great. Okay, shutting up now to read.

Re: SGA: Practical and Physical Gift Giving (NC17, John/Rodney) - Part 1

[jade-1459.livejournal.com]

Lol! How could I resist? I love writing comment fic - any excuse will work for me. Birthday reasons are just better.

Re: SGA: Practical and Physical Gift Giving (NC17, John/Rodney) - Part 2

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

John a fucked Rodney half bent over his desk in his 'office' just off his semi-private lab. It had been great, thrilling, and hot - because they didn't usually take those kinds of chances when the Daedalus was in orbit.

Oh my god. The idea of the risk. Caldwell overhead. Beams that can deliver someone directly into your office. Eeep. God, that's hot.

They ended up spending the night together that night as well. And the next morning, when John woke up, Rodney had already gotten breakfast from the mess (with real, fresh coffee – the good stuff).

Mmmm... soft and sweet. And still risky, too. Oh, happy 40th, John.

And John knew, knew, that Rodney was holding back, holding on tight to his own release, had just swallowed back his own orgasm because this was about John, this was for John.

*shuts eyes* Thank you, Elizabeth, for that day off. And Rodney... would you like some of this chocolate? You can lick it off John's stomach while he recovers. He did say he had the whole day off.

Thank you. I know I made my shameless request but I wasn't exactly sure anyone would write anything. This was toe-curlingly delicious.

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

LOL! Brilliant. I can see this one. Elizabeth says, trying to control the art critic in her. "Well. John. That's... very thoughtful."

Ronon nods his approval. "Yeah, that's pretty good."

:D

Re: SGA: Practical and Physical Gift Giving (NC17, John/Rodney) - Part 2

[jade-1459.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad you liked it.

I know I made my shameless request but I wasn't exactly sure anyone would write anything.

Well, you asked for one of my favourit things to give. I couldn't resist.

But you're tempting me to write more with the licking of chocolate off John's stomach while he is still in the fuzzy, boneless state Rodney just put him in. I'm going to leave it for someone else to pick up though.

Happy birthday!

SPN birthday

[terrie01.livejournal.com]

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, baby brother, happy birthday to you."

Sam is woken up by a heavy, brown wrapped package dropped in his lap. First thing in the morning, all he can manage is "Wha?"

"C'mon, Sammy, open your present." Dean is almost bouncing in place.

The "wrapping paper" was a grocery bag in a previous life. Sam can see the logo of the store on the underside of the paper. "It's a gun."

"Yep."

"It's *my* gun." He can see the long scratch along the barrel from that time in Cleveland.

"We're broke, and we've got a job. Get dressed. Let's go."

Re: SPN birthday

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Oh, that's good. Sammy never gets a break. And Dean just topped wildernessguru for "pratical."

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I had a friend who did something like that. She "skipped" birthdays and saved them for later. Out of order. :)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I got it. A little bit of Czech is the perfect birthday present.

Funny, my computer used to display Czech but now it's giving me gibberish. I guess something I downloaded got... erased or somesuch. *headscratching*

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

So far, I'm liking it. :)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Practical yet lingerie related? I now have this vision of one of those old fashioned flannel nightgowns that sweep the floor, with the ruffles and everything.

I used to have one of those. White. All I needed was the candleholder and I could play in a Jane Eyre movie.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and I will. I plan to, on both counts. *crosses fingers*