icarus | Ron and Percy's Sunday talk (Reply)

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hp_dungeons, background. Written by

isolde9 and myself. I want to thank

isolde9 for an extraordinary few days at the Dungeons.

After *that* dance... what Ron told Percy.

After the dance with Harry, Percy wants to hook up, but refuses to do so in front of Ron. So when the group breaks up, he tries to head for some his own clubs. But Ron insists that Percy comes back to London with them.

Percy's too polite not to go back to London with Ron - Ron's his host after all. But it leaves him a little flustered and frustrated. Remember, he was stood up on his 'hot date' on Wednesday, and Harry just.... well.

Hermione lets Ron drag Percy back to their place, but they're immediately going to bed - Percy's offered a place to sleep in the study.

It wasn't difficult for Percy to slip out to see that Muggle with the 'felatone' number.

Ron's barely sleeping these days -- he's tried all the flavours of NoDoze. He curled up in the dark in the sitting room because he thinks Percy's sleeping in the study so he can't go online, which is what he's been doing when he can't sleep. Ron's not a happy boy right now.

It's dawn when Percy comes in. There's a pause as Ron looks up, and Percy's opens the door, letting himself in through the back.

Their eyes meet.

He feels a little exposed at that moment, berates himself for carrying on in front of everyone. His sex life has always been strictly a private matter, one of the few areas that hasn't subject to public scrutiny. He's sensitive about public opinion, and the 'Death Eater' allegations hurt. He's quite proud. He regrets all that he's told Ron, too. It's different in person.

Ron asks where he's been, and he wants an answer but he's more interested in accusing him of hitting on Harry, really.

Percy clams up, get all prim and proud, which looks a little ridiculous with your shirt half untucked with you coming in through the back door. He's told Ron so much, so fast, and it's now sinking in that people know. He's grateful that at least he's kept the D/S to himself. Percy says nothing. "It's none of your business who I see."

Ron doesn't agree, but he's upset and confused and still a bit drunk and on the one hand he's trying to say Percy should be more careful, because that seems reasonable to him and what a concerned brother is supposed to do, and on the other he's just wanting to yell at Percy for clearly liking Harry that way and for letting Harry see, and letting him see. So it's all angry and all pushy, but a rather mixed message.

"If you prefer that I just leave, then I'll go." - Percy, in his most huffy tone.

"I guess you'll please yourself." Quite stiffly.

~*~*~*~

Ron turns up at Percy's place tomorrow afternoon to apologise.

Percy'll be asleep, and answer the door in his pajama bottoms, his hair a wreck, rubbing his eyes. He'll be grateful Ron stopped by and let him in, try to round up something for breakfast - "oh, it's lunch now isn't it, what time is it?"

His refrigerator's virtually empty, and the place looks worse than yesterday. But he has tea and puts the kettle on. He's bewildered, vulnerable but feels safer in his own space. With a little sleep he's a bit less touchy, too. He has that vague cringy feeling that he might have said something wrong, but he's not sure what it was.

Percy's going to be tempted to tell Ron to sleep. Percy feels a little embarrassed at the state of his place, and this is the first day he's been home in eight days. Ron's family so, he tells him he has to clean up a little in the bedroom; there's no chair, so Ron sits on the bed and they talk.

Ron won't sleep. He's pretty hyped and very guilty. He'll want to be sure Percy understands he was full of shit last night, this morning, and he's a jerk, and an idiot, and so on.

Percy's a little shell-shocked by this, because he's been trying to figure out what he'd done wrong, so to have an apology from Ron comes out of nowhere. So his answer is:

"Oh. Ah. Sure," blink-blink, "of course, Ron."

He's not sure what's happened, he's not used to anyone apologising, or giving a damn how he feels (well, knowing how he feels really), so doesn't know how to react.

I think Ron will bring him something. Whiskey, gin, whatever Arthur used to drink, but the most expensive in the shop. He thinks it's a crap present, but he couldn't think of anything else.

Percy's says thank you, of course, but he's not keen on drinking. However he's not stupid. He's already figured out that Ron pulls out the alcohol when he has something intense to say. He's instantly suspicious.

"What is this? Ron, look, I'm not upset with you at all. I've learned twice in one week that some things are meant to be private." He swallows and stares off. "Going 'clubbing' with family is a foolish mistake."

Ron doesn't want to drink either, just to have brought something and he couldn't think of anything else.

"No. It's not, or it didn't have to be. It would have been fine, a great time. It should've been."

He'll kind of pace around. If Percy tells him to sit he doesn't really want to. If Percy tries to pick stuff up he'll try and help. He's going to insist it should have would have been fine, except that he's a total arse and always fucks stuff up.

"An arse? Now see, I'd believe that if you didn't have that self-same explanation every time something goes wrong." Percy gives him a look.

"Yeah, I've noticed that. About the excuse." He'll sit down if he can.

Percy runs his hand through his hair, abandons his cleaning and sits cross-legged on the bed. "I don't know possessed me to tell you any of these things. Ever since I told you about Lucius... well, you've been great, but it's a bit of a load for anyone." He laughs. "I should know."

"It's not you, or what you said. I wanted to know, wanted you to be there last night. Not that."

He'll get up again and sit down again. "You know I said there was someone." He won't look at Percy, probably at his hands clasped together between his knees. "I think it's Harry."

"Oh." Percy is floored. "Oh..." Then he remembers what he did the night before, puts the pieces together. "... my God. Ron, I didn't mean anything with that dance, I just... it was a club and.... Are you sure -?

"What am I saying. Of course you're sure, or you wouldn't say..." Percy's brow crinkles. "Hermione. What a bind; what are you going to do?"

Ron: "Nothing. I'm not going to do anything. What could I do? I love Hermione, I do. I don't know what's wrong with me, how I can be so stupid. It's not like, and I. . . Anyway I just wanted to say it wasn't you."

After a moment Ron adds, "And maybe I thought if I told someone it would just sound so stupid I'd have to laugh myself." He runs his hands through his hair. "So, you can tell me how stupid it is. And then I'll just kill myself and you can tell Hermione that I died in a mysterious explosion. Or a portal swallowed me. Or something."

That pisses Percy off. "If I ever hear say anything of the kind again..."

He makes Ron sit down. "It doesn't sound stupid."

Percy flashes on his own total and complete confusion about the situation with Lucius Malfoy. His mind's spinning very fast on about a dozen things he wished somebody had told him at the time. The question uppermost is practical: "Does Harry know?"

"No and he can't ever that'd be just too humiliating. I'm sure... I know I'll... it'll go away."

Percy's going to get that serious look and think for a minute.

"Are you sure about your feelings for men?"

That's really going to get the Weasley blush going.

"That answers that question. Well. Sort of. Any feelings for other men, besides Harry? Have you ever," now Percy's blushing a little, because his next question is a bit much in person, "ever done anything with a man?

Ron: "Course not. I mean, that's gotta be pretty obvious. Isn't it? Well, unless you count that stupid thing with Seamus last week."

"Curiosity is normal, you've been hearing a lot about this sort of thing lately, and Harry's obviously -" Percy cringes here with the memory. "- active. You could just be reacting to the, oh, goings on around you."

Ron: "I don't know. I don't know."

"Is this new?"

"I don't know that either." The last after some hesitation and in a whisper: "Maybe not."

"How long has this been there?"

Ron just shakes his head, he doesn't know. "A while. I really hate that guy he's seeing."

"How are things in the 'bedroom arena' with Hermione, if you don't mind my asking?" Percy apologises. "Could this be a reaction from problems there? Because if things don't go well with women, that doesn't mean they'll go better with men."

"What? No, everything's great. Same as before. Not different anyway. Even last night, that was fine." Ron throws himself back on the bed at this. "I'm such a bastard."

"It's obviously tearing you apart. You can't just be stoic and pretend everything's all right -" (Percy is completely unaware of the vast irony of him saying this.) "I'm not saying you need to go jump on Harry, mind."

"Don't say that! Don't say things like that." He'll probably jump up at this and start pacing around again. "- I couldn't ever. I think you're missing the big points here. I love Hermione and he'd never be interested anyway. I just need it to go away."

"No, I'm not missing the big points. I'm being practical, while you're running around in circles," Percy says testily. "Could you sit down, please? You're making me dizzy." Percy continues. "It's not new, it's been there a while, and you hope it will go away? I seem to be the bearer of bad tidings this week." Percy sighs. "If it were new, possibly. But since it's not, I... I don't think it likely. Logically speaking. What I found out with, with Lucius is that you can't do anything about a feeling. It doesn't if they're the wrong person, or even what they're like." He gets a faraway look. "All you can do is either act on it, or not. That's all you have control over." Rueful look. "And sometime's not that much either."

"I'm not going to act on it! I know that, Percy, that's not the question. It's... how to not... do this. I don't know.

"I'm not sure if it's new. Or when. I've never liked his boyfriends, lovers, whatever there sposed to be. I just need to forget it. People do that all the time, right? You have to help me, Percy. Please. You know about this stuff, you can - what do you do?"

"What do I do?" Percy gives him a wry, cynical glance. "I sleep with married men who just so happen to be Death Eaters. Forget I said that."

"Haha, right? I think I'll skip that. I meant, because you can't, you know... be with someone you want to be with."

"Forgive me for saying this and playing the devil's advocate, Ron," *deep breath* "but unless I missed the wedding invitation, you aren't married to Hermione." Puts his hand up, before Ron yells at him. "I thought I'd always be with Penny... then a year later, she and I were on friendly terms exchanging Christmas cards, and I was sleeping with Lucius Malfoy."

"I love Hermione. I like her. I don't want to not be with Hermione. Not at all, not for a minute."

"Let me finish. I'm making a speech here. I once was part of the social whirl of high society, written up in the paper all the time. Then, suddenly, I was being interrogated my Moody and had to wear the same clothes for a week in that cell while my fate was decided.

"And a week ago, we'd barely knew what each other did for a living. Now you know more about me than anyone alive. Save Lucius. And I trust you, unlike him.

"Me too. I mean, trust you." He gives Percy a faint kind of smile and looks really tired. "That's why I'm here. And, Merlin, the cell thing Percy, you... well, another time, when I'm sane..."

"All I'm saying is that that life changes."

Percy paused, hesitant of his next question. "Has Harry ever given you any sign he might be interested?"

"Course not, why would he be. Which is why, with you, cause I could see... that he was. Interested, I mean."

"A steamy dance in a nightclub doesn't exactly mean strong feelings, Ron. If that were the case," Percy blushes sheepishly, "well, I'd have a lot more options than Lucius Malfoy, now wouldn't I?

"I'll tell you something else. I haven't seen Lucius in over five years. It's been more than that since we, ah, were together. He is a proven criminal, Death Eater, and... and he could be rather rude to me. But if he walked through that door right now... tsk. If you don't think I've tried to get rid of that, then you must think I am a very great fool. Maybe everything I've said is complete hooey. But that much I know for certain."

Ron'll be really quiet over that, fiddle with his clothes, or the covers, or something. "But you weren't in love with someone else, happy with someone else. It wasn't like that with Penny, right? It wasn't, was it?" He really wants to know. "And, anyway, Lucius wanted you too, so... different."

Ron looks a little depressed, so Percy points out. "I'm not saying feelings never change. Obviously they do, or I'd still be with Penny. But, inconvenient as it may be, it doesn't seem to be anything you can fix. Be practical. I'm not haring after Lucius all over Europe. Even if, he wasn't who he is, he's married. In a way, you're lucky. You have two people in your life, and they're both good. Imagine if you were all tangled up over, oh, Draco Malfoy? Or Snape?"

Ron laughs. "Yeah, that, that would be grim." And then realises what he might have said. "Sorry."

"I know I'm lucky, even if that's pretty, I don't know, frustrating right now. And you know," with a blush, "I don't know what I want, you know, with that, it's not like I'm..."

A pause.

"And I'm lucky for this too. I mean, thanks." Ron very awkwardly tries to hug Percy, if he doesn't seem to mind.

Percy looks a little bemused at the hug, then pats Ron's back hesitantly. "Of course. Tough spot, Ron."

Ron's pretty embarrassed and changes the subject. Something about the flat, maybe the cat bowls, something obvious and dumb like that.

The cat bowls are a successful distraction. Percy explains he doesn't have a cat.

He disapproves of the neighbor locking her cat out (kitty claws at his window, potentially damaging the wood). He's spoken with her, but she has a different opinion.

He tried to ignore it, but... He's caved and now lets the cat in through the window, then lets her back out in the morning. He doesn't know much about animals, so he worried that she might make a mess and quickly purchased a cat box (he hasn't needed to clean it yet). Then got the cat food when the cat bugged him for his dinner. The neighbor knows nothing of this double arrangement.

"You have a share cat? Sorry Percy but that's pretty funny. In a nice kind of way. What's it's name?"

"Name -? I'm not sure. I just call her kitty. Or I think it's a her. One just assumes."