The Olympics are coming! The Olympics are coming!
If you're like me (in years past) you probably tune in to these winter sports, oh, once every four years. You get a general sense of who the favorites are from the announcers and interviews, roll your eyes at the inspirational life story clips, and root for the home team.
Now you don't have to be in the dark. You can be knowledgeable long before the Olympics hit.
At least about figure skating. (Everyone, feel free to correct me. I'm not an expert, I've just been following skating to the best of my ability for a couple years.)
Right now the horse race is on. It's the Grand Prix. As we speak, world class skaters are competing in a series of competitions Russia, France, Canada, the U.S., Japan, and er, I think elsewhere. Right now they're trying to earn points to get to the Grand Prix final -- and prove themselves worthy of the Olympic teams.
You see, last March at the World Championships each country won the number of slots they'd have at the Olympics based on how their skaters did. (The max is three.) China was very disappointed to not win any for men's figure skating. In a real shocker, the U.S. women's figure skating only scored two slots as our current National champ fell apart.
But our men are doing fab. Evan Lysacek won the gold at Worlds and we have a "deep field," namely, many guys running neck and neck for the same titles.
Let's have a look at our boys.
The Americans.

The ever-hot gentleman, Evan Lysacek. (The belt buckle is Batman, with cable and bat-grappling hook.)
Evan has the quad. He has the fire. He's a skater who starts pouring it out in the last 30 seconds of his performance, ramping it up and dragging the audience with him till they're standing in their seats. He's also sitting on a nice fluffy seat of awards and medals -- including World Champion last year (woo!). But. Everyone notes that the sitting World Champion hasn't won gold at the Olympics since the mesozoic era. The judges don't want to give all the laurels to just one guy. But prior to Plushenko's return, he was one of the favorites for the gold. Now, with Plushenko back, he has to pull that quad out of his back pocket to win.

The perky and what-a-fine-ass Jeremy Abbot.
Abbott is the current U.S. National champion and beat Lysacek all season long last year ... until he peaked too early, right before Worlds. He limped away from Worlds openly wondering what happened. He's a charmer with a goofy cartoon grin who wears his heart on his sleeve. And it's obvious that he's wound very tight this year, worried that he won't get last year's momentum back. That's hurting his performance. Last spring, I would said he was a shoe-in for the Olympic team. Now, I'm not so sure. He's a graceful, smooth skater who doesn't do the quad. Instead, he makes everything hard in his program, filling his bucket with points here and there and everywhere, until he wins.

Mr. Entertainment, Ryan Bradley.
Whenever Ryan steps onto the ice, I grin. He's a flirt. He's unpredictable -- in every sense of the word. You never know how he'll do on the jumps. His are too open and you find yourself holding your breath on every. single. time. But I hope he makes it, just because he's pure fun. I've seen him get distracted, entertaining the crowd to the point where he forgets he's competing! And his program this year is a spoofy, goofy stitch.

The flamboyantly gay Johnny Weir.
Johnny has been struggling since he lost the National title to Evan Lysacek in 2007. He's an elegant skater. He's a joy to watch. He paints the music on the ice. But being so flamingly gay pitted him against the image-makers in U.S. figure skating despite his talent. That battle took a toll. In turning down the heat on his effeminate style he started to struggle with his presentation. Then trying to fix his presentation, he started to lose it on the jumps. He's been very uneven this season. Now it's unlikely he'll make the Olympic team. But he has made the Grand Prix final, surprising everyone.
And then there are the long shots and newbies:

Ya gotta love an opera fan, Adam Rippon.
He's smooth. He's calm. He's got the moves. But he just moved up from Juniors and needs a little more time to simmer. But. Bear in mind that currently he's ranked 9th in the world.

The long-shot comeback Stephen Carriere.
Carriere has a jumping technique out of the old school. He has fast, fast spins. He took the silver at Nationals in 2008. But he's developed vertigo and has never developed the consistency you need to break out of the national level onto the world stage.

The whoa-where-did-this-kid-come-from, awkwardly lovable Brandom Mroz.
Mom said he looks like a penguin. He's still in high school. But in January 2009, his first year on the senior level, he grabbed the silver medal at Nationals, beating Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir. The announcers said of him, "Gee, they forgot to tell him this is hard." The oh, holy shit look on his face was priceless. Now his overall skating is developing fast, at the expense of his jumps sometimes, but he's also being bold and throwing down the gauntlet with his quad.

The name no pronounces the same way twice, Armin MAHBANOOZADEH.
Finally, there's Mabanoozerabadahblbrghf. Graceful, fluid, fun to watch. I don't know if he'll keep moving up, he's still inconsistent. But he has a musical sense that makes him figure skating eye candy.
Only three will make it to the Olympics.
Which three? We'll know at Nationals in Spokane, January 2010.
Tomorrow: those other guys, yeah, them foreigners.
If you're like me (in years past) you probably tune in to these winter sports, oh, once every four years. You get a general sense of who the favorites are from the announcers and interviews, roll your eyes at the inspirational life story clips, and root for the home team.
Now you don't have to be in the dark. You can be knowledgeable long before the Olympics hit.
At least about figure skating. (Everyone, feel free to correct me. I'm not an expert, I've just been following skating to the best of my ability for a couple years.)
Right now the horse race is on. It's the Grand Prix. As we speak, world class skaters are competing in a series of competitions Russia, France, Canada, the U.S., Japan, and er, I think elsewhere. Right now they're trying to earn points to get to the Grand Prix final -- and prove themselves worthy of the Olympic teams.
You see, last March at the World Championships each country won the number of slots they'd have at the Olympics based on how their skaters did. (The max is three.) China was very disappointed to not win any for men's figure skating. In a real shocker, the U.S. women's figure skating only scored two slots as our current National champ fell apart.
But our men are doing fab. Evan Lysacek won the gold at Worlds and we have a "deep field," namely, many guys running neck and neck for the same titles.
Let's have a look at our boys.
The Americans.

The ever-hot gentleman, Evan Lysacek. (The belt buckle is Batman, with cable and bat-grappling hook.)
Evan has the quad. He has the fire. He's a skater who starts pouring it out in the last 30 seconds of his performance, ramping it up and dragging the audience with him till they're standing in their seats. He's also sitting on a nice fluffy seat of awards and medals -- including World Champion last year (woo!). But. Everyone notes that the sitting World Champion hasn't won gold at the Olympics since the mesozoic era. The judges don't want to give all the laurels to just one guy. But prior to Plushenko's return, he was one of the favorites for the gold. Now, with Plushenko back, he has to pull that quad out of his back pocket to win.

The perky and what-a-fine-ass Jeremy Abbot.
Abbott is the current U.S. National champion and beat Lysacek all season long last year ... until he peaked too early, right before Worlds. He limped away from Worlds openly wondering what happened. He's a charmer with a goofy cartoon grin who wears his heart on his sleeve. And it's obvious that he's wound very tight this year, worried that he won't get last year's momentum back. That's hurting his performance. Last spring, I would said he was a shoe-in for the Olympic team. Now, I'm not so sure. He's a graceful, smooth skater who doesn't do the quad. Instead, he makes everything hard in his program, filling his bucket with points here and there and everywhere, until he wins.

Mr. Entertainment, Ryan Bradley.
Whenever Ryan steps onto the ice, I grin. He's a flirt. He's unpredictable -- in every sense of the word. You never know how he'll do on the jumps. His are too open and you find yourself holding your breath on every. single. time. But I hope he makes it, just because he's pure fun. I've seen him get distracted, entertaining the crowd to the point where he forgets he's competing! And his program this year is a spoofy, goofy stitch.

The flamboyantly gay Johnny Weir.
Johnny has been struggling since he lost the National title to Evan Lysacek in 2007. He's an elegant skater. He's a joy to watch. He paints the music on the ice. But being so flamingly gay pitted him against the image-makers in U.S. figure skating despite his talent. That battle took a toll. In turning down the heat on his effeminate style he started to struggle with his presentation. Then trying to fix his presentation, he started to lose it on the jumps. He's been very uneven this season. Now it's unlikely he'll make the Olympic team. But he has made the Grand Prix final, surprising everyone.
And then there are the long shots and newbies:

Ya gotta love an opera fan, Adam Rippon.
He's smooth. He's calm. He's got the moves. But he just moved up from Juniors and needs a little more time to simmer. But. Bear in mind that currently he's ranked 9th in the world.

The long-shot comeback Stephen Carriere.
Carriere has a jumping technique out of the old school. He has fast, fast spins. He took the silver at Nationals in 2008. But he's developed vertigo and has never developed the consistency you need to break out of the national level onto the world stage.

The whoa-where-did-this-kid-come-from, awkwardly lovable Brandom Mroz.
Mom said he looks like a penguin. He's still in high school. But in January 2009, his first year on the senior level, he grabbed the silver medal at Nationals, beating Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir. The announcers said of him, "Gee, they forgot to tell him this is hard." The oh, holy shit look on his face was priceless. Now his overall skating is developing fast, at the expense of his jumps sometimes, but he's also being bold and throwing down the gauntlet with his quad.

The name no pronounces the same way twice, Armin MAHBANOOZADEH.
Finally, there's Mabanoozerabadahblbrghf. Graceful, fluid, fun to watch. I don't know if he'll keep moving up, he's still inconsistent. But he has a musical sense that makes him figure skating eye candy.
Only three will make it to the Olympics.
Which three? We'll know at Nationals in Spokane, January 2010.
Tomorrow: those other guys, yeah, them foreigners.