Waffling over signing up for Yuletide, I missed it.

I signed up for Yuletide in 2012.

I defaulted.

I never default. Backed out of my first ever challenge (the Snape FQ Fest back in 2003) because I didn't know how to do them, and one year out of eight SGA Santas I had a personal situation.

But otherwise, in ten years of Ron challenges, Blame Somebody Else challenges, SG-1 challenges, SGA Gen Fic challenges, SGA Flashfic, Percy Ficathons ... I never missed.

The engine died on Yuletide. For no reason.

No, I didn't get the impossible fandom.

No, the prompt was fine.

I drifted, completely uninspired.

Hovering around Yuletide for years, it seems like everyone else has fun. I don't know why I didn't enjoy it. After my experience defaulting ... I haven't wanted to try again unless I was absolutely sure.

But this year there was a micro-fandom I wanted to try. It was possible. When I tried to sign up though, I couldn't offer more than three. Fandom number four, there just wasn't anything I'd be willing to write.

And I had defaulted before.

I debated back and forth. Was it worth a shot this year? No one had requested my micro-fandom, so it seemed unlikely I'd get matched on it.

Dithering too long, buried under schoolwork ... I missed the deadline.

Am so disappointed. I feel like this was the one year Yuletide might've worked for me.

Feeling really down in the dumps about this. Anyone out there?