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icarusI love my little apartment. The kitty boys are great. My aunt and uncle and I seem to get along well; I appreciate all they've done for me; they appreciate that I pay my rent and am quiet and unobtrusive.
Then my cousin and her boyfriend moved in with their new baby.
Picture getting pregnant the first week of dating. Picture a boyfriend from a hick town in West Virginia, orphaned, raised by his grandparents, who's only nineteen (she's twenty-three). Picture the grandparents kicking him out when they learned he got a girl pregnant. Picture this is the second child he's fathered since he was seventeen -- and you both find out about child number one when he's served papers. Picture living in a trailer with him while he works at the chicken factory where you met and his falling asleep with the baby unattended. Picture almost rupturing the stitches from your C-section because you're not getting much help. Picture moving in with your parents because you've come close enough to injuring yourself that the doctor won't let you even pick up the baby. Imagine then diving back and forth to stay with your boyfriend on weekends and your parents during the week (it's an all-day drive there and back, and your parents foot the very expensive bill).
Then picture the slumlord of a trailer owner fumigating some mice, but leaving the bodies to rot and stink the place up. Every time the heat comes on (in November)....
So she and the boyfriend move in, though he has to leave his job at the chicken factory to do so. There goes their one income. He is nineteen and immature and handles his departure from the job badly, by not showing up several days in a row and declaring to his employers that he's looking for work in Maryland. Being fired for cause means he's penalized on his unemployment -- can't collect it right away -- and declaring he's living out of state means he can't collect it from his former state at all. He doesn't understand this and just feels screwed over.
So she gets a low-paying job while he haphazardly looks for work. He gets a job at Sam's Club, but at one that's too far away, there's no public transportation from here to there, and he neither drives nor has a car (she does, but she has to go to her job). Instead of explaining this to the company and turning down the job (he thinks he'll get in trouble for it), he just no-shows for several days and gets fired. His child support of the other baby is piling up and he hasn't followed the advice to inform the state that he's unemployed.
I talk to the two about going to community college and taking advantage of their incredibly low rent ($300) to lay a better foundation. She's filed her FAFSA. He's interested, but also talked to me about how he could be a pro wrestler or, if he could put the stories in his head on paper, a writer who'd have plenty of money.
Picture the two not exactly joyously in love, her overreacting to little things in his handling of the baby (but it's not about the baby), his yelling and slamming things. Add to the tensions his sending texts last month (on her cellphone) looking for girls who are "feeling nasty." She broke up with him, then took him back the following day.
While we were away at the funeral they managed to break the footrest on the couch and screw up my aunt's laptop.
I work nights and weekends. People are in bed or calmly watching TV by the time I'm home. Usually.
~*~*~
This morning I was cuddled under the blankets with a kneading and purring Rothy kitty. I had to rearrange a sweater to protect my stomach from the sharp, picky claws of an enthusiastic happy!catTM. The gas fireplace was on. Junior popped up onto my pillow, not realizing Rothy was under the blanket (or hoping to get in on the snuggle action), so was caught off-guard and got yowled at by Rothy.
That's when the argument started upstairs. His voice: swearing, shouting at her (I could hear it through the floor and a closed door). He slammed his fists on what was probably the kitchen counter. Her snapping back at him, haughty and victorious.
Now the fireplace is back on. I'm snuggled next to Junior thinking their relationship is doomed. Their fights are vicious, not aimed at a resolution, but fighting each other to win. There never seems to be an actual end to the fights, just a temporary truce.
I just hope they both manage to finish college or at least a technical certificate before it all blows up. In the meantime, it's a crappy way to wake up in the morning.
Then my cousin and her boyfriend moved in with their new baby.
Picture getting pregnant the first week of dating. Picture a boyfriend from a hick town in West Virginia, orphaned, raised by his grandparents, who's only nineteen (she's twenty-three). Picture the grandparents kicking him out when they learned he got a girl pregnant. Picture this is the second child he's fathered since he was seventeen -- and you both find out about child number one when he's served papers. Picture living in a trailer with him while he works at the chicken factory where you met and his falling asleep with the baby unattended. Picture almost rupturing the stitches from your C-section because you're not getting much help. Picture moving in with your parents because you've come close enough to injuring yourself that the doctor won't let you even pick up the baby. Imagine then diving back and forth to stay with your boyfriend on weekends and your parents during the week (it's an all-day drive there and back, and your parents foot the very expensive bill).
Then picture the slumlord of a trailer owner fumigating some mice, but leaving the bodies to rot and stink the place up. Every time the heat comes on (in November)....
So she and the boyfriend move in, though he has to leave his job at the chicken factory to do so. There goes their one income. He is nineteen and immature and handles his departure from the job badly, by not showing up several days in a row and declaring to his employers that he's looking for work in Maryland. Being fired for cause means he's penalized on his unemployment -- can't collect it right away -- and declaring he's living out of state means he can't collect it from his former state at all. He doesn't understand this and just feels screwed over.
So she gets a low-paying job while he haphazardly looks for work. He gets a job at Sam's Club, but at one that's too far away, there's no public transportation from here to there, and he neither drives nor has a car (she does, but she has to go to her job). Instead of explaining this to the company and turning down the job (he thinks he'll get in trouble for it), he just no-shows for several days and gets fired. His child support of the other baby is piling up and he hasn't followed the advice to inform the state that he's unemployed.
I talk to the two about going to community college and taking advantage of their incredibly low rent ($300) to lay a better foundation. She's filed her FAFSA. He's interested, but also talked to me about how he could be a pro wrestler or, if he could put the stories in his head on paper, a writer who'd have plenty of money.
Picture the two not exactly joyously in love, her overreacting to little things in his handling of the baby (but it's not about the baby), his yelling and slamming things. Add to the tensions his sending texts last month (on her cellphone) looking for girls who are "feeling nasty." She broke up with him, then took him back the following day.
While we were away at the funeral they managed to break the footrest on the couch and screw up my aunt's laptop.
I work nights and weekends. People are in bed or calmly watching TV by the time I'm home. Usually.
~*~*~
This morning I was cuddled under the blankets with a kneading and purring Rothy kitty. I had to rearrange a sweater to protect my stomach from the sharp, picky claws of an enthusiastic happy!catTM. The gas fireplace was on. Junior popped up onto my pillow, not realizing Rothy was under the blanket (or hoping to get in on the snuggle action), so was caught off-guard and got yowled at by Rothy.
That's when the argument started upstairs. His voice: swearing, shouting at her (I could hear it through the floor and a closed door). He slammed his fists on what was probably the kitchen counter. Her snapping back at him, haughty and victorious.
Now the fireplace is back on. I'm snuggled next to Junior thinking their relationship is doomed. Their fights are vicious, not aimed at a resolution, but fighting each other to win. There never seems to be an actual end to the fights, just a temporary truce.
I just hope they both manage to finish college or at least a technical certificate before it all blows up. In the meantime, it's a crappy way to wake up in the morning.