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icarusShould I really be applying for a master's in teaching?
- What I really want is an MFA in writing, followed by teaching freshman comp.
But in all practicality, I'm seeing how the adjunct professor world works, and I can't become a "Beltway warrior," teaching at one college in the morning and another at night. I won't live in my car. I also need healthcare. Adjunct professors have all the job security and benefits of temps. I wouldn't want to go the route of a Ph.d in English which is what it would require to teach tenure track at a larger college. I don't care about literature the way I care about writing.
- What I really want is to throw practicality to the wind and dive into a Ph.d. in Tibetan studies and Buddhism at UVA.
But in terms of work, there's nothing I can do with it, or rather, nothing I can do with it that will pay the bills. Unless I were willing to relocate to where any scrapings of work might be. Which I'm not.
Today I had a very hard session at tutoring, so I know I'm feeling down. I'm also aware that I'm on the rag and thus very emotional.
I can take high school attitude. But I can't deal with learning disabilities, especially kids who have IAPs whose parents never told us. Today I was asked to help a learning disabled kid review for a test tomorrow, a test for a class where he knew nothing at all about subject, and had never once opened his textbook, largely because his reading level doesn't enable him to fully comprehend the textbook. Yet the only way we found out he might have an IAP (thus a learning disability) is a comment he dropped to another tutor, "Oh, I don't do homework. I go to the learning center where the teacher helps me." Which I learned, by the way, several hours after the session.
Arrrrgh.
The real trouble isn't that I didn't know about his disability (and thus the whole session was completely useless). The real trouble is that learning disabilities put my teeth on edge. I don't want to deal with them, and when I have to, I force myself, but I just hate it. There's a part of me that stands back and thinks, "Oh my god, you are so stupid."
Which, I dunno, maybe I should go for adjunct professor. At least then part of my job would be weeding.
- What I really want is an MFA in writing, followed by teaching freshman comp.
But in all practicality, I'm seeing how the adjunct professor world works, and I can't become a "Beltway warrior," teaching at one college in the morning and another at night. I won't live in my car. I also need healthcare. Adjunct professors have all the job security and benefits of temps. I wouldn't want to go the route of a Ph.d in English which is what it would require to teach tenure track at a larger college. I don't care about literature the way I care about writing.
- What I really want is to throw practicality to the wind and dive into a Ph.d. in Tibetan studies and Buddhism at UVA.
But in terms of work, there's nothing I can do with it, or rather, nothing I can do with it that will pay the bills. Unless I were willing to relocate to where any scrapings of work might be. Which I'm not.
Today I had a very hard session at tutoring, so I know I'm feeling down. I'm also aware that I'm on the rag and thus very emotional.
I can take high school attitude. But I can't deal with learning disabilities, especially kids who have IAPs whose parents never told us. Today I was asked to help a learning disabled kid review for a test tomorrow, a test for a class where he knew nothing at all about subject, and had never once opened his textbook, largely because his reading level doesn't enable him to fully comprehend the textbook. Yet the only way we found out he might have an IAP (thus a learning disability) is a comment he dropped to another tutor, "Oh, I don't do homework. I go to the learning center where the teacher helps me." Which I learned, by the way, several hours after the session.
Arrrrgh.
The real trouble isn't that I didn't know about his disability (and thus the whole session was completely useless). The real trouble is that learning disabilities put my teeth on edge. I don't want to deal with them, and when I have to, I force myself, but I just hate it. There's a part of me that stands back and thinks, "Oh my god, you are so stupid."
Which, I dunno, maybe I should go for adjunct professor. At least then part of my job would be weeding.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 08:06 am (UTC)No advice. Obviously. You wouldn't want any from me anyway. ;)
*more hugs* because I had a bad night teaching last night and am also on the rag so I do have a decent idea of where your head might be.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 08:20 am (UTC)Why wouldn't I take your advice? You're in the midst of some heavy, hard experience, and your knowledge now is hard won. Not easy for you to see what you've learned yet, but honest, you'll see it later.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 08:35 am (UTC)My vote would be to do dive into the phd in Tibetan studies and Budddhism. Fuck the practicality. Why expend the energy (and money) on a course of study that isn't what you want?
You keep some really wacky hours.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 08:43 am (UTC)I truly do. Welcome to 4:39am, my time.
Tibetan language and Buddhist studies would take me away from my temple, prayershifts, teachings, and practice that I need right now. My temple's in trouble: the county has shut our doors to public assembly.
Also, my mom is almost 70 and due to my truly godawful stepdad, is having to go back to work. At 70. When she's been a housewife for the last 20 years.
I cannot afford an impractical choice: I have a family to think of.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 03:01 pm (UTC)(The toughest are actually the non-traditional students with learning disabilities, who went to high school before the formal systems of diagnosis were in place, and don't know how to navigate the surrounding bureaucracy.)
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 03:12 pm (UTC)Well, there you go.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 09:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-08 12:06 am (UTC)