Commentary: Beg Me For It
Jan. 30th, 2004 01:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusOkay. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ashfae asked for a commentary on Beg Me For It, and it occurred to me that people might be interested in some other stories so I set up this poll.
Beg Me For It commentary was requested by 22 people so far, so I've done that one first. Next up: Sex, Drugs and Death Eater Rock.
Commentary on Beg Me For It forashfae:
This is all Fred Cole's fault:
'Beg Me For It' is everything I swore I would never write. I was very canon-centric, Ron was at best straight-bendable, I hated angst, avoided darkfic, despised non-con, and was a staunch JKR imitator: third person, simple past only please. With a lot of magic on the side or it isn't Harry Potter.
As everyone who's read the summary knows, 'Beg Me For It' started as a comment from Fred Cole (emeraldjay) who mentioned in his review of Hagrid's Hut, "Just once I'd like to see Draco beg Ron for sexual pleasure." I answered, "Never in a million years. Even if Ron were gay, Draco is too proud."
I was standing in the kitchen complaining towildernessguru about fanon and canon, and that the only way to get Ron and Draco together was to force them to… and the only way that would happen would be if the Death Eaters won and… uh.
Uh-oh.
"Honey," I said. "I have this awful idea. It would be the darkest, bleakest thing I've ever written." I couldn't write this.
"Then don't write it," he said.
But I sketched the story out in my notebook anyway.
I write outlines of stories, the bare bones of conversation and event, then add visual detail when I go back to type it. Sometimes the entire piece will come out verbatum in the first pass. Beg Me For It is in a fast, virtually illegible scrawl; I desperately tried to keep up with the unfolding images, pencil flying. I knew the beginning, and I knew the last line was going to be "Beg me for it."
The original version and TMI:
- I wrote it in third person.
- At first I didn't know that Percy was at the Ministry, and why Ron wouldn't fight back from the very beginning.
- I didn't know that he was in a cush low security prison or his day to day life.
- I did want to make sure I had canon, bastard Draco for this story, and I kept Cybele's 'kick!Draco' story in mind.
- Ron/Draco's conversation and challenges in the arena were clear, and I knew I wanted them to have real consensual sex by the end of the story. I had that scene written out.
- But even in the notes Draco gave me problems. He wouldn't trust Ron in the arena. Hell no. And wouldn't go along with sex later either -- he had an issue with the fact Ron had actually gone ahead with the rape in the original. For some reason, that bugged him.
There were major gaping holes in the plot.
When I sat down to type it anyway… I couldn't.
I hate angst. With a passion. To write something this dark, I realised I needed Ron's sense of humour to survive this story personally. I'm drawing from experience for the Arena scene, you see. People remark that there isn't a leering quality to the scene, that I don't describe more than I have to. I once witnessed a beating of someone where a large group of people watched, and my descriptions to the police and others have always been similarly sparing. To me, the arena scene is not at all sexy, nor is it kinky, it is about violence and abuse of power. I was very surprised when I read it to Wilderness Guru and he told me that scene was 'hot.' For me it's disturbing, but real.
I had another problem in that this story spans about a year. I needed something to condense and skip over time, and I tend to avoid exposition.
So I rewrote as I typed on the fly into first person. Just an instinct, a nudge in the back of my mind.
Ron changed everything:
When I wrote from Ron's perspective, the story completely changed. Instead of being a horror, it showed Ron's spirit under the worst circumstances. And that's a story I like telling, especially when he surprised me with: "Lucius Malfoy was the best Minister of Magic we ever had. There was definitely something wrong with that." -- I laughed for several minutes. It had to be the most outrageous opening line I'd ever read. From that moment on, I was into it.
Ron breezily filled in all the plot holes as I typed. He told me about Percy. Their jobs, the chocolates, all in his flippant way. All the Ron quips and sarcasm came out on the fly, his 'brilliant plan number 2'; he said them, not me. I rolled when he noticed the white sneakers, right around the time I learned that he hadn't been outside since his capture, which he just mentioned in passing in that way people get used to hardship. He just shrugged.
I respected him when he said that the reason he intended to save Malfoy's life was that he didn't want his blood on his hands, he didn't give a damn if he himself was hurt. That's the moment I understand what Ron was all about, and the rest of his story followed from his off-handed comment.
The first typed draft is pretty much what you see published, with only one major change.
The Arena:
Draco also shifted the scenes he was in as I typed, though not as much. The collaborator angle didn't occur to me until Draco spat that out at Ron, and I realised it was true. It wove its way into the story and became a part of the fabric, as much outside my control as the decision to write in first person.
Getting Draco to trust Ron was still tough, and the whole situation seemed so fucked up to me I threw in the line: "I wondered at the twisted minds that came up with all this." I'm referring to myself here, that was the moment when I stepped out of the story and went, Jesus; what am I writing here?
The major change in the story was the key moment when Draco trusted Ron. This I owe to my beloved beta, CLS. Originally Ron called Draco by his name and that got Draco's attention and shifted the relationship between them and… oh well. It was weak. I didn't like it, but hoped no one would notice. Connie (CLS), my beta, did notice, thank goodness. We rehashed that scene over and over (and over) again. Finally it was their tone of voice, the meaning behind the words not the mere use of their first names that won each other's confidence. I owe her a real debt of gratitude. That weak scene could have sunk the story. Everyone should listen to their betas, always.
I still think the best part of the Arena scene is: "The defiance ran right out of him and he started looking really shaky"…"if he doesn't know, then I just saw him crack. Maybe it was harder to stand up to them when there was a little trickle of hope." It appeared in the fabric of the story, surfacing from that same awful experience of mine, and I didn't notice it until Connie pointed it out.
Ron was so good-hearted, Draco's 'problem' with the rape became a non-issue, because Ron refused to do it. I still wasn't sure that Draco would be willing to sleep with Ron so soon after a trauma. I wonder about his motives, and it remains a possible weakness in the narrative. But I went ahead because I wanted that shift in the relationship. No one seems to have noticed it, perhaps because we all want the same thing, perhaps because it does make sense.
The toughest scene to write was Lucius' entrance, believe it or not. I had a whole description of their trip back to the Ministry that I eventually realised I was struggling with because I didn't need it. Some problems can be solved with the Delete key.
The mind-blowing sex:
The sex scene owes a lot to Cybele. This was written shortly after she published 'Just Add Water.' Her story felt so 'male,' and feminized slash is the reason I started writing slash. I have two poles my stories return to: writing men as men, and moral grey areas.
I read it to Wilderness Guru (always my partner in slash) and he was absolutely convinced that Cybele was really a man. He said that women don't go straight for the cock, and they almost never write masturbation scenes - which are 90% of what guys do together. But there was something else in that story, I thought, and that was a lack of romanticizing sex. [Are people getting the idea that I'm heavily influenced by other fanfic writers? Yep. This is a good time to give credit to Cassandra Claire for Ron's "Lucius and the Death Eaters, sounds like a rock band" line. I'd read Draco Dormiens, but it wasn't till later that I realised that was the source of that wisecrack of Ron's. It's an easy enough cheap shot at Lucius that I left it in, even though I had a feeling I'd read it somewhere. A reviewer at InkStain later pointed out the source to me.]
Back to unromantic sex, I'd originally intended a typical anal sex scene, but Draco being physically damaged tore that up.
'Just Add Water' and The Guru convinced me that a blunt, straight-for-the-cock mutual masturbation scene was just what I wanted. It fit their outgoing sexual natures, Ron's directness and Draco's easy sensuality.
I had a brief worry that a straight Ron might have a problem with sleeping with Draco, but once again he breezed right over it. Most of what I know about the attitudes of men in prison come from an ex-con turned Buddhist who was the big wheel in a state penitentiary; he was a former drug kingpin and ran the drug trade inside the prison. Arms the size of most people's thighs. Anyway, Ron's lack of concern comes from my second-hand knowledge of prison attitudes, and I'd forgotten about his lack of sexual outlets. Coming from a sexually charged (if messed up) scene would have his mind running in that direction -- yeah, he'd go for it.
I still don't know why Draco reciprocated, though it feels absolutely right to me. Draco being served instead of being used is the hook that got him to go along with it, but it was Draco who chose to turn it into a mutual relationship. There are a lot of undercurrents in this story that I'm still discovering and piecing together.
It always bothered me that I never knew exactly what Ron's big plan was. But then again, I don't think he knew at that point either.
I was leaping time and grateful how first person easily lets you jump from point in time to the next. At the end, pacing was everything. I had to cut two scenes I had scribbled towards the end (later published in the drabble series) which hurt let me tell you. But you gotta be ruthless. I had what I wanted, which was a tense sexual relationship that tore down both of their boundaries.
Beg Me For It and Nazism:
To answer a common question, Lucius Malfoy's rules for assigning responsibilities really are from the writings of an unknown Nazi SS officer. But though his Ministry of Magic is often compared to Nazism in reviews, it is not based on Nazi Germany. I know too little about Fascism to write that.
The Ministry power structure is actually an amalgamation of my experiences in corporate America - I worked for a multinational corporation for many years - and Buddhist religious politics. Both of which are corrupt. It's also informed by my study of the politics and power structures of cults, as I feel that Voldemort is a typical cult 'charismatic leader.' To move slightly off topic, the description of Percy and his chocolates at the end of 'Hey You' (the third part of the Beg Me For It series), his epiphany that he's not able to change corruption from within the system, is the most powerful and deeply personal scene I've yet written in fanfiction. That's why I often say that Percy is my MarySue.
ashfae asked for a commentary on Beg Me For It, and it occurred to me that people might be interested in some other stories so I set up this poll. Beg Me For It commentary was requested by 22 people so far, so I've done that one first. Next up: Sex, Drugs and Death Eater Rock.
Commentary on Beg Me For It for
ashfae:This is all Fred Cole's fault:
'Beg Me For It' is everything I swore I would never write. I was very canon-centric, Ron was at best straight-bendable, I hated angst, avoided darkfic, despised non-con, and was a staunch JKR imitator: third person, simple past only please. With a lot of magic on the side or it isn't Harry Potter.
As everyone who's read the summary knows, 'Beg Me For It' started as a comment from Fred Cole (
emeraldjay) who mentioned in his review of Hagrid's Hut, "Just once I'd like to see Draco beg Ron for sexual pleasure." I answered, "Never in a million years. Even if Ron were gay, Draco is too proud."I was standing in the kitchen complaining to
wildernessguru about fanon and canon, and that the only way to get Ron and Draco together was to force them to… and the only way that would happen would be if the Death Eaters won and… uh. Uh-oh.
"Honey," I said. "I have this awful idea. It would be the darkest, bleakest thing I've ever written." I couldn't write this.
"Then don't write it," he said.
But I sketched the story out in my notebook anyway.
I write outlines of stories, the bare bones of conversation and event, then add visual detail when I go back to type it. Sometimes the entire piece will come out verbatum in the first pass. Beg Me For It is in a fast, virtually illegible scrawl; I desperately tried to keep up with the unfolding images, pencil flying. I knew the beginning, and I knew the last line was going to be "Beg me for it."
The original version and TMI:
- I wrote it in third person.
- At first I didn't know that Percy was at the Ministry, and why Ron wouldn't fight back from the very beginning.
- I didn't know that he was in a cush low security prison or his day to day life.
- I did want to make sure I had canon, bastard Draco for this story, and I kept Cybele's 'kick!Draco' story in mind.
- Ron/Draco's conversation and challenges in the arena were clear, and I knew I wanted them to have real consensual sex by the end of the story. I had that scene written out.
- But even in the notes Draco gave me problems. He wouldn't trust Ron in the arena. Hell no. And wouldn't go along with sex later either -- he had an issue with the fact Ron had actually gone ahead with the rape in the original. For some reason, that bugged him.
There were major gaping holes in the plot.
When I sat down to type it anyway… I couldn't.
I hate angst. With a passion. To write something this dark, I realised I needed Ron's sense of humour to survive this story personally. I'm drawing from experience for the Arena scene, you see. People remark that there isn't a leering quality to the scene, that I don't describe more than I have to. I once witnessed a beating of someone where a large group of people watched, and my descriptions to the police and others have always been similarly sparing. To me, the arena scene is not at all sexy, nor is it kinky, it is about violence and abuse of power. I was very surprised when I read it to Wilderness Guru and he told me that scene was 'hot.' For me it's disturbing, but real.
I had another problem in that this story spans about a year. I needed something to condense and skip over time, and I tend to avoid exposition.
So I rewrote as I typed on the fly into first person. Just an instinct, a nudge in the back of my mind.
Ron changed everything:
When I wrote from Ron's perspective, the story completely changed. Instead of being a horror, it showed Ron's spirit under the worst circumstances. And that's a story I like telling, especially when he surprised me with: "Lucius Malfoy was the best Minister of Magic we ever had. There was definitely something wrong with that." -- I laughed for several minutes. It had to be the most outrageous opening line I'd ever read. From that moment on, I was into it.
Ron breezily filled in all the plot holes as I typed. He told me about Percy. Their jobs, the chocolates, all in his flippant way. All the Ron quips and sarcasm came out on the fly, his 'brilliant plan number 2'; he said them, not me. I rolled when he noticed the white sneakers, right around the time I learned that he hadn't been outside since his capture, which he just mentioned in passing in that way people get used to hardship. He just shrugged.
I respected him when he said that the reason he intended to save Malfoy's life was that he didn't want his blood on his hands, he didn't give a damn if he himself was hurt. That's the moment I understand what Ron was all about, and the rest of his story followed from his off-handed comment.
The first typed draft is pretty much what you see published, with only one major change.
The Arena:
Draco also shifted the scenes he was in as I typed, though not as much. The collaborator angle didn't occur to me until Draco spat that out at Ron, and I realised it was true. It wove its way into the story and became a part of the fabric, as much outside my control as the decision to write in first person.
Getting Draco to trust Ron was still tough, and the whole situation seemed so fucked up to me I threw in the line: "I wondered at the twisted minds that came up with all this." I'm referring to myself here, that was the moment when I stepped out of the story and went, Jesus; what am I writing here?
The major change in the story was the key moment when Draco trusted Ron. This I owe to my beloved beta, CLS. Originally Ron called Draco by his name and that got Draco's attention and shifted the relationship between them and… oh well. It was weak. I didn't like it, but hoped no one would notice. Connie (CLS), my beta, did notice, thank goodness. We rehashed that scene over and over (and over) again. Finally it was their tone of voice, the meaning behind the words not the mere use of their first names that won each other's confidence. I owe her a real debt of gratitude. That weak scene could have sunk the story. Everyone should listen to their betas, always.
I still think the best part of the Arena scene is: "The defiance ran right out of him and he started looking really shaky"…"if he doesn't know, then I just saw him crack. Maybe it was harder to stand up to them when there was a little trickle of hope." It appeared in the fabric of the story, surfacing from that same awful experience of mine, and I didn't notice it until Connie pointed it out.
Ron was so good-hearted, Draco's 'problem' with the rape became a non-issue, because Ron refused to do it. I still wasn't sure that Draco would be willing to sleep with Ron so soon after a trauma. I wonder about his motives, and it remains a possible weakness in the narrative. But I went ahead because I wanted that shift in the relationship. No one seems to have noticed it, perhaps because we all want the same thing, perhaps because it does make sense.
The toughest scene to write was Lucius' entrance, believe it or not. I had a whole description of their trip back to the Ministry that I eventually realised I was struggling with because I didn't need it. Some problems can be solved with the Delete key.
The mind-blowing sex:
The sex scene owes a lot to Cybele. This was written shortly after she published 'Just Add Water.' Her story felt so 'male,' and feminized slash is the reason I started writing slash. I have two poles my stories return to: writing men as men, and moral grey areas.
I read it to Wilderness Guru (always my partner in slash) and he was absolutely convinced that Cybele was really a man. He said that women don't go straight for the cock, and they almost never write masturbation scenes - which are 90% of what guys do together. But there was something else in that story, I thought, and that was a lack of romanticizing sex. [Are people getting the idea that I'm heavily influenced by other fanfic writers? Yep. This is a good time to give credit to Cassandra Claire for Ron's "Lucius and the Death Eaters, sounds like a rock band" line. I'd read Draco Dormiens, but it wasn't till later that I realised that was the source of that wisecrack of Ron's. It's an easy enough cheap shot at Lucius that I left it in, even though I had a feeling I'd read it somewhere. A reviewer at InkStain later pointed out the source to me.]
Back to unromantic sex, I'd originally intended a typical anal sex scene, but Draco being physically damaged tore that up.
'Just Add Water' and The Guru convinced me that a blunt, straight-for-the-cock mutual masturbation scene was just what I wanted. It fit their outgoing sexual natures, Ron's directness and Draco's easy sensuality.
I had a brief worry that a straight Ron might have a problem with sleeping with Draco, but once again he breezed right over it. Most of what I know about the attitudes of men in prison come from an ex-con turned Buddhist who was the big wheel in a state penitentiary; he was a former drug kingpin and ran the drug trade inside the prison. Arms the size of most people's thighs. Anyway, Ron's lack of concern comes from my second-hand knowledge of prison attitudes, and I'd forgotten about his lack of sexual outlets. Coming from a sexually charged (if messed up) scene would have his mind running in that direction -- yeah, he'd go for it.
I still don't know why Draco reciprocated, though it feels absolutely right to me. Draco being served instead of being used is the hook that got him to go along with it, but it was Draco who chose to turn it into a mutual relationship. There are a lot of undercurrents in this story that I'm still discovering and piecing together.
It always bothered me that I never knew exactly what Ron's big plan was. But then again, I don't think he knew at that point either.
I was leaping time and grateful how first person easily lets you jump from point in time to the next. At the end, pacing was everything. I had to cut two scenes I had scribbled towards the end (later published in the drabble series) which hurt let me tell you. But you gotta be ruthless. I had what I wanted, which was a tense sexual relationship that tore down both of their boundaries.
Beg Me For It and Nazism:
To answer a common question, Lucius Malfoy's rules for assigning responsibilities really are from the writings of an unknown Nazi SS officer. But though his Ministry of Magic is often compared to Nazism in reviews, it is not based on Nazi Germany. I know too little about Fascism to write that.
The Ministry power structure is actually an amalgamation of my experiences in corporate America - I worked for a multinational corporation for many years - and Buddhist religious politics. Both of which are corrupt. It's also informed by my study of the politics and power structures of cults, as I feel that Voldemort is a typical cult 'charismatic leader.' To move slightly off topic, the description of Percy and his chocolates at the end of 'Hey You' (the third part of the Beg Me For It series), his epiphany that he's not able to change corruption from within the system, is the most powerful and deeply personal scene I've yet written in fanfiction. That's why I often say that Percy is my MarySue.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-30 11:03 pm (UTC)I have a sort of related idea for a story, which I've never written 'cause I've never felt sufficiently grim:
It's December, maybe. Voldemort has just disappeared, and the Ministry's goons are paying a visit to Lucius Malfoy. He's fed them the line about Imperius. They don't believe him. He makes dark comments about fate worse than death, etc., etc. and eventually one of the goons says, "What, next you're going to tell us he raped your wife?" and Lucius says, "No, he raped me." And describes it in lurid and horrible detail, till the goons are essentially trying to hide under their chairs, and then he shows them the scars (magically burned in, of course.)
And then the goons leave and Lucius sits back and remembers how much he enjoyed it.
Re:
Date: 2004-01-30 11:15 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-01-30 11:55 pm (UTC)My comment below might be a little touchy. I'm a little close to the actuality of male rape: a boyfriend of mine when I was in junior high was being molested by his mother. Later, an adult boyfriend of mine (not
We can't distance ourselves from it because it's happening to men, or we start to sound like the politician whose advice to (female) rape victims was to "lay back and enjoy it."
Icarus
Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 02:49 am (UTC)I do know where you're coming from. The closest parallel in my own experience (as far as reversed male-female dynamic) involves domestic violence. Well. Except that my sister was date-raped about a year and a half ago and I'm still dealing with it. (http://www.doomchicken.net/~ursula/writing/poetry/dixitapollo.html)
Right. Is it just me, or do you and I have a particularly roller-coaster-y fandom interaction? I mean, I think it's because I think you're pretty damn cool, and since I got into fandom via parody rather than via actual fannishness I'm not used to controlling fangirly reactions in myself, but I keep imagining the little bunny ears going up-- and back-- and up-- and back.
You can think of them as perky and interested now :)
Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 03:00 am (UTC)Sorry about totally misunderstanding your story idea. I'm in a 'soapbox' mode right now because I'm writing these commentaries. I'm letting it rip on my own writing at the moment, putting it under a magnifying glass, and that carried over to my response to your idea. Normally I wouldn't've gone on for paragraphs.
Icarus
Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 04:44 am (UTC)Strange, though . . . I'd never describe myself as an intense personality. Mellow to a fault, more like. Except, of course, in classroom situations: I'm the kind of person who runs a discussion on the subtleties of translation into the ground but can't say three words to her boyfriend's parents to save her life. You're meeting the academic side of my personality, the bits that I channel when I write Hermione. And, yeah, I guess that could be intense.
Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 10:53 pm (UTC)Icarus
Re:
Date: 2004-02-01 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-30 11:30 pm (UTC)And then the goons leave and Lucius sits back and remembers how much he enjoyed it.
That's where you lose me. No. He wouldn't enjoy it. It's rape. The men I know who've been raped are even more messed up about it than women, because they have the extra weight of the humiliation, their loss of manliness. Lucius might tell one person. Quietly, unable to look at them. Never a group.
Rape is not sexy. I even say that in Beg Me For It: "this is not a turn on." Beg Me For It had that scene because it was needed for the story, not because I wanted to write something like that.
Icarus
Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 02:33 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 02:42 am (UTC)Very different story. Yeah. I can see that. *snickers* Sneaky of him, that's brilliant.
Icarus
Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 11:36 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-01 12:03 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-01 03:41 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 06:09 pm (UTC)Though it would cost you the twist ending, when/if you write this, you might want to intersperse flashbacks of the hot consensual sex in the middle of Lucius' comments to the aurors. Intercut between his descriptions of the horrible things done to him and the hot steamy BDSM it actually was.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-01 12:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-30 11:14 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-01-30 11:50 pm (UTC)By the way, I found it interesting how you used dialogue to advance the plot when you wrote 'In Want Of A Wife.' I wonder if that's common, or simply an individual stylistic choice. Because a lot of the outlines I write are really bits of dialogue, development. I've been gravitating more and more towards using dialogue to describe the plot I intend to write.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-01-31 01:02 am (UTC)Isis taught me how to use dialogue. I'm a scientific writer, have been for 25 year, and I never get to use dialogue. Too bad! I think most of what I read IRL would be massively improved by dialogue.
But Beg Me For It came together in so many ways. I think the first person viewpoint was particularly effective. Also, the way you handled the rape scene. I did not find it hot, although the bedroom scene I did. The rape scene left me so impressed by Ron's altruism, and Draco accepting that gift although it took him a bit of floundering, which is to be expected). To me, it was tender -- their connection -- and damn the world around them. Finally, Draco succumbs to Ron's advances in gratitude and acknowledgement of what Ron had done versus what he could have done.
I loved the sheer variety of the whole series. I like the reversion to plot in "Hey, You" - and I like the use of the Pink Floyd song to emphasize the theme of that story. To me, Pink Floyd epitomizes a lot of your themes. Plus the last scene with Percy is just so moving. Aaarrrggghh.
So where TF is the next part, huh???
no subject
Date: 2004-01-31 01:58 am (UTC)Yes. Exactly.
Finally, Draco succumbs to Ron's advances in gratitude and acknowledgement of what Ron had done versus what he could have done.
I think you've hit the nail on the head. I've never been able to see Draco's complicated motives here. He's not one to admit he's grateful, but he is. For him there's also a sense of being in Ron's debt tangled with a numb sense of disbelief that his ordeal in the dungeons is really over.
He was able to survive through disconnecting himself, being almost clinical about his body. But in trusting Ron he had to bring himself into the present experience enough to judge what to do, and that left him very open and vulnerable. Wow, he took a risk.
That Ron was worth his trust touched him on a profound level. It's more than gratitude I think, though it's not love at this point. Ron passed a staggeringly high test of character with flying colours. Draco knew it. So Ron became a constant, someone he could count on.
Malfoy was all right about sleeping with someone like that if that's what he wanted. Even though Ron was a Weasley.
Beg Me For It really is a story of how Ron and Draco manage to triumph over this horrible system, even if only in small personal ways.
So where TF is the next part, huh???
The next part is really hard for me to do, a real artistic stretch. It's pounding action from beginning to end, very military and may rate NC-17 for violence.
It's also an addition to the original flow of the story.
I intended to jump from Sex, Drugs And Death Eater Rock to Stand In the Ruins, only telling Ron's plan and the results of it in flashback. But a point
I realised she was right, that I'd be cheating the readers if I didn't. Hey You was written because I had to set up the players for SNAFU.
So I'm doing my best. But since it's the climax I'm not putting it out until it's 'right,' and it's taken a hell of a lot of research. I've had to learn about military operations and strategy from the ground up, and then translate it into Harry Potter. It's something that JKR didn't do very well, she didn't understand military operations when she wrote OotP.
I have to meet my first beta's high standards:
Just so you know, the part after SNAFU is already done. So when SNAFU's complete, two parts will be posted at once, completing the story in one swoop.
On an irrelevant note, while Beg Me For It doesn't have a theme song, the tune for Death Eater Rock is the album 'Blood Sugar Sex Magic,' Percy's theme for Hey You of course is obvious (Hey You and Comfortably Numb), and the theme for Scarred is the coda to 'Sir Sex Psycho' (after the phrase 'I love you...'). ;)
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-01-31 02:41 am (UTC)Let's see. First I had some pathetic memories about the Chambers Brother's song, Time Has Come Today, which took me right back to my misspent youth in Detroit. And which I've been singing for the past hour after reading your entry.
Then I remarked on this great comment of yours:
Ron passed a staggeringly high test of character with flying colours. Draco knew it. So Ron became a constant, someone he could count on.
This really summarizes Ron's character as you have drawn him. Yeah, the sex part is great, moving, and all that good stuff (really!), but this Ron is someone I can care a lot about. I haven't seen many good Rons (And I tend to want to off him in my writing because I can't seem to capture that altruistic quality about him.)
Then I slobbered a bit about your post yesterday about how to write a battle scene, because I am. Writing a battle scene. And this was terrific, timely, to the point. I put it in memory. I bookmarked it. I tattooed it on myself.
Then I mentioned that I'd just recently found all the pieces to BMFI universe on your site (Okay, I'm slow). (And noted that Netscape screws up your links horribly). And how wonderful I felt after Scarred to know the boys are together in their own wonderful reality, and loving it. So satisfying. In fact, it's the emotional component of your writing that hooks me -- the last few pages of Sex, Drugs... is typical of that. I think that the meaningful connection they've made in the final hours of the evening make the whole story more than just wank-fic. It's moving.
Finally I said something about how right Isis is (see comment about listening to your beta, because she's my beta, too). I anticipate that Ministry battle, because you've pointed us in that direction.
But I know I said it all better the first time.
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Date: 2004-01-30 11:45 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-01 09:19 pm (UTC)Icarus
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Date: 2004-01-31 01:04 am (UTC)Originally, I was constantly seeing 'Beg Me For It' rec'ed, and constantly looking at it and thinking 'Nope, sounds way too dark for me'. And then I got worn down, and I eventually read it. One of the better decisions I've ever made. Because... it isn't dark. It's hopeful. And Ron's POV is perfect.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-01 09:21 pm (UTC)Yes. It's a message of hope in the darkness.
Icarus
Wow.
Date: 2004-01-31 02:07 am (UTC)Re: Wow.
Date: 2004-02-01 09:27 pm (UTC)Icarus
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Date: 2004-01-31 04:40 am (UTC)Reading this has been very enlightening.
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Date: 2004-02-05 05:41 pm (UTC)Now that's interesting, because I even when I wrote it I didn't realise I was writing an AU. Someone said that it was likely to still be relevant by the time the other books a out. I certainly hope so.
Icarus
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Date: 2004-01-31 09:00 am (UTC)Hmm...this is sort of random, but you know what? I used to hate and loathe the character of Ron Weasley so badly before I read Beg Me For It. He just seemed too toady-ish, almost as if JKR was using him and Hermione as the "good" sidekicks, paralleling them to Crabbe and Golye, the "bad" sidekicks. He always seemed to have a hero-worship complex with Harry and was a complete ass to Hermione even though there's hints in cannon that he's at least interested in her.(Not that I'm an R/Hr shipper mind you, but I dislike people being assholes for just the sake of being them.)
But your Ron. Oh ho ho...*your* Ron is darkly humorous, snarkly amusing, charmingly charismatic in his own way, and willing to forgive when faced with such stark circumstances. I think it's the first person POV that puts the reader in touch with so many of his hidden qualities and quirks.
(Oh holy shite...I wrote an entire comment intelligently. Wow. ^^;;)
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Date: 2004-02-05 05:40 pm (UTC)I took Ron's personality and removed all the people that overshadowed him (Percy doesn't).
Then strangely enough, added someone who was such a sociopathic user - Lucius Malfoy - that he was utterly unbiased about Ron. He had his theory, categorized Ron correctly and gave him responsibilities that suited his abilities. Ron bloomed under his administration. That's the point of the first line: Lucius Malfoy was the best Minister of Magic we ever had. Despite the circumstances that brought it about, Ron was in a job that he liked and was good at. That gave him an easy sort of confidence that overcame 'sidekick-itis,' and enabled him to see he had something to offer by himself -- and fight back. Weird that Lucius Malfoy equipped his own enemy with the confidence to fight him, though if Draco hadn't shown up, Ron would have never acted on it. Ron figures the odds, but Draco's cocky enough to fight no matter what the odds.
Icarus
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Date: 2004-01-31 11:41 am (UTC)And you can't help it if we find it hot. Non-con Arena Sex is just plain kinky for some of us. ^_^
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Date: 2004-01-31 10:12 pm (UTC)If people find it hot -- great! I like it when people are turned on by my stuff. But it completely surprised me. Though I reread and go, heh, yeah I can see that. Don't let me talk anyone out of enjoying it!
That's happened to me and I love hearing about that phenomenon in others.
I'd read about that phenomenon, and I thought the writer was high. But now it's happened to me. The strongest occurrance of this, when the character grabbed me by the throat and completely changed the plot, was Percy in Sweet Hypocrisy... but that's another tale.
And I've never thought of Beg Me For It as a dark story, because of Ron's telling.
Particularly compared to your stuff. Until this story I thought of myself as exclusively a humour and romance writer actually, so to find myself writing something as dark as this was a surprise to me. Over the last year my boundaries about what I will and will not write have been dropping like dominos. I've even written chan now. O.o
Icarus :)
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Date: 2004-02-03 08:17 pm (UTC)That IS what makes this story unique--it doesn't fall into the dark hole of angst that most stories that talk about non-con do--this one is clever, subtle and darkly edged, but retains its sense of lightness nonetheless. This is NOT to say that the darker aspects don't work--they do--but I appreciate finding an author so skilled at the art of skiagraphy. What fun are shadows unless you inject a bit of light, yes? And this coming from a writer who kills at least one character in every fic. Never mind.)
Another thing that drew me into this fic like a monkey on crack was the re-vamped Ministry--I only wish you'd said more about it in this commentary--because MY GOD, the concept is brilliant and original and stunning. Aside from the fact that I kept stopping every few minutes to wipe my drool from Lucius Malfoy's shoes, I was gripped utterly by the ideas behind the whole situation--the politics, the war, the lovely, somehow silly and yet incredibly dangerous power-games that multiply in a place like this. I also kept wanting to see more of Percy (WITH LUCIUS! YES! WITH LUCIUS LUCIUS LUCIUS! *hits self*), because you did him so wonderfully (but then you always write Percy wonderfully, so eh).
What BMFI gave me, I think, was an entirely new view of fanon--because I'd never read not-angst that was, at the same time, not-humor and yet was, at times, definitely-smut. You didn't take the easy way out and darken this too much--OR lighten it too much--and you managed to provide each of us with something that suited our tastes. Sweet or sour, bitter or salt. (Laughter or defeat, sex or blood.)
:D :D
Yes. Well. And write more Percy/Draco damn it.
Spoiler for later chapters
Date: 2004-02-05 02:00 pm (UTC)Reading the sequels, the revelation that Draco was a virgin before his capture struck me like a punch in the gut. Just knocked the breath right out of me and left me astonished.
Did you know that from the beginning when you wrote "Beg Me", or did that only come to you as you were working on the sequel?
Re: Spoiler for later chapters
Date: 2004-02-05 05:08 pm (UTC)When that bit about Maternity charms came out, I could see why Draco was a virgin, all the political constraints. Since his family was so wealthy he had to be careful not to be trapped into marriage. If you can use a stray hair for Polyjuice, what can a little come be used for? Also, Slytherin was very political (obviously) and as their de facto leader he couldn't favour one person over another, or it would disrupt the power structure.
In fact, with the girls he'd have to hold out the hope that they might be the ones he'd someday marry, so he could play one against the other. If he revealed he was gay, that would mess up those hopes, and he'd lose some of his hold on the Slytherin girls. Give them leverage they could use against him.
Sex with someone he liked was too great a risk.
He could fool around in a variety of ways (so he wouldn't have that 'virgin' label) so long as he didn't seem serious or take any chances. But the only way he could really have had sex was with say a prostitute. As far as Draco was concerned he wasn't that desperate yet. He knew that once his father married him off he'd be free to do as he liked. He didn't have too long to wait till he could have a whole string of gay lovers on the side. He'd have to be careful, but as a married man he'd be free of the sexual politics.
But then the war separated him from his father and that way of life. But, because there was a war on and he was a little busy and didn't trust his wartime colleagues. So there really wasn't a chance after that.
Icarus
Re: Spoiler for later chapters
Date: 2004-02-05 05:57 pm (UTC)I only hope he or Ron have the chance to get thorough revenge upon Crabbe & Goyle...