I was so disappointed when this wacko didn't define his criteria

[icarus]

Wacko!

The journal's been deleted (thank goodness) I believe for the threats made to epicycle and other slash writers (and non-writers which is rather odd), but the comments are terribly amusing.

Kissaki had a wonderful question about just what wacko's criteria was, but wacko never answered. Darn. I was so looking forward to a theological debate. (Icarus' former debating opponents quiver slightly... even those who won are slow to recover from the experience.)

I'll have you know that epicycle is guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Her crimes:

- Totally re-writing Draco Malfoy, in such a compelling way the entire fanon has been infected. He's so damned sexy, no one remembers he's a brat dammit!
- Completely re-writing Harry Potter, in such a way that half the fanon forgets - Harry's a nice guy!
- Using cliched, implausible, rip-off plot devices... evil magic swords (Elric anyone?)... the ever-present polyjuice... good god, the blood bond again... and pulling it off so damned well, you feel guilty about it when you remember, yes I have heard this before. Shit. I've written this before.
More crimes:

- Abusing Ron! And that's a crime in and of itself. (Icarus looks shifty, recalling the, er, recent Percy/Ron drabble...)
- Making Hermione... a sought after sex object by Harry and Draco?
- Blaise Zambini, the perfect sultry evil redhead you want to strangle. If that's not a self-insert I will eat my hat. (Which, fortunately, is made of lettuce.)
- Fucking endless cliff-hangers!
- Not enough transitions!
- Over the top action that leaves you numb from the horror of the character's lives... poison, dozens of evil overlords, fights, missing persons (I'm going to rename Draco Veritas 'Check the Milk Carton'), friendships destroyed, almost sex (thank God Ron at least got laid), death plots...

(bluebird of happiness shrivels up and dies.)

- Fucking endless cliff-hangers! (Waitaminute, I said that, didn't I?)

She should be shot. But she has to finish Draco Veritas ('Check the Milk Carton') first.



A note to those who dislike Cassandra Claire:

Yes, yes, I know. There have been a number of unpleasant incidences involving Cassandra Claire and other prominent writers in fandom. Each time, I mark a note in my book, and observe that there are no repeat offences with the other writers, but 'Cassandra problems' keep turning up. Hmm.

There are many people whom I like, but I gag when I read their stories.
There others whom I think I probably wouldn't like, but I read their stories avidly, not caring in the least.

For the record:
The Draco Trilogy is not a patishe. But I still enjoy it.
One does not give bad reviews to other authors just because they didn't like your story.

I understand. I have flamed good writers when they've irritated me.


I'm very nice to the hopelessly bad writers. If they're truly awful, I don't humiliate them further by reading their crap. Some have reviewed my stories, then asked me to read and review theirs. Sure. I've read, but I can't be so cruel as to give my honest opinion, which is by nature unfiltered. If there is no hope, there is no hope.

I'm relatively gentle with the developing writers. I beat them up a little on what needs to be worked on, but overall I'm pleasant.

But I'm ruthless with the good writers. The bar is higher with them.
I've flamed (alright, harsh con-crit) Cassandra Claire for her cliffhangers (while laughing hysterically at the 'Snape doing a rhumba' image), sent Minx good review after good review for her phenomenal sex scenes - than told her honestly when I thought her OC's didn't work - I ripped Sushi for not indicating who's talking dammit and after that terrific Harry/Snape banter, too! I'm currently wincing over a beloved friend's story, which was fantastic but now she's drifting off into so much symbolism the plot and even the characters motives are lost in it.

I always send my bad reviews in private email though.

I think it's important, so the writer isn't put on the defensive by being embarrassed in a public forum. When the critic is a publicly recognized 'name' like 'Cybele' or 'Cassandra Claire' or 'Cedar' it is especially important to do so, because their negative opinion carries so much weight.

Comments

[dontgiveahoot.livejournal.com]

I'll have you know that epicycle is guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

*makes note* Indeed she is. I don't know why on earth so many people think she's so great. I really don't.

- Totally re-writing Draco Malfoy, in such a compelling way the entire fanon has been infected. He's so damned sexy, no one remembers he's a brat dammit!

AMEN TO THAT! PREACH IT, SISTER! *heh heh* No, seriously - fanon!Draco has gotten completely out of hand - if I read one more poor-angsty-and-abused!Draco fic, I am going to sit the author down, tape their eyelids open and force them to actually read the Draco scenes in books - CAREFULLY - until they say "OMG Draco didn't really do/say that, he couldn't, that's... not nice!" (NO... really? You don't SAY...)

- Completely re-writing Harry Potter, in such a way that half the fanon forgets - Harry's a nice guy!

Again, amen. I mean, the occasional dark!Harry fic is interesting, especially in an AU or a drabble / ficlet / other short piece, but he's not consistantly nasty. In fact, I think the nastiest thing he's ever *consciously* done is laugh at Neville asking Hermione to the Yule Ball. Otherwise, the worst he's ever really done (again, consciously or deliberately) is stew on stuff someone (usually Malfoy) has said to *him* first, and occasionally say something cross. Yes, there was the Aunt Marge incident, but
a) he was provoked severely by Aunt Marge, and
b) he did NOT do it deliberately - his magic reacted to his rage at what Aunt Marge was saying. Apart from raising his voice, he kept his anger remarkably under control for someone of his age.

Abusing Ron! And that's a crime in and of itself.

Are you sick of me saying amen yet? I understand that not every character is going to appeal to everyone - after all, if I met Draco in real life I'd drown him, and I don't think much of Ginny either. People are allowed to hate Ron if they want. But what I CAN'T stand is when people hate Ron, but never have any decent reasons beyond 'he's just a git!' or 'Oh, the way he acted in GoF, duh!' These people conveniently forget that in PoA, Ron stood up on a broken leg so that he could get between Harry and a man whom he believed to be a mass murderer, all in order to protect Harry.
"Ron, however, spoke to Black. 'If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill us, too!' he said fiercely, though the effort of standing up had drained him of still more colour, and he swayed slightly as he spoke." (PoA, pg 249, Australian paperback edition.)

That's the action of a git? Dammit, I could do with a few more gits like that for friends! And the GoF incident - yes, that was not fair of him. I don't deny that. Ron's not a perfect human being, and he felt betrayed - and so therefore he lashed out unfairly at Harry, who, hurt in turn, turned away in anger.

- Making Hermione... a sought after sex object by Harry and Draco?

Argh... no... kill me now... Hermione is many things, and a lot of them are GOOD things. But a sex object? No no no.

- Blaise Zambini, the perfect sultry evil redhead you want to strangle. If that's not a self-insert I will eat my hat.

You won't have to eat your hat. And it's 'Zabini' - no M. It is spelled in the first book's Sorting Ceremony as 'Zabini, Blaise' so the wrong spelling is really not acceptable.

I'm relatively gentle with the developing writers. I beat them up a little on what needs to be worked on, but overall I'm pleasant.

But I'm ruthless with the good writers. The bar is higher with them.

Exactly. If someone's capable of doing *brilliantly*, and they're lazy and only produce something 'acceptable', then you're not doing them any favours by letting them get away with it. Crack down, by all means.

Just my 2 cents of rambling for the day.

Jen / Quoth the Raven

Demons of stupidity

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Hey, I like your new icon.

Actually, I enjoy Cassandra Claire. She pulls it off, her writing is marvellous. But I'm aware of the shortcomings of her stories. As I devour them avidly. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. I'm such a canon!fiend. ;)

I've Zambini over and over again. Everytime I read Zabini I think 'Zamboni,' complete with ice scraper and fat guy in a scarf driving it.

Hooray for Ron! One of these days someone will have to major book-length story with Ron as the main character.

~Icarus