Moving to a filtered friendslist.
Feb. 12th, 2004 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusWhen I first started this journal, I had about thirty people on my friendslist and we knew each other, kept up on each other's lives. Some of us had chatted online or exchanged emails and compliments over each other's stories.
It looks like I need to go to a filtered friendslist.
Wake up call number one. About two months ago, I posted some personal complaints, and someone called someone else a name in my journal. It turned into a big public deal. I've refused to censor myself in my own damned journal.
Wake up call number two. At another point I posted a complaint about my boyfriend and got all sorts of unsolicited advice from people. All right. It's my journal, I want to be able to able to complain and I don't want to have to censor myself. But I learned the lesson about not leaving comments open.
Wake up call number three. Then I posted a complaint about essays that turned into a bitter war with someone who to me, is a complete and total stranger - they're not even on my friendslist. Everything they said bespoke a complete ignorance me and even my past posts. It was a huge waste of time. But it's my damned journal and I want to be able to write what I like.
In a discussion with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
machiavellian I mentioned, "Well I have a very public journal."
And that's the problem, isn't it?
People friend me and read this journal not for me but for the stories and the occasional essay I put out. Which is my main use for this journal after all -- just read my user information. I've always had a policy of friending everyone who friends me, but most people friend me for the stories.
I haven't wanted to do this, damn it, but I don't want to end my friending policy (I've met some interesting people that way) and I'll never keep up two journals.
So this weekend my personal stuff, school rants,wildernessguru, etc., will go to a filtered friendslist.
Drop a comment if you want to be on the filtered friendslist. My feelings won't be hurt if you just want Harry Potter stories because to me that means hey, you like my stories.
ETA:wildernessguru says, "No matter what way you say it this is censorship." He's absolutely right. It sucks that I have to take this step. But battles over what is essentially entertainment for me are worse.
It looks like I need to go to a filtered friendslist.
Wake up call number one. About two months ago, I posted some personal complaints, and someone called someone else a name in my journal. It turned into a big public deal. I've refused to censor myself in my own damned journal.
Wake up call number two. At another point I posted a complaint about my boyfriend and got all sorts of unsolicited advice from people. All right. It's my journal, I want to be able to able to complain and I don't want to have to censor myself. But I learned the lesson about not leaving comments open.
Wake up call number three. Then I posted a complaint about essays that turned into a bitter war with someone who to me, is a complete and total stranger - they're not even on my friendslist. Everything they said bespoke a complete ignorance me and even my past posts. It was a huge waste of time. But it's my damned journal and I want to be able to write what I like.
In a discussion with
machiavellian I mentioned, "Well I have a very public journal." And that's the problem, isn't it?
People friend me and read this journal not for me but for the stories and the occasional essay I put out. Which is my main use for this journal after all -- just read my user information. I've always had a policy of friending everyone who friends me, but most people friend me for the stories.
I haven't wanted to do this, damn it, but I don't want to end my friending policy (I've met some interesting people that way) and I'll never keep up two journals.
So this weekend my personal stuff, school rants,
wildernessguru, etc., will go to a filtered friendslist. Drop a comment if you want to be on the filtered friendslist. My feelings won't be hurt if you just want Harry Potter stories because to me that means hey, you like my stories.
ETA:
wildernessguru says, "No matter what way you say it this is censorship." He's absolutely right. It sucks that I have to take this step. But battles over what is essentially entertainment for me are worse.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 08:50 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-12 09:25 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 08:52 pm (UTC)I'd like to be filtered, if you don't mind. I may not comment a lot, but I do feel as though I've gotten to know you a little bit.
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Date: 2004-02-12 09:26 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 08:54 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-12 09:27 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 08:55 pm (UTC)Well, no. Censorship would be saying "you can't say that" to either yourself or to another.
All you're doing is limiting who you let into your "house" to see your private "stuff." That's not censorship, that's privacy. There is no earthly reason why you have to let the whole world wander into your private space, after all.
That being said, if you want to let me see your private stuff, I'm happy to see it/respond to it if I think of something to say.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-12 09:29 pm (UTC)... who says this sounds like a good idea. *nods* *Adds to list.*
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 08:56 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-12 09:31 pm (UTC)Icarus
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From:no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:00 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-12 09:31 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:00 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-12 09:34 pm (UTC)Icarus
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Date: 2004-02-12 09:01 pm (UTC)Bottom line -- your journal, your space, your outlet. Ergo, yours to do as you will with. As you said, it's entertainment... not the place where you want to fight battles.
I'd love to be on the filtered friendslist, if I may: I friended you for the stories, IIRC, but lately I've been reading your anecdotes and putting the stories aside for later! Must remedy that. :) And comment a little more so you know who I am.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 05:10 am (UTC)I've been doing that with my friendslist, too! Welcome aboard. *adds*
Icarus
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From:no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:04 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 05:28 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:04 pm (UTC)I want to be filtered too! Please.
And I'm only using my Dumbledore icon because
Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 05:31 am (UTC)You know, these personality fragments are getting smaller and smaller, aren't they?
Icarus
Gah!
Date: 2004-02-12 09:04 pm (UTC)I'd like to be on the filtered friends list because I do enjoy reading your other stories and essays and opinions (although I don't always comment) but I totally understand if you decide to leave me off.
Re: Gah!
Date: 2004-02-13 05:34 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:05 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 05:35 am (UTC)*adds*
Icarus
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From:Jumping in line
Date: 2004-02-12 09:05 pm (UTC)Re: Jumping in line
Date: 2004-02-13 05:36 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:10 pm (UTC)But, I have really enjoyed reading your day to day posts. If you don't mind, I would like to be on your filtered friends list. I promise to keep all relationship advice to myself.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:13 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 05:57 am (UTC)*adds*
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:16 pm (UTC)I'd love to be on your filtered list, if that's okay. I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts...fandom and RL related.
*hugs*
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Date: 2004-02-13 06:23 am (UTC)You bet it is. I'm thrilled that you read it. Yeah, I guess I rebel against doing even this much.
*adds*
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:16 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 06:46 am (UTC)*adds* Absolutely. I think having had a *real* life, university doesn't feel like you're faced with endless options, and some things that would have seemed important to me ten years ago, I know really aren't.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:17 pm (UTC)I enjoy reading the not-HP stuff too. I also offer unsolicited advice all the time, but I try to remember to note it as such and harbor no expectation that the reader will accept it, and I certainly don't get into lengthy confrontations about it. ;)
Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 09:03 am (UTC)You mean like screening all the comments on the subject? ;)
I figured if I could open up this can of worms if I mentioned it here, you know everyone would read this then go back and read and comment on that. I headed that off at the pass.
Offering unsolicited advice is acceptable if you promise not to hire Guido and Raoul to break my kneecaps if I don't follow it. *adds*
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:18 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 07:49 am (UTC)*adds*
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:18 pm (UTC)So, if you don't mind a mom-type who likes your stories, I'm game to be on the filtered list.
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Date: 2004-02-14 07:50 am (UTC)*adds*
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:20 pm (UTC)I read stuff based on both HP and Real life.
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Date: 2004-02-14 07:51 am (UTC)Right on. *adds*
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:22 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 07:52 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:23 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 07:54 am (UTC)Squee! I was so glad to see you read it.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-02-12 09:26 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 07:56 am (UTC)*adds*
Icarus
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