The cure to depression is... chocolate.

I like this amnesty meme that's everywhere.

I now realise that most of my frustration and depression stems from a conversation with a Buddhist friend who viciously implied I'm wasting my time writing and going to school. He's a lama and knew just how to say it to really make it hurt and fester, and I've had a bad time with both writing and school ever since. But he hit below the belt because he's pissed that I've abandoned his Buddhist projects. Frankly I was rather sarcastic about their raising their prices for teachings, and said that Buddhism is for the rich.

There are two theories of US Buddhism:
A) charge a lot, make it nice, and use the extra money to grow and publish.
B) go cheap as you can and make it accessible for everyone.

He's from theory A. I ascribe to theory B. In fact I think that theory A is unethical and contrary to the Buddha's principles, as well as bordering on and encouraging corruption (the official Buddhist term is Worldly Dharma). Of course the most successful temples ascribe to theory A. That does not mean they are the most pure. I've left his group over this issue.

So his dig is still eating at me successfully, but at least I know what's going on.

I'm sorry that I didn't leave comments open yesterday. I just needed to gripe, and there were too many things going on in the sidelines for my fandom friends to really help.

Amnesty fic 1: Snape and Percy

Alas, my failed SSFF fic. I could never get it off the ground. For some reason I fell out of love with Snape once OotP came out. JKR's characterisation is just not as nasty as it once was. A pity.

( Dragon's Eye Cave, Snape/Percy, PG (sorry) and rather eerie. Proof that my Percy obsession predates Interimminister. ;) )

Amnesty fic 2: now *Harry* and Percy

Yeah. I tried to finish this little tidbit. Warning for coitus interruptus.

( A Night Out - NC-17 - Harry/Percy. First time fic. )

Amnesty fic 3: Er. Draco and Percy.

Is there still any question that I am Percy-obsessed? Yes, switchknife, I did start to write a follow-up to Zen Taxi. But I got interrupted mid-sex and could never pick up the thread of it again. Warning: coitus interruptus.

( Naughty Secrets - NC-17 - PWP and really, really far too short. Draco/Percy )

Amnesty fic 4: Now we have Lucius and Percy.

More Percy, anyone?

Geeze, I have a lot of unfinished Percy fics.

This one was written for Dana, but the notes seem to have been lost. I can't find my notebook anywhere. That notebook also has my outline for SNAPE MANOR. It's a slow build romance, NC-17 (but not in this part) and I still feel the muse for this one. I think if I find the notes I'll be able to finish it. Here's a cookie for you, Dana.

( Dana's Fic - NC-17 - Lucius/Percy. Romance, slow-build. )

Wilderness Guru approved. Defining Sexuality.

A friend was struggling with the question of sexual identity, and wildernessguru really has a handle on this. I read my response to him, and he liked it. So I'm posting it here:

I've been round and round this question with wildernessguru, and my conclusion is that sexuality is com-pli-ca-ted. He's in forties now, and is fairly clear about what he likes and dislikes. He looks at the labels and kinda goes, "Hmm." Instead he just knows what he likes:

Femme boys.
Aggressive women (especially in conservative business suits - rowr!)
Buzz cuts.
Women's bob haircuts.
Hearing dirty talk from either a Daddy or a Dominant woman.
Sex, in all its varieties.
Women who are supportive and loving.
Well-dressed classy black men with deep sensuous voices.
Men with 'swimmer's build.'
Transvestites who love their femininity (and ideally pass, but that seems to be second).
Voluptuous women with large breasts.
Women's clothes.
Being spanked.
Having his hair stroked or brushed.
The feel of a woman's breast pressed against him.
People who are 'straight up,' who have integrity.

I'm still learning the list and it shifts over time as he experiments and finds something else he likes, but I think his approach is pretty good. It better matches what sex is really like, accomodates changing tastes and leaves room for him to be an individual and not a member of a certain group.

It's smart. He says 'I like this' rather than 'I am this.' He's avoided most of the neurosis that seem to go with defining your sexuality. Because if you tried to define him based on that list, you'd have to say he's a submissive cross-dressing bi-sexual with a hair fetish and a preference for dominant overweight women, whose sexual experience is mostly with men. And that just takes a long time to say. Not to mention it might not be entirely true from one week to the next.

Be an individual. Don't try to create a new type of normal for yourself.

This has been a social service message brought to you from The Guru.