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Live Journal Etiquette
Feb. 16th, 2004 10:43 amToday I told Wilderness Guru about an LJ friend whose cat just had kittens. I expected a squeal of delight. Instead he asked, "When is she going to have her kitty spayed?" When I didn't know he urged:
"You should tell her that she should have mamma kitty spayed."
What? No!
This is exactly why I'm locking my journal entries. People don't know the difference between a thread in a public forum (he spends a lot of time on backpacker.com) and an open journal entry.
The difference between a Journal and a Forum.
An open Live Journal entry and a thread in a Forum are both:
a) public
b) available for comments
There the similiarity ends.
A Forum is a place for public discussion. You place a post there with the expectation for debate and opposition. You're posting for strangers. Religious wackos and people who hate your point of view are to be expected. The purpose of it being public is to draw out others' (hopefully intelligent) responses.
A Journal is a place for personal thoughts and musings. You have a friendlist and it's called that for a reason. While these people might not be all that close, everyone here knows it's a journal and what's posted is to a degree personal. Religious wacko-reactions or arguments that 'you should spay your cats!' are inappropriate. The purpose of it being public is simply to air ones views in a kind of anonymity.
The Forum is a kind of pulpit.
The Journal is a gathering of friends.
Even where your friendslist disagrees or a debate is welcome - a lively discussion can be a welcome addition to a party - the etiquette that applies is not that of the pulpit, but that of being a guest. A guest at a party will always introduce themselves first and check to see if discussion is appropriate. Note: often a topic will be deliberately opened for debate. But the journal owner will say so.
Introducing oneself.
An introduction does not consist of a listing of qualifications to support your argument ("I'm a cat lover and I work for such-and-such animal shelter!"). That's how one acts in a Forum. An introduction is, "Hi I've been reading your journal/saw this posted at my friend's journal/I love cats too."
The feeler.
Then, you put out a feeler to be sure debate is welcome. The more of a stranger you are to the host, the more circumspect you should be. If it helps, visualise the music, the chatting guests, the hors d'oeuvres. For the socially inexperienced, the feeler is, "I love kittens, but I've had my kitties spayed..." followed by the 'generic safe intro' "...I always worry about kittens finding homes." This opens the topic without crossing into dangerous ground. Then you can watch the response. If it's negative, it's best to back away.
Beware the trap of imitating the host's best friend. If the best friend starts in with "darling, I really think you ought to spay your kitty" that is not an opportunity for you to jump in and add your two cents. The person who has a closer relationship with your host can say things you cannot.
If you don't know who's the best friend, that's a good sign you're a stranger. Random bombast, particularly from a gate-crasher, is rude. Though again it's completely appropriate to a thread in a public Forum.
Ultimately, the Forum belongs to a disinterested third party.
The Journal is the premises of your host.
"You should tell her that she should have mamma kitty spayed."
What? No!
This is exactly why I'm locking my journal entries. People don't know the difference between a thread in a public forum (he spends a lot of time on backpacker.com) and an open journal entry.
The difference between a Journal and a Forum.
An open Live Journal entry and a thread in a Forum are both:
a) public
b) available for comments
There the similiarity ends.
A Forum is a place for public discussion. You place a post there with the expectation for debate and opposition. You're posting for strangers. Religious wackos and people who hate your point of view are to be expected. The purpose of it being public is to draw out others' (hopefully intelligent) responses.
A Journal is a place for personal thoughts and musings. You have a friendlist and it's called that for a reason. While these people might not be all that close, everyone here knows it's a journal and what's posted is to a degree personal. Religious wacko-reactions or arguments that 'you should spay your cats!' are inappropriate. The purpose of it being public is simply to air ones views in a kind of anonymity.
The Forum is a kind of pulpit.
The Journal is a gathering of friends.
Even where your friendslist disagrees or a debate is welcome - a lively discussion can be a welcome addition to a party - the etiquette that applies is not that of the pulpit, but that of being a guest. A guest at a party will always introduce themselves first and check to see if discussion is appropriate. Note: often a topic will be deliberately opened for debate. But the journal owner will say so.
Introducing oneself.
An introduction does not consist of a listing of qualifications to support your argument ("I'm a cat lover and I work for such-and-such animal shelter!"). That's how one acts in a Forum. An introduction is, "Hi I've been reading your journal/saw this posted at my friend's journal/I love cats too."
The feeler.
Then, you put out a feeler to be sure debate is welcome. The more of a stranger you are to the host, the more circumspect you should be. If it helps, visualise the music, the chatting guests, the hors d'oeuvres. For the socially inexperienced, the feeler is, "I love kittens, but I've had my kitties spayed..." followed by the 'generic safe intro' "...I always worry about kittens finding homes." This opens the topic without crossing into dangerous ground. Then you can watch the response. If it's negative, it's best to back away.
Beware the trap of imitating the host's best friend. If the best friend starts in with "darling, I really think you ought to spay your kitty" that is not an opportunity for you to jump in and add your two cents. The person who has a closer relationship with your host can say things you cannot.
If you don't know who's the best friend, that's a good sign you're a stranger. Random bombast, particularly from a gate-crasher, is rude. Though again it's completely appropriate to a thread in a public Forum.
Ultimately, the Forum belongs to a disinterested third party.
The Journal is the premises of your host.
