Japanese final

All my grades have been screwed.

I got my Japanese final chapter test back. My worst fears are confirmed. An 87. The mistakes I made were primarily easy, mostly stress/panic.

I did my oral presentation today. Fucked it up because I just didn't have enough time to work on it and my confidence level was just not there. I had two other finals, plus I had to work this week. That's 15% of my grade.

The fact that it was embarrassing and humiliating was just the cherry on top. (I normally love oral presentations and am great at them.)

My Philosophy final last night, I think I did fine on the first half of the test. The final essay question... *shakes head.* Because Philosophy was backed right up to my work schedule I often had to turn in assignments late. So I got dinged on four out of fourteen written assignments. Maybe a B+. Maybe.

My Law class... should have been an easy A. But earlier in the quarter I had to miss classes to get the Philosophy homework done because there was no room in my schedule for it elsewhere. I intended to make up for it with the extra credit assignment, but never had time to do it. So that screwed up that grade. Maybe I have a B. The teacher said I did participate a lot, so that helps.

wildernessguru who's been here, watching how I use my time said, "This was the best you could have done. You've been run ragged honey, and you haven't had any time."

Compare this to last year, when I didn't have to work during school: straight A's.

All you guys who have your school paid for by your parents, or live in countries that provide free college... don't talk to me right now.

Okay, slightly less depressed.

The grades I've got are the grades I've got, and nothing can change them now. So there's no point worrying about it.

My main concern is that the I've been so tired and strung-out these last few weeks that a lot of what I've studied hasn't 'gone in.' I really haven't learned very much.

The machine-gun style of tutoring is the problem. I spoke with the head of tutoring and she says, yeah, it's intense upstairs. She has people run screaming into the streets after two days. It's a problem that we only have a half hour per student, but she says that they've no choice, there's just such a high demand for tutors. I'm taking her up on her suggestion to not even try to get through an entire essay in a half-hour. She says, "Oh, they want you to go through the whole thing, but you can't do that."

Oh. I have been.

Good.

If I reduce my hours and hold the line with the students, show them their main issues but they have to finish out the essay, I may survive next quarter.

(no subject)

Oh. Got an email. This was timely:


Dalai Lama Quote of the Week


When we talk about patience or tolerance, we should understand that there are many degrees, starting from a simple tolerance, such as being able to bear a certain amount of heat and cold, progressing toward the highest level of patience, which is the type of patience and tolerance found in the great practitioners, the Bodhisattvas on the high levels of the Buddhist path. Since patience or tolerance comes from a certain ability to remain firm and steadfast, to not be overwhelmed by the adverse situations or conditions that one faces, one should not see tolerance or patience as a sign of weakness, but rather as a sign of strength coming from a deep ability to remain steadfast and firm. We can generally define patience or tolerance in these terms. We find that even in being able to tolerate a certain degree of physical hardship, like a hot or cold climate, our attitude makes a big difference.

If we have the realization that tolerating immediate hardship can have long-term beneficial consequences, we are more likely to be able to tolerate everyday hardships. Similarly, in the case of those on the Bodhisattva levels of the path practicing high levels of tolerance and patience, intelligence also plays a very important role as a complementary factor.

-- His Holiness the Dalai Lama from Healing Anger: The Power of Patience from a Buddhist Perspective, published by Snow Lion Publications