5pm and I'm getting cold feet.

I'm getting cold feet about going to the New Year's party tonight.

Yes, it would waste a $25 ticket. But staying home warm and safe tonight seems like a much better plan than going out alone. I'd have to drive, I'd have to park, it's cold out, I'd have to walk through unfamiliar and faintly dodgy neighborhoods in high heels by myself.

It's not sounding like fun to me right now.

I could get brie and fine chocolate and just keep my usual New Year's tradition of parking in front of the TV. My ex has his plans and I don't have to hear all about them. I can avoid his calls all week and instead do something fun tomorrow, like go ice skating.

That sounds infinitely more fun than going to a party in DC tonight.

I put on the party dress just now and I don't feel happy.

I feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.

I went to google maps and planned out my route. Called the place and found where I could park. The parking's farther away than I'd like, and I didn't like the area where I'd have to walk through.

I planned this poorly, this is stupid, and I think I'm taking this party dress off and hitting Whole Foods instead.

Cold feet part II

I've now talked to a friend, my aunt, and my ex. I was kind of hoping that someone would talk me into going, and one friend did, but mostly folks are in total agreement with cold little toesies:

My ex: "This is like you and that ferris wheel. You hate heights. You white-knuckle it all the way around. I don't know why you'd go."

My aunt: "You don't know anybody there? I don't blame you. It's really cold out tonight."

I miss Seattle and want to go home.