Weighing in on the great age debate.
Jul. 23rd, 2004 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusI'm tired, so this is going to be brief.
Regarding the current age debate... I'll lock what stories I have to for the sake of legality, but I don't believe sex automatically means inappropriate for preteens and teenagers. Theme is what determines what is difficult for those "underage" to understand.
So I recommend my NC-17 Skinny Dipping for teens and preteens, because it is a very equal and generous encounter and deals with issues that are relevant to teenagers. I'd recommend both the R and NC-17 version Primer to the Dark Arts for the same reasons. Rising Sun is quite explicit, a very high R, but is perfect for teenagers who are constantly being fed an overly idealised, romantic notion of sex.
But I don't recommend my R-rated A Moment of Sin for teens and preteens, because of the cynical "using" world of prostitution, and the confusing moral gray areas involved in Snape's decision. Nor would I recommend Beg Me For It -- again, less because of the sex (though here some of it is non-con) and more because of the questionable decisions on the part of several persons. The fourth part (still in the works) SNAFU, has very little sex and may only rate an R by some standards. But, with the violence in it, that one I would object to teens reading.
An Elegant Man is one that I would lock because of the casual attitude about infidelity by Lucius.
On the other hand I have no difficulty with teens reading the Harry/Snape/Ron three-way in Unexpected Guest, because it's a very positive encounter and... it's just sex.
If you want your kids to have your values I suggest you:
a) teach them your values, and
b) monitor their internet habits if you're so concerned.
I think a) is more effective. There is no difference between my parents values and my own on this subject.
But don't expect me to conform to your values because you're kids are roaming wild on the internet. Whose kids are they?
My standards are my own, and I don't feel they should be imposed on others. Likewise, I don't feel anyone else's standards should be imposed upon me. Those of you who think the Silence of the Lambs is more appropriate for kids than a fluffy sex-romp with full frontal nudity -- I disagree.
Regarding the current age debate... I'll lock what stories I have to for the sake of legality, but I don't believe sex automatically means inappropriate for preteens and teenagers. Theme is what determines what is difficult for those "underage" to understand.
So I recommend my NC-17 Skinny Dipping for teens and preteens, because it is a very equal and generous encounter and deals with issues that are relevant to teenagers. I'd recommend both the R and NC-17 version Primer to the Dark Arts for the same reasons. Rising Sun is quite explicit, a very high R, but is perfect for teenagers who are constantly being fed an overly idealised, romantic notion of sex.
But I don't recommend my R-rated A Moment of Sin for teens and preteens, because of the cynical "using" world of prostitution, and the confusing moral gray areas involved in Snape's decision. Nor would I recommend Beg Me For It -- again, less because of the sex (though here some of it is non-con) and more because of the questionable decisions on the part of several persons. The fourth part (still in the works) SNAFU, has very little sex and may only rate an R by some standards. But, with the violence in it, that one I would object to teens reading.
An Elegant Man is one that I would lock because of the casual attitude about infidelity by Lucius.
On the other hand I have no difficulty with teens reading the Harry/Snape/Ron three-way in Unexpected Guest, because it's a very positive encounter and... it's just sex.
If you want your kids to have your values I suggest you:
a) teach them your values, and
b) monitor their internet habits if you're so concerned.
I think a) is more effective. There is no difference between my parents values and my own on this subject.
But don't expect me to conform to your values because you're kids are roaming wild on the internet. Whose kids are they?
My standards are my own, and I don't feel they should be imposed on others. Likewise, I don't feel anyone else's standards should be imposed upon me. Those of you who think the Silence of the Lambs is more appropriate for kids than a fluffy sex-romp with full frontal nudity -- I disagree.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-24 01:20 pm (UTC)Indecency laws are based on "community standards," which is utterly impossible to make any kind of sense of on the Internet (where one reader might be in the Netherlands and the next in Saudi Arabia). Do we conform to the most repressive standard to be on the safe side? Sorry, no. That would violate my core values, and I'm not willing to do that. Do we try to make a hodgepodge based on our own values and "common sense"? That varies so much from person to person and place to place, I think we're all better off acknowledging we don't really have real control over who reads our stuff, at all.
I can't agree with you more on the role of parents to teach kids their values, although it doesn't always work out. My own sexual values are quite different from my parents' (though not my political ones or our collective low opinion of censorship), but over time we've come to respect and understand each other and agree to disagree. Kids do grow up to become Other People, after all--that's kind of the point of having them--but I can see how that could be very hard for parents to accept. However, accept it they must, and the time they must begin to start accepting it is in adolescence, when kids are very interesting in exploring who they might want to become and getting out from under the parental wing. They have to be allowed to practice independence at that age; they need psychic privacy, and they need viewpoints that come from outside the family/school gated community. It's normal and healthy for them to have them, IMO.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-25 06:58 pm (UTC)Thanks. I weighed in on the debate with much trepidation.
Indecency laws are based on "community standards"
The whole concept is very "small town" and just can't apply to a larger world.
I can't agree with you more on the role of parents to teach kids their values, although it doesn't always work out.
Yes, that's true. It's not something you can control or expect that your kids will agree. But if you take the time to explain your thinking, there's at least a chance of understanding and a meeting of minds. At the very least you will end with, "well, you may not agree, but while you're in my house you will respect my rules." Just making up rules without explaining the point behind them -- which is what people do with these "community standards" -- is begging for people to ignore them. Everything has to come from principles. Or it just doesn't fly.
Icarus