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[icarus]

Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

Guiltlessness on the Buddhist Path

Guilt is one of the greatest hindrances to our progress, both in the spiritual path and in everyday life. We have a strong sense of feeling unworthy, not good enough to make progress in doing the things we need to do. From the Buddhist point of view guilt is extra-strength egotism. By reducing the tendency to feel guilty, we can free our minds to be more alert, intelligent and agile.

Ah.

Comments

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It depends on how deeply you've entrenched yourself in it, how much you've invested in feeling guilty. :D

As soon as you make a mistake, there's a four-step process:

1 - Recognise, whoops. If you don't see it's a mistake, or you pretend that, oh, sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend is okay, you'll just keep doing it. (Some people who feel horribly guilty say, "well, I'm this kind of person, so, fuck it." Which doesn't do any good either.) This leads to -

2 - Regret it. Guilt is different from regret or remorse. Remorse is an honest appraisal, and assumes that you are perfectly capable of doing better. It's empowering. Guilt is "I'm bad" and undermines you. You can tell the difference because remorse lasts for a very short period of time, and you feel motivated to do something. Guilt lingers like an unwelcome houseguest. Remorse leads to -

3 - Do something to make up for it. Such as apologise. Sometimes you can't do it in person, or it'll make it worse if you do. In that case, the Catholics really have this down: confession is good for the soul. Then, let's say you stole something. Either give it back. Or if it's gone, give some money or something to a charitable cause to make up for it. (A Buddhist would then dedicate the virtue and good karma this creates to the benefit of others, especially those swimming in guilt and shame.) Which then leads to -

4 - Is the most important step. Promise yourself not to do it again. And this is sort of like giving up smoking sometimes: you may go around this issue several times.

Now, sometimes people have really dug themselves in, and have a lot invested in their guilt. They don't want to give it up. Guilt really has a grip. What's happened is that the guilt has become about "you." Real melodrama, that's moved it to stay, has set up some furniture.

So it's time to pop the melodrama. Put it in perspective. #1 - it's not such a big deal. #2 - it's not unique. #3 - you've done worse, if not in this lifetime, than in others. #4 - other people have done worse (a lot worse), and come through it just fine. You are no worse or better than anyone else. And this mistake is just an open door.

Icarus