WG. Oh. I just got it.

[icarus]

wildernessguru has taken some really nasty swipes at my writing lately. He loved Primer to the Dark Arts and A Moment of Sin. But the other day he shredded my SG-1 fic -- one he hadn't even read. A day or so later he called my HP slash fics, "slash about children."

Yeah. Mean.

Just now, I suddenly got it.

He's jealous.

Not just about the writing, but about my school, writing, career, everything. His job's in the shitter right now, and he said yesterday that he feels like he's accomplished nothing over the last eight years. He doesn't know where to turn. And he's also mentioned feeling jealous about The Puppy's success.

So seeing me do well... yes, he's proud of me. But it hurts, too.

Oh.


ETA: wildernessguru says nope, he's not jealous. He was just irritated with me at the time.

Comments

[presently.livejournal.com]

>_< Yikes.

[dejaspirit.livejournal.com]

No offense, but shouldn't you lock this? I mean, if he's feeling this way and you care about him I wouldn't think he'd appreciate a public post about it.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Too late now. And frankly, if I friendslock it's still to 500+ people, so what's the point? I tried to do a smaller list, way back, but it's still 300 people, so it's not really much better.

His attitude about LJ is that no one's interested in his posts, so why bother, and he's never here. Sure enough, his last political diatribe was ignored. It bums him out when he sees the responses I get, and the friendslist.

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think you're right. *locks* Even if it's to a lot of people, I still don't want his personal stuff coming up in, oh, a websearch.

*locks*

Icarus

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

*relates* Hardcore. Trust me on this. Have you had your morals questioned yet?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, he's bisexual (quite experienced in that regard) and has no hang-ups whatsoever about gay sex. None. It's just senseless swipes coming from him. He even beta'd my Harry/Snape/Ron threeway, Unexpected Guest (http://www.earthlink.net/~dinkbird/stories/unexpectedguest.html). So it's not the usual 'gay stuff is amoral' diatribe. Up until now he's been very supportive of my slash writing, and loves the mood I get in when I've been reading slash. (In fact he's told me "read more slash" after particularly steamy make-out sessions.)

What's going on is he's jealous of all the attention I've received with my stories. It was fine when I was sick and the slash-writing was keeping me going. But now that it's in addition to going back to school and my career opportunities taking off, while his career's not going well? -- yeah.

Icarus

Sympathies

[cheshyre]

My husband suffers from longterm depression; may not be the same thing, but it's tough.

[lizardlaugh.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I am in a similar place, though my d00d has tended to mope and be bitter rather than dog on the stuff I do. Well, there are occasional comments about the fact that I sell dildos. I really *like* selling dildos. I just shrug and try to be understanding.

[ze-dragon.livejournal.com]

*hugs for both you and the Guru*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry it's rough out and that it's finding outlet in snark.

Believe me, I'm familiar with the circumstances here.

Hope things improve.