Final Epilogue of Beg Me For It, called appropriately, 'A Last Note.'

[icarus]

Okay. I'm too impatient to wait till tomorrow to post this final little bit of Beg Me For It.

I've posted the little 'drabble' (that grew and morphed to 3,500 words) Celebrate Life, and Scarred to bring the story to a close. I need to beta that 'drabble' before it goes up on my site and figure out how to deal with a piece of the story that jumps backward in time to the middle of Stand In The Ruins (hmm...). But anyway, the final epilogue.






Dear Harry,

So, I wrote these letters to you while I was in prison, just to keep myself sane. About a month ago, they found my stuff in the rubble of the Ministry. Heh. In the middle of some office. It all reverted after Draco smashed that model, which was a pretty stupid thing for him to do, but, he's like that. Kind of an idiot sometimes.

It worked out all right.

I've thought about it for a long time, kept them in a drawer. Today I decided to just give them to you -- whatever, the whole story. Since I'm not sure how I'd explain this otherwise, you know, Draco and all that. It's different now, with us, from what you see here. For one thing we fight a lot more. But everything these days is like starting over.

Other things are good. Really good.

You probably think I've completely cracked. And I'm not sure I haven't. But reading this, at least, I hope you understand.


Ron




P.S. -

Sorry about telling him about that 'thing' that happened with you and me at the party. I know he's been giving you shit about it. But as of this reading you've got a lot on him too, right? So he can shut up now.

Comments

[cheshyre]

Are the letters supposed to be the original Beg Me stories and drabbles (or variants of them)?

That's the impression I get from this; is that correct?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Yes, basically. 'Splains all those prologues. It's all diaries and letters, and Beg Me For It is a recreation of the story in a complete form. That's my current theory anyway.

At any rate, this means that Harry knows everything. All of it.

Icarus

[cheshyre]

Ouch, poor Harry.
I mean, if Harry isn't bent that way, he may be washing his brain out with soap. [That's certainly my husband's reaction when I try to tell him about slash scenes I'm reading or contemplating.]

No, if Ron gives him the packet of papers, Harry would feel duty-bound to read them all. Poor boy.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Well, in Scarred Harry sort of knows that Draco and Ron are together (if the dancing and kissing doesn't give it away, then leaving together with Draco grabbing his arse is a pretty big clue). It is like Ron to do, um, either no info or way too much.

On the other hand, there was that drunken thing with Harry that we heard about in Sex, Drugs and Death Eater Rock. So even though Harry isn't bent that way, he's not completely ignorant.

I'm not sure this little bit ties the story up with a nice bow or throws the audience a curveball at the last second. Hmmm.

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I'm still laughing at the visualization of your husband washing his mind out with soap. Ha!

Icarus

[cheshyre]

When cedar was worrying about her husband's curiousity about HP fandom, I thought about setting up an LJ community for partners-of-slashers. Let them have their own support group.

"My wife won't let me read anything she writes."
"You're lucky. Mine makes me reality-check incest chan!"

My husband said if somebody created such a group, he'd be willing to participate, but his introductory post would be saying that I forced him to join...

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Ha. My boyfriend would complain that I don't write enough Snape, and that he thinks Percy ought to be taken out and spanked. Just for the name "Percy."

Quote, "What a pussy."

Then he'd whine about how neurotic I get when he shreds my SG-1 slash.

Icarus

[cheshyre]

I think I figured out the origin of "Percy" the other day. It's not short for Percival (as many fanfics had it). The Wizengamot scene in OotP made it clear that Percy is his given name and not a nickname.

In Elizabethan England, the Earl of Northumberland was known as the Wizard Earl. His name was Henry Percy. I wonder whether JKR has made him a distant Weasley ancestor or relation...

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh. Cool.

I'm thinking that I'll keep this little piece separate from the story. It's here, I wrote it, so it'll stick around. But there are too many holes in it and it's just too much of a left turn for the reader. I just learned from Goosey that left turns at the ends of fics are not a good thing. ;)

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Is that a bad thing? I've been unsure of this little tag, whether to add it or not. I like the humour, to mitigate some of the bittersweetness of the previous parts. But I'm not sure springing this on people at the very end helps the story.

Icarus *tests the waters*

[cheshyre]

I started writing this before reading this comment.

1) How long after "Scarred" does this take place?
2) Given how frank Ron was in the stories about their plotting against Lucius & the Death Eaters, it seems... odd... that he'd write them up so explicitly. Leaving them in the office seems like a terrible security risk. Then again, he might not want to leave them lying around the apartment where Draco might run across them.
3) "that 'thing' that happened with you and me at the party" having just reread Scarred, my first reaction was to wonder what happened there. It took a moment to realize he was talking about whatever happened between Ron & Harry. Just a teeny bit unclear, since all that was mentioned before (yes, I just reread) was that they were drunk.

I've been unsure of this little tag, whether to add it or not
I don't think these stories fit as things Ron'd been writing while imprisoned, for reasons given in #2. Particularly not as letters to Harry, given the number of times in "Sex, Drugs" that he prays Harry doesn't find out what he said/did.
On the other hand I could see these stories as things Ron wrote up after the war. I can almost picture Ron seeing a shrink of some sort to straighten himself out (not sexually, but of postwar trauma) and writing them up as exercises/assignments. And then, after he wrote these for the counsellor, decides maybe they're the best way he can explain things to Harry and sends copies along.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Let me think.

1) This would be after Percy becomes Minister of Magic, so we're looking at, hmm. The dance is a couple months after the rebuilding of the Ministry, so Ron had the letters before the dance.

2) Oh. These were in his apartment with Draco. It transformed back into an office when Lucius' Miasma spell was taken down.

That alone tells me this bit is too confusing to add.

3) Oh, Harry and Ron were more than just drunk together. Though Ron never confessed, he never denied to Draco that he himself was Harry's 'first time.' So. Yeah, Draco knew what that meant, though it wasn't clear how far it got. Ron and Harry had slept together and promised never to talk about it. Guys tend to define sex as 'coming with another person' rather than penetration (unless they're with a girl), so it could have been mutual masturbation, but with the way Ron knew his way around a bloke's body there had to have been a lot of touching involved.

It is like someone when they go through so much trauma, even if they don't do counseling (Ron would refuse), they will try to work it out their own way. You can't not tell your story, you need to. And Harry is the most likely person for Ron to tell.

Let me think about this. Ron, I think needs to tell someone his story, and he needs to explain to Harry about Draco. These two things will coincide in Ron's brain. He needs one person who wasn't in that prison to understand him in order to reconnect with the outside world. He'll want that person to be Harry. The understanding he wants is total, so he will tell Harry way too much.

Icarus

[cheshyre]

Brainstorming a little
2) Given the personality you gave Draco, I can't imagine there being any place in Ron&Draco's apartment where Ron could hide something that Draco wouldn't eventually find. Draco might notice Ron hiding them or just might go exploring on his own. Now, *if* you want Ron to have been writing these while still working for Lucius, he *could* have given them to Percy for safekeeping, in case anything happens... That latter bit would be plausible.

Re:counselling, I didn't necessarily think Ron would have a choice. After things calm down a bit, somebody at Mungo's has the idea that everybody who spent time in the Ministry should be forced to report for three mandatory sessions, just to make sure everything's on the up-and-up. [Hell, that actually sounds like a Percy directive.]

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Yeah, regarding 2) I was thinking about that. There's not a chance in hell Draco wouldn't know about any letters. The earlier drabble series, yes. But nothing this detailed.

Re:counselling.

Counselling is a cooperative event. Someone who's learned to get through Death Eater's rah-rah meetings can easily bullshit a counsellor, and will not have a habit of trusting those in authority. Not a chance Ron would cooperate.

He'd just give them lots and lots of information about what they already know -- or think they know. Since that alone is shocking, they'll never think that what Ron's told them really doesn't bother him much, and the real issues are somewhere else about smaller things that loom large to him.

Mandatory counselling is worthless in this case. The very fact that it's mandatory destroys any chance Ron would trust them. I mean, Ron has some major issues with authority and trust right now. Of course he does.

Plus, Ron would run everything by Draco, so they don't feel their relationship is compromised (since Draco is even more paranoid than Ron). It would be like Draco to feel Ron things to give to a counsellor so they can laugh about it later.

No. No counselling. It just won't work.

Pre-Ministry Percy would have had mandatory counselling sessions. I don't think Post-Ministry Percy would be quite that foolish. I mean, he was there, too. He would understand that a mandatory counselling session would sound just like a mandatory Death Eater meeting. Even though later on he was allowed to skip those. At most he'd just recommend it to Ron, and suspect that Ron will skip it.

Icarus

[tboy.livejournal.com]

That alone tells me this bit is too confusing to add.


Not to me, I had no trouble following any inferences, and thought it wrapped up rather nicely.

If you need a place to stash the letters in the apartment, invent something. A loose floorboard under the sofa, or a false bottom in the cupboard under the sink, perhaps.

Gotta tell you I'm thrilled with the entire series (always have been, as you may recall *g*), and these final pieces are really good. Erotically, the tent sex was hot and tender, and hot. Heh. The dance scene made me feel triumphantly romantic *LOL*, and I'm very, very glad they decided to make a go of life-after-the-war. People in his life who love Ron will deal.

I agree that he would desire Harry's full understanding, and would also look for a chance to share. It's not every day a bloke falls in love, and he's had to keep it all to himself for a very long time. Natural for anyone to want to say "My partner and I...". Here he finally gets an opportunity, with Harry whom he trusts.

God, the tent sex. Mmm. Sorry! Still tingling *g*.

Yay you, anyway. Fabulous job. Love it.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Ah. Now I have to go re-read the tent sex, this time as if I were a reader, so I can enjoy it.

I think you're right. Ron's been telling Harry in his mind a long time, so it makes sense he would want tell Harry personally, especially once it becomes, um, obvious.

But it doesn't have to be via letters. I have a couple versions, actually. This note just seemed to tie the drabbles in neatly.

I think... it's not the entirety of the Beg Me For It series that's text of what Harry reads. Just the parts that are first-person. So that would be: Beg Me For It, the drabbles, the prologues, and Stand In The Ruins.

The rest is what Ron fills in, tells Harry himself.

Which of course is totally obvious from these 218 words. Ha. :D

Icarus

[tboy.livejournal.com]

I have a couple versions, actually.

ROFL! *wipes eyes* Oh, I am soooooooooooooo surprised ;-).

I've thought about it for a long time, kept them in a drawer. Today I decided to just give them to you -- whatever, the whole story. Since I'm not sure how I'd explain this otherwise, you know, Draco and all that.

Ok - maybe he'd not say 'the whole story'. Maybe this is where he can offer to fill in the blanks if Harry wants him to *g*?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

maybe he'd not say 'the whole story'

Ah! Good idea. *Pulls out erasing quill*

Icarus

[whimseywisp.livejournal.com]

I loved these last little bits of the Beg Me for It series.
Your stories made me like Ron better.
And of course I love Draco :).

I think the best part of your fics is that you are so true to life - you bring up things like bad breath, and your imagery makes me almost feel like I'm there.

Thanks <3.

[dont-callmebabe.livejournal.com]

Awwwww !

I've just reread your others drabbles, and i really love the way you put bits of informations together.

*worships you*

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Haha, poor Harry. He must be traumatized beyond belief, even if he is bent a bit that way.

But, yay, nice Epilogue. I figured it was something like that... letters or memoirs. I couldn't see Ron regaling these tales to his students at Hogwarts or something.

[millefiori.livejournal.com]

I spent most of the day reading through the whole series and I fell in love with it all over again. (Sex, Drugs, etc. as always, had me laughing so hard I was crying!) This story/series is almost perfectly suited to my taste; it has love and tenderness without mush; humor without humiliation (and no character bashing--yay!); an intelligent, juicy plot; romantic, steamy sex and a happy ending. Fantastic! Thank you so much for writing and sharing it!

I do have a teeny question--what's the time span between Celebrate Life and Scarred? Had Ron and Draco seen or talked to one another at all during that time?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Hooray! This is great to hear, thank you.

The time is approximately two months, and no, though they'd seen each other, they hadn't talked at all.

Icarus

[mizbean.livejournal.com]

I loved all the pieces you wrote for this series. I'm a little sad now, if this means no more chapters. But, really, fabulous job on everything.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I don't feel like it's quite done yet, just because, oh, there's so much editing to do on Celebrate Life. There's actually two versions of that -- the one posted, and one that's much less explicit (I figured everyone would like the explicit one ;). Then there are the questions about the final note, and how that should be phrased and... okay. I guess there's always tinkering, isn't there? This story's been a part of my life since February 2003.

Of course, I could always do a sequel. *Icarus smacks self - bad Dobby*

Icarus

[bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com]

Apologies if this shows up twice, but I think lj ate my comment. Argh.

I was super happy to see there were some more bits to your terrific story. I love this series to bits! It was just so powerful and real and absolutely tender and scary in parts. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this story with everyone. Just as mizbean said, wah! No more chapters! But I can always re-read!

Also, your story has one of my favorite and most memorable moments/scenes in it. Of course I am referring to the time Draco and Ron got wasted, dressed in ling-er-ie and "snuck" to Percy's room! <333 It is one of the Best Scenes Ever! Amusing and scary and Percy! <333 Much love for your Percy! He was so great. And your Ron and Draco too. *sigh* I am now so a Ron/Draco shipper! :D

Superb job!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm just blown away. I had to read your comment twice before I could respond.

Every time someone says "my favourite part was..." I always mentally try to fill it in. I've never been right once. When tboy beta'd that scene with the lingerie she told me later that people were looking at her very, very strangely in the cafeteria as she spluttered and choked.

It's so tempting to forever add little bits to the story, but at this point I have to say, "Okay, beta this and it's a wrap." :D

Thanks again.

Icarus