My Worst Job. Have a story?

[icarus]

My Worst Job

Yes, we've all had'em. Bizarre jobs we don't care to admit until a friend thinks they have a worse story - Oh yeah?

Job titles that require lengthy explanation. (Mine tops everyone's: Roach Coach Driver.)

Job descriptions so strange, pointless or insane, you can't believe you ever did that. (Wilderness Guru takes the cake: he worked for a bomb factory. Ever have something actually blow up on the job?)

Bosses that were let out of the looney bin, just for you.

Or that day at work that would make anyone decide... no thanks. (The Puppy's worst day: off the coast of Alaska, up to his waist in bilge water, pouring quick-set concrete to fill that, er, hole the boat developed.)

For some reason these shitty jobs all pay badly. (Roach Coach? $200/week, cash. Bomb Factory? $4.75/hour. Sinking boat? No one could pay enough.)

Now there's a use for these stories - to entertain the multitude! I'm doing a tongue-in-cheek column for the college newspaper, and I want to hear from you.

[Poll #392948]


ETA: I'm finding that the maximum space allowed on these polls really doesn't leave enough space for these description-defying jobs. So if it's too short (it was for me) just go ahead and leave the story in comments.

ETA2: Okay, "Elver Gatherer" tops "Roach Coach Driver", any day of the week. Thanks, Webba.

ETA3: cordelia_v! *snort* *splutter!* *wheeze!* Ahahahahahaha!

Comments

[skuf.livejournal.com]

Can you use odd-job stories from Denmark? Of course the pay is going to sound fantastic (but we have high taxes and everything costs a fortune…)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Any shitty job will do. :D

If there isn't enough room, just go ahead and put it in comments.

Oh man...

Icarus

[skuf.livejournal.com]

*Ponders, which shitty job to share?* I'll tell you about my garbage can job - which actually isn't even the worst job I've ever had, sad as it sounds:

The "Odd" Job Title
My one co-worker and I talked about our "title" - I think we came up with "renovation consultant assistants" (because our boss was a "renovation consultant". Well, that's what his card said, heh).


Bizarre/Dangerous/Stupid Job Description
A couple of summers ago, I was employed briefly by the city for a special project: scraping old stickers off garbage cans/garbage containers, cleaning the area off with methylated spirits, and putting on new shiny stickers.¹ Work started at 6 am and was 6-8 hours every day. Walking from trash can/container to trash can/container, stopping to scrape, clean, stick at each one.

Marvelous job. The first days, I practically jumped from the front door into the shower, I felt so dirty, ick!


My Weirdest Day... you won't believe it...
They were all exactly the same. Oh, wait: it was hilarious when people would come out and see us messing with their garbage can and think we were cleaning them! Yes, buddy: with this small rag and a bottle of methylated spirits, I'm going to clean your whole garbage can!² Don't forget to thank the city for this nice service.


The Upshot (end of job, continuation of story, idiot!boss)
I'll tell you why it's not the worst job I've had (that would be the part-time job I currently hold and am quitting as of Wednesday: cleaning at a butcher's, yuckyuckyuck!):

• It was a lot of walking - and scraping, which was harder work than it maybe sounds - but that also meant lots of exercise.
  
• We had a boss, but he sat in his office somewhere in town and we did our own thing, no supervision. Hey, if lunch dragged out past that ½ hour, who'd know?
  
• We couldn't work in wet weather - then the stickers wouldn't stick. Only nice weather for us!
  
• I didn't have to deal with any people (and no boss!) - except my co-worker, and the occasional surprised garbage can-owner. I much prefer to work on my own.

Less-than-stellar pay. For this shit I made --
Went and looked it up: 93 kr. per hour - around $16.50. I paid 42% of that in taxes, though. And everything is much more expensive in Denmark :o)


Your first name and last initial
Heidi M.


¹Which told people to please knot their trash bags, so things didn't spill out and mix - the city was trying out separating organic garbage from ordinary garbage…
²I can't find you a picture, but they weren't small.