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icarusAfter reading a certain fanfic, which no doubt is excellent despite its flaws but I couldn't continue:
1 - Never, ever tell us the obvious. No one reads fanfiction without at least a rudimentary knowledge of the show. Yes, we know Jack is a colonel. Yes, we know the general is crusty but friendly. If you absolutely must tell us these things, please, for the love of God, don't do it in exposition, which is dry, dry, dry. *hacks up exposition*
2 - You are allowed the occasional dash. You are not permitted to use it in your first paragraph, nor are you permitted to use more than one per paragraph. If you have dull, unimportant information to convey (see previous point), don't shout it with a dash - a dash is not a parenthesis, it emphasizes - instead please try another technique. Perhaps two sentences? Pretend you have a lifetime limit on the number of dashes you use and must save them for important occasions.
Thank you for your consideration.
1 - Never, ever tell us the obvious. No one reads fanfiction without at least a rudimentary knowledge of the show. Yes, we know Jack is a colonel. Yes, we know the general is crusty but friendly. If you absolutely must tell us these things, please, for the love of God, don't do it in exposition, which is dry, dry, dry. *hacks up exposition*
2 - You are allowed the occasional dash. You are not permitted to use it in your first paragraph, nor are you permitted to use more than one per paragraph. If you have dull, unimportant information to convey (see previous point), don't shout it with a dash - a dash is not a parenthesis, it emphasizes - instead please try another technique. Perhaps two sentences? Pretend you have a lifetime limit on the number of dashes you use and must save them for important occasions.
Thank you for your consideration.
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-05 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-05 09:49 pm (UTC)Are you on Y!M?
As for stories, the writing is this is slightly awkward, but the story itself is convincing and good: Infinite Possibilities (http://www.bunnyfic.com/Brenda/Infinite_Possibilities.htm) by Brenda. It left me warm and happy, and good sex is always a plus.
This is a weird but funny Gen story. Weird in that it somehow doesn't seem to have anything to do with the Stargate or the usual onworld stuff. Funny in that it cracked my up.
And Ducks Go Quack, Quack (http://www.stargatefan.com/fictionabc/andsducksgoquack.html)
"What on earth is going on here, Teal'c?"
"I do not know, General Hammond. Your mother instructed me to come here and lay out this paper. Of what rank is your mother?"
Got any recs for me? Porn? Anything?
Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-06 02:30 am (UTC)And as for recs... I'm sorry! I haven't read anything lately that isn't DC Comics fandom. HP has been hitting me cold, lately, and since you're the one I get my SG-1 recs from.... So unless you want to read Batman/Robin porn, I can't really help you! Bah. I suck. ( ;
*reads links*
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Date: 2005-03-05 09:32 pm (UTC)At times I wish I had known some of the Rules of Writing that are so obvious to me now when I was a newer writer. Like you said above, we KNOW about them. We know they are generals. We know if they are Americans or Japanese or from a Galaxy Far Far Away. Unless they are standing next to a flag, it is generally not important to say.
My biggest peeve, and yes, I used to do it from time to time, is the blue-green-orange-plaid-eyed man.
"Which way is it to the orgy?" asked the blue-eyed man.
AURGH!!! If you must make mention of someone's eyeballs, then make sure someone is staring into those 'glowing chocolatey orbs', okay? Or maybe just don't and spare us the pain.
I read a story once, it was a foursome, and at least in every paragraph was a 'blue-eyed man.'Sometimes she also threw in a 'brown-haired' man for a little flavor. It could have been a really good story if I hadn't been cracking up every time over those.
Sometimes it does feel like you are overusing names, but it was pointed out to me that readers are accustomed to it and it doesn't feel that way to them.
Also, save those ALL CAPITAL or bold words for special times too. I've seen stories with so many of those it's like it is filled with speed bumps. ;)
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Date: 2005-03-05 09:54 pm (UTC)"We're going in at 0300," said the soldier, cleaning his gun.
There the epithet means something.
Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-05 09:42 pm (UTC)*is puzzled*
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Date: 2005-03-05 09:51 pm (UTC)Or do you mean "what is a dash?" and just intend to say that you never use them?
Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-05 10:04 pm (UTC)And heh. 'Cause I use them. I use them a lot. I use them to cut sentences.
a dash is not a parenthesis
Well...um... no. It isn't. Can you give an example of how one should NOT use the dash? 'Cause I'm really puzzled :>
no subject
Date: 2005-03-08 08:15 pm (UTC)Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah -- blah blah blah blah blah blah -- blah blah blah blah blah . Then, blah blah blah blah blah . And blah blah blah blah -- blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah -- blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .
Very confusing for the reader because you start losing track of which dashed section belongs to which sentence. You want to use dashes to set off important, sudden information -- so people will pay attention to it.
If you can avoid the double-dash sticking information in the middle of a sentence and use either parenthesis or commas, do it. Better yet, find a way to say it in two sentences, or a sentence with a subordinate clause. I hate to over-generalize, but generally, two sets of dashes in one sentence means you're over-burdening that sentence.
Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-08 11:06 pm (UTC)But that's, like, um, basic know-how :)=
If the sentence makes sense - well, that's a different story :>
Thank you for the example.
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Date: 2005-03-05 11:10 pm (UTC)hurt me hurt me!no subject
Date: 2005-03-08 08:16 pm (UTC)Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-05 11:46 pm (UTC)This is me, snerking. Because I understand.
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Date: 2005-03-08 08:17 pm (UTC)Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-06 12:08 am (UTC)That sounded sexier than I meant it to, but you get the idea.
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Date: 2005-03-08 08:18 pm (UTC)Ha! Yeah, I turned in an essay last week with one terribly over-loaded sentence. The guilty culprit: a set of dashes. *sigh* I really ought to know better.
Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-06 06:02 am (UTC)The worst thing is when you've got a really long series in which several pages are devoted, at the beginning of each book, to explaining everything, and then every single fan thinks she has to go through the same thing to make her fic *authentic*, and if you read the same basic info one more time you think you're going to SCREAM.
Ahem. Sorry. That was a long time ago. *slinks away*
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Date: 2005-03-08 08:21 pm (UTC)*Icarus looks around the room as if she missed that.*
The worst thing is when you've got a really long series in which several pages are devoted, at the beginning of each book
There are creative ways to do this. That's why in media res works. I was surprised at how little needed to be explained from part of Beg Me For It to another.
Icarus
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Date: 2005-03-09 02:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 04:30 am (UTC)LOL! I hesitate to ask but, which fandom was it?
The Lord of the Rings fandom was notorious for OOC characters and attitudes that were completely inappropriate and too-modern for the time in which it was set. Rare is the writer who can write LotR fanfic and write it well.
Icarus