How to write a battle scene
Jan. 29th, 2004 10:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusNo one is impressed with a hero that defeats a dumb enemy.
I don't know about anyone else, but I tend to skim any battle scene that is poorly thought out. I admit, the only believable battle scene in fanfic I've found is The Long Road To Damascus (I'll check that link in a minute). As many of you know, I've been researching military strategy for the upcoming chapter of Beg Me For It, 'SNAFU. I thought I'd consolidate that research here.
For all battle scenes, you have to consider the enemy strategy first. Look at Lord of the Rings (not the movie, the book). Tolkien was in the WWI, in fact, he was in the infamous battle of the Somme where the British losses were notorious. Not many people survived that. Tolkien knows what he's doing with a battle scene.
In the LotR, the bad guys have a really good plan. We know what weapons they have. They've hidden boats with which to bypass Osgiliath and cross the river whether they defeat the garrison at Osgiliath or not. They know they have overwhelming numbers. They had an army on the road to cut off any help from Rohan (King Theoden's forces were helped by a forest native, Ghan-buri-Ghan, and led through an ancient rotted road that was higher up the mountains). They have a plan to harry the southern coastlands with naval forces (the Corsairs, with black sails), which meant that the coastlands didn't send as many troops to Minas Tirith.
They knew that they were forcing Minas Tirith to retreat behind the walls, and came prepared for a long seige. They brought ladders and seige towers and catapults (one of the main flaws of the movie is that the walls of Minas Tirith crumbled like styrofoam). They brought fire to burn out the fields. They brought all those severed heads to use psychological warfare (which they waited to use when the city of Minas Tirith was burning and everyone had to retreat behind the 2nd gate - for good reason. To use it when people already felt they were losing). Knowing their objective, the bad guys were prepared.
Planning a battle, you consider first:
- the objective
It could be a kill run, get as many as possible - go in heavily armed and fast.
It could be a strike to recover a hostage, so you want stealth and a diversion to make sure they don't kill the hostage.
It could be to capture territory a building, in which case you want to cut supply lines, cut support from the outside and then capture all the key areas such as weapons and communications and garrisons, so your enemy's forced to surrender - you never want to have to kill all your enemy, because that's a lot of work.
It could be a strike to kill one key person, i.e., assassination. Or capture a key person. In which case you need very good spies that can tell you when he's going to be most vulnerable. Or a set up to lure him away. This is all about surveillance, watching them for a long time till you've got their routine down. Ideally, if the person is important, you can use a traitor close to them. A lot of people are grabbed in transit, and there's often a faked accident.
Or your goal could be to defend territory or a building, in which case you think of all the loopholes, all your weaknesses - you have to be honest, this is where Hitler went wrong, his people were afraid to tell him about real weaknesses. You think of all the ways those could be exploited, and then you cover them, and double cover them. Not just a guard at the door, but a guard and a boiling oil trap. You could also create a false weakness to draw attackers into a trap.
- surveillance, reconaissance and spies: what they know the opposition has and how to counter it.
Surveillance is passive. You set up people to just watch; they may not even be armed.
This is so basic, I doubt I even have to mention it. But just in case I do, yes, before any kind of attack the bad guys will have checked out who is where. They will have watched for a while so they can predict what might happen, and they will still be watching just before the operation, and while the operation is underway. If there is something out of place, on a sensitive operation they will change their tactics or call it off. If it takes a lot to set up, they will be more likely to go ahead if something is a little wrong, unless they have a very disciplined commander.
Reconaissance is active. You quietly poke ahead before anyone moves into an area. Recon is well-armed but is not supposed to engage the enemy if possible. They just get in, have a look around, and get out.
As for spies, Snape can't possibly be the only spy in the wizarding world. Voldemort has to have counter spies. The CIA and Sun Tzu say there are several types of spies, and that your enemy usually creates their own spies by causing dissatisfaction of one kind or another. Most spies have to be recruited, and there are sophisticated techniques to do this, to win their trust. The ones that come to you either a) have something to sell, b) are idealogically against the person they're willing to spy on.
The most common sort of spy by far is the one who's actively recruited and paid. 90% - 99%.
- equipment/prepared spells: what do you have to throw at them.
This is the reason Tom Clancy is so successful, and military types love their equipment. Most guys like guns (or other weapons). No. Like is not the word. It's closer to lust.
For the more ladylike among us, writing a battle scene without knowing your weapons (magical or otherwise) is like cooking without knowing your ingredients. Make a list. This is a test of your creativity. ;)
Different types of weapons are appropriate to different scenarios. You have to adapt this for magic, but edged weapons are best for close quarters - that's why there are bayonettes on rifles. Weapons that fire are best for long distance. Magic is particularly useful for sniping.
Be aware of the limits of magic in HP. The biggest is the need for secrecy. The DEs don't want to be swarmed by more Muggles than they can handle, so big explosions in say, London, are out. But the DEs will probably use the good guys' need to preserve Muggle life against them.
- trained and briefed men, with a command structure appropriate to the mission.
You send regular army into a pitched battle (with a plan). You send thugs into a scene designed to disrupt or cause chaos (with a minimal plan). You send specialists in night battle (like Army Rangers) to fight at night. The smaller and more surgical the objective, the more highly trained men who are independent thinkers - think Special Forces - you need. Complicated assaults generally build mock-up of the site and practice, practice, practice.
In our world, anyone can be taught to use a gun. But in HP, magic is dependent on talent and highly specialised training. Spells/wandwork require line of sight, and range is limited. It's more like swordsmanship, except a commander has to take into account a huge array of specialisation among his troops.
- theory: what they suspect the opposition might have.
Your bad guys will have an idea they don't know everything, and they know the current 'state of the art' technology/spells. They know who's on what side, and what abilities they have. They can make an intelligent guess what else they might face beyond what the spies and surveillance have told them, and plan accordingly.
- a back up plan: another approach if one plan doesn't work, good to have two or three of these.
This is just common sense. Think of football (or the Trojan war). The team might fake one strategy and do something else. They might send a smaller team to finish the objective while the rest appear to pull back. They might create a diversion, attack one place strongly to draw off support from their real objective.
Or they might have someone in their ranks break from the plan to play hero or out of fear, and either a) disrupt it, or b) surprise everyone and succeed. This happens more with poorly trained, green troops.
- an exit strategy: if you're not holding territory, how to get out with as few losses as possible. Also how to escape if everything goes South.
This means that the bad guys have Death Eaters holding an escape route of some kind, or have carried with them some means to getaway with whatever they've come for.
Even if they've come to capture territory, they will have a back door. Only a dumb commander leaves himself and his troops no way out in the event of failure. They will also plan to have covering fire (of some kind) for the escapees, and certain men assigned to the rearguard whose job is to make sure everyone gets out before they do. They will often be charged with booby-trapping and slowing down the attack of following forces.
It's a rule of thumb that you never let an escaping force see they are completely surrounded, unless you want to learn just how hard they can fight.
And by the way, if anyone's seen Platoon, you know that the smaller groups - the companies (about 90-100 men), platoon (30-60), squads (8-12), etc - have men assigned to different tasks, too. The 'point man' or vanguard go ahead and make sure the coast is clear before the entire company moves into a trap or an ambush, and they also have a rearguard (aka 'rear security').
This is the one where fanfic writers really mess up. They just have the Death Eaters charge in and of course they're going to get captured.
***
So. Lay your bad guy's battle plan carefully. Make sure it makes sense and is clever. Then have your hero defeat it. Only then will your readers be impressed with the victors.
Notes --
I should probably give credit to the sources:
The Art Of War, Sun Tzu
Chariots Of The Damned, Maj. Mike MacKinney (SAR
The Face Of Battle, John Keegan
Hazardous Duty, Col. Hackworth
About Face, Col. Hackworth
Dangerous Places, Fielding (wacky current insurgencies, first person accounts on Beirut.)
World Air Power Journal
Various websites on the Roman Empire. http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/H/history/guide03/part04x.html
Movies:
The Rock
Tears Of The Sun
Platoon
Ronin
The Sorcerer
The Transporter
Proof Of Life
Grosse Point Blank
Outlaw Jesse Wales
Bravo Two Zero
Red Dawn
The Wild Bunch
Uncommon Valour
Roadhouse
Assassination Tango
The Bourne Identity
Mission: Impossible
Predator
Silent Trigger
Recommended movies:
Uncommon Valour (Gene Hackworth, Patrick Swayze)
Heat
The Professional
Sniper (w/Tom Barringer)
The Wild Geese
The Dogs Of War
Interviews:
American Indian Vietnam Vet, Army
Vietnam Vet, Navy
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wildernessguru, military analyst, invaluable ongoing assistance.
I don't know about anyone else, but I tend to skim any battle scene that is poorly thought out. I admit, the only believable battle scene in fanfic I've found is The Long Road To Damascus (I'll check that link in a minute). As many of you know, I've been researching military strategy for the upcoming chapter of Beg Me For It, 'SNAFU. I thought I'd consolidate that research here.
For all battle scenes, you have to consider the enemy strategy first. Look at Lord of the Rings (not the movie, the book). Tolkien was in the WWI, in fact, he was in the infamous battle of the Somme where the British losses were notorious. Not many people survived that. Tolkien knows what he's doing with a battle scene.
In the LotR, the bad guys have a really good plan. We know what weapons they have. They've hidden boats with which to bypass Osgiliath and cross the river whether they defeat the garrison at Osgiliath or not. They know they have overwhelming numbers. They had an army on the road to cut off any help from Rohan (King Theoden's forces were helped by a forest native, Ghan-buri-Ghan, and led through an ancient rotted road that was higher up the mountains). They have a plan to harry the southern coastlands with naval forces (the Corsairs, with black sails), which meant that the coastlands didn't send as many troops to Minas Tirith.
They knew that they were forcing Minas Tirith to retreat behind the walls, and came prepared for a long seige. They brought ladders and seige towers and catapults (one of the main flaws of the movie is that the walls of Minas Tirith crumbled like styrofoam). They brought fire to burn out the fields. They brought all those severed heads to use psychological warfare (which they waited to use when the city of Minas Tirith was burning and everyone had to retreat behind the 2nd gate - for good reason. To use it when people already felt they were losing). Knowing their objective, the bad guys were prepared.
Planning a battle, you consider first:
- the objective
It could be a kill run, get as many as possible - go in heavily armed and fast.
It could be a strike to recover a hostage, so you want stealth and a diversion to make sure they don't kill the hostage.
It could be to capture territory a building, in which case you want to cut supply lines, cut support from the outside and then capture all the key areas such as weapons and communications and garrisons, so your enemy's forced to surrender - you never want to have to kill all your enemy, because that's a lot of work.
It could be a strike to kill one key person, i.e., assassination. Or capture a key person. In which case you need very good spies that can tell you when he's going to be most vulnerable. Or a set up to lure him away. This is all about surveillance, watching them for a long time till you've got their routine down. Ideally, if the person is important, you can use a traitor close to them. A lot of people are grabbed in transit, and there's often a faked accident.
Or your goal could be to defend territory or a building, in which case you think of all the loopholes, all your weaknesses - you have to be honest, this is where Hitler went wrong, his people were afraid to tell him about real weaknesses. You think of all the ways those could be exploited, and then you cover them, and double cover them. Not just a guard at the door, but a guard and a boiling oil trap. You could also create a false weakness to draw attackers into a trap.
- surveillance, reconaissance and spies: what they know the opposition has and how to counter it.
Surveillance is passive. You set up people to just watch; they may not even be armed.
This is so basic, I doubt I even have to mention it. But just in case I do, yes, before any kind of attack the bad guys will have checked out who is where. They will have watched for a while so they can predict what might happen, and they will still be watching just before the operation, and while the operation is underway. If there is something out of place, on a sensitive operation they will change their tactics or call it off. If it takes a lot to set up, they will be more likely to go ahead if something is a little wrong, unless they have a very disciplined commander.
Reconaissance is active. You quietly poke ahead before anyone moves into an area. Recon is well-armed but is not supposed to engage the enemy if possible. They just get in, have a look around, and get out.
As for spies, Snape can't possibly be the only spy in the wizarding world. Voldemort has to have counter spies. The CIA and Sun Tzu say there are several types of spies, and that your enemy usually creates their own spies by causing dissatisfaction of one kind or another. Most spies have to be recruited, and there are sophisticated techniques to do this, to win their trust. The ones that come to you either a) have something to sell, b) are idealogically against the person they're willing to spy on.
The most common sort of spy by far is the one who's actively recruited and paid. 90% - 99%.
- equipment/prepared spells: what do you have to throw at them.
This is the reason Tom Clancy is so successful, and military types love their equipment. Most guys like guns (or other weapons). No. Like is not the word. It's closer to lust.
For the more ladylike among us, writing a battle scene without knowing your weapons (magical or otherwise) is like cooking without knowing your ingredients. Make a list. This is a test of your creativity. ;)
Different types of weapons are appropriate to different scenarios. You have to adapt this for magic, but edged weapons are best for close quarters - that's why there are bayonettes on rifles. Weapons that fire are best for long distance. Magic is particularly useful for sniping.
Be aware of the limits of magic in HP. The biggest is the need for secrecy. The DEs don't want to be swarmed by more Muggles than they can handle, so big explosions in say, London, are out. But the DEs will probably use the good guys' need to preserve Muggle life against them.
- trained and briefed men, with a command structure appropriate to the mission.
You send regular army into a pitched battle (with a plan). You send thugs into a scene designed to disrupt or cause chaos (with a minimal plan). You send specialists in night battle (like Army Rangers) to fight at night. The smaller and more surgical the objective, the more highly trained men who are independent thinkers - think Special Forces - you need. Complicated assaults generally build mock-up of the site and practice, practice, practice.
In our world, anyone can be taught to use a gun. But in HP, magic is dependent on talent and highly specialised training. Spells/wandwork require line of sight, and range is limited. It's more like swordsmanship, except a commander has to take into account a huge array of specialisation among his troops.
- theory: what they suspect the opposition might have.
Your bad guys will have an idea they don't know everything, and they know the current 'state of the art' technology/spells. They know who's on what side, and what abilities they have. They can make an intelligent guess what else they might face beyond what the spies and surveillance have told them, and plan accordingly.
- a back up plan: another approach if one plan doesn't work, good to have two or three of these.
This is just common sense. Think of football (or the Trojan war). The team might fake one strategy and do something else. They might send a smaller team to finish the objective while the rest appear to pull back. They might create a diversion, attack one place strongly to draw off support from their real objective.
Or they might have someone in their ranks break from the plan to play hero or out of fear, and either a) disrupt it, or b) surprise everyone and succeed. This happens more with poorly trained, green troops.
- an exit strategy: if you're not holding territory, how to get out with as few losses as possible. Also how to escape if everything goes South.
This means that the bad guys have Death Eaters holding an escape route of some kind, or have carried with them some means to getaway with whatever they've come for.
Even if they've come to capture territory, they will have a back door. Only a dumb commander leaves himself and his troops no way out in the event of failure. They will also plan to have covering fire (of some kind) for the escapees, and certain men assigned to the rearguard whose job is to make sure everyone gets out before they do. They will often be charged with booby-trapping and slowing down the attack of following forces.
It's a rule of thumb that you never let an escaping force see they are completely surrounded, unless you want to learn just how hard they can fight.
And by the way, if anyone's seen Platoon, you know that the smaller groups - the companies (about 90-100 men), platoon (30-60), squads (8-12), etc - have men assigned to different tasks, too. The 'point man' or vanguard go ahead and make sure the coast is clear before the entire company moves into a trap or an ambush, and they also have a rearguard (aka 'rear security').
This is the one where fanfic writers really mess up. They just have the Death Eaters charge in and of course they're going to get captured.
***
So. Lay your bad guy's battle plan carefully. Make sure it makes sense and is clever. Then have your hero defeat it. Only then will your readers be impressed with the victors.
Notes --
I should probably give credit to the sources:
The Art Of War, Sun Tzu
Chariots Of The Damned, Maj. Mike MacKinney (SAR
The Face Of Battle, John Keegan
Hazardous Duty, Col. Hackworth
About Face, Col. Hackworth
Dangerous Places, Fielding (wacky current insurgencies, first person accounts on Beirut.)
World Air Power Journal
Various websites on the Roman Empire. http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/H/history/guide03/part04x.html
Movies:
The Rock
Tears Of The Sun
Platoon
Ronin
The Sorcerer
The Transporter
Proof Of Life
Grosse Point Blank
Outlaw Jesse Wales
Bravo Two Zero
Red Dawn
The Wild Bunch
Uncommon Valour
Roadhouse
Assassination Tango
The Bourne Identity
Mission: Impossible
Predator
Silent Trigger
Recommended movies:
Uncommon Valour (Gene Hackworth, Patrick Swayze)
Heat
The Professional
Sniper (w/Tom Barringer)
The Wild Geese
The Dogs Of War
Interviews:
American Indian Vietnam Vet, Army
Vietnam Vet, Navy
wildernessguru, military analyst, invaluable ongoing assistance.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 09:22 pm (UTC)By the way, "Long Road to Damascus" can be found here (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=111455).
no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 09:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 09:37 pm (UTC)I SUCK at writing battle scenes. This entry is going into my "memories". Bless you!
.... um, do you have any pointers on writing one-on-one swordfights? Without it sounding DUMB? Mine always are dumb. And boring.
Re:
Date: 2004-01-29 09:50 pm (UTC)Icarus did do this post on broadsword fighting technique (http://www.livejournal.com/users/icarusancalion/127889.html). It's not quite "how to write something", but it does help you come to terms with the basics and the lingo of fencing.
Re:
Date: 2004-01-29 09:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 10:18 pm (UTC)Icarus
Sources
Date: 2004-01-29 10:45 pm (UTC)The Art Of War, Sun Tzu
Chariots Of The Damned, Maj. Mike MacKinney (SAR
The Face Of Battle, John Keegan
Hazardous Duty, Col. Hackworth
About Face, Col. Hackworth
Dangerous Places, Fielding (wacky current insurgencies, first person accounts on Beirut.)
Various websites on the Roman Empire. http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/H/history/guide03/part04x.html
Movies:
The Rock
Tears Of The Sun
Platoon
Ronin
The Sorcerer
The Transporter
Proof Of Life
Grosse Point Blank
Outlaw Jesse Wales
Bravo Two Zero
Recommended movies:
Uncommon Valour (Gene Hackworth, Patrick Swayze)
Heat
The Professional
Sniper (w/Tom Barringer)
The Wild Geese
The Dogs Of War
Interviews:
American Indian Vietnam Vet
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-01-29 10:51 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-01-29 11:30 pm (UTC)It took a while to compile everything, so I figured I'd spare other people the work. It came up because I've been doing all this military research over the last five months or so, and I just read a fanfic that had the standard Death-Eaters-blasting-through-Hogwarts-kids scene. I analyzed just what about it made me doubt its veracity.
Most of the credit goes to
I asked him for help on a fanfic that is mostly one long battle scene. He told me right off: "first you need to figure out what the enemy has." (I was very annoyed and discouraged because that was much more work than I ever intended to put into one story.) He pointed me to all the materials to learn military strategies, movies to help me get a feel for how this works, books, and answered my questions as needed.
The next part, that I haven't really put in here, is the fact that you need a clear idea of the layout or terrain - ideally a diagram or map. Consider the importance of high ground and the placement of the sun (in your face?). Then also the weather is a consideration.
Finally, you plan the attack, the ideal 'best case scenario.' Also you plan the ideal 'best case scenario' of the defense. Then you write how it really goes, with all the little (and big) things that go wrong, personality issues, all the aspects of characterisation.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-01-30 05:33 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-01-31 02:06 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-01-31 07:30 pm (UTC)*swoons at the very thought of a HotSexIcarusStyle!How-to*
As for the teacher...that depends. Is it a seventy-year-old man? If it is, then no. If it is a thirty-year-old woman wearing one of the t-shirts that Sushi is selling...then yes.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-10 08:15 am (UTC):)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-26 12:32 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 01:08 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 05:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 07:59 am (UTC)*drinks more coffee*
no subject
Date: 2004-07-27 08:03 am (UTC)I really ought to put those remaining challenges up for grabs....
no subject
Date: 2004-07-29 01:10 am (UTC)What makes a good war story is that there's a lot you don't tell. You need the whole battle plan for both sides worked out, even if you only show part of it.
And then, you change the battle plan -- through in something unexpected. It could be as simple as the weather going sour.
It doesn't have be something that goes wrong exactly, just, there's always unexpected events. The kind of unexpected events caused by people (and these can be things that are beneficial) are based on their characters. Someone cocky will take an unexpected, hair-brained risk. Someone steady and experienced might not go for a bad battle plan and cause hesitation and doubt.
If there's any one book I'd recommend, it's the Snow Lion Publications version of The Art of War. This is very accessible, and give all the basics you must know about war.
Icarus
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2004-07-29 04:37 am (UTC)Grazie-this is most helpful; already you have given me many ideas that I plan to use. The idea of the unexpected is very good one, indeed, I at least have some idea of where to look to make it more believable (and now my mind is full of Irish history and all the smut that that drags in *shakes head*)
I shall definately attempt to procure that book! Once again, grazie.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-07 03:41 pm (UTC)Thanks hon!
Love the Daniel Jackson language essay, btw. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-07 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-07 04:58 pm (UTC)