icarusancalion

Ah. Power. I love it so.

I'm reviewing the applications for the Student Council, scoring them on Activities and Community Experience, Leadership, Qualities, Training, Diversity, and (for the lion's share of the score) the Personal Statement.

I'm telling you, I'm learning how not to write a Personal Statement.

1 - Do not allow your personal neurosis to intrude.
For example, this means do not mention the "poor leadership of others" or "crimes committed" against you when you were "forced from [your] home." Yeesh. Try to sound sane. Even if it's hard for you.

2 - Do not be vague.
I just marked down a perfectly good, experienced candidate who's currently on the student council because she rambled about her general principles of leadership and leadership development experience without telling me exactly what she did. Just because it's elsewhere on the application doesn't mean you can skip specifics.

3 - Do not frame your personal statement as a letter.
This is unprofessional and makes you look inept.

4 - Answer the question.
If you don't answer the question, you come across as someone who doesn't listen. The question here was "what is your past leadership experience"? Amazingly, 20% of the candidates went on about their leadership philosophies instead.

5 - Do not handwrite your personal statement.
It makes it look like an afterthought, like you didn't care. Handwritten with cross-outs? Double no.

6 - Do not tell me you're "a natural born leader" or on a "special mission to change the world."
First, I don't care. All I want to know about is your skills and attitudes. Second -- can we say "ego"?

7 - Mentioning leadership within religious organizations is fine. Mentioning your faith-inspired leadership skills is a mistake.
Nothing shouts "I will shove my religion down everyone's throats" like "I'm applying because Jesus entered my life." (Okay, I'm paraphrasing here, but.. man.)

8 - Spelling and grammar is a must.
Yes, even if you are from another country, you need to know the basics. If you are from a poor inner city school, try paragraphs. Really.

9 - Fill out applications neatly and completely.
I almost kissed the Asian girl with the tidy near-typeset printing. I cannot over-emphasize how well-disposed I was towards her: I was ready to give her the job and was very disappointed she didn't have all the qualifications. As for leaving things blank... why apply at all?

10 - Do try to sound like you care about the organization.
Rambling on about yourself is part of the game, but try not to sound like Gilderoy Lockhart, "me, me, beautiful me!" After all, we're looking to see how you'll be useful to us.


The point of the personal statement is to make a good impression, to connect your personality and life experience to that dry list of "stuff" you've done.

I want to hear about how you've grown (not how you were born to be great), what you've learned (not what you believe), where and how you've learned it (not just vague concepts). This should all lead up to why you're interested in being here, since that is, after all, the goal of the application. I've only one application that did all of this.

painless_j inspired this, and long ago I told sparrowhawk and Moira McDuff that I'd teach magic. Well. How to write it anyway.

Original Magic is rarely well done, but I don't think it's really Harry Potter fanfiction without Magic, and I feel cheated when people just reiterate what's already known. It lacks... charm.

People just don't know how to write it.

Treat it as ordinary.
Magic in Harry Potter is taken for granted, much like we don't think about turning on the lights or stepping on an elevator. Ordinariness is the key.

( Do's and Don'ts )

Magic doesn't always work.
We seem to forget that magic is a skill, and like most skills has to be learned, and some people are just better at a particular type of magic than others.

( Do's and Don'ts )

Make it unexpected.
Don't just transform something from our world into a magical counterpart. It's too obvious. Take things from our life and twist them. Make them do the opposite of what you'd expect, and remember -- magic is generally somewhat uncomfortable.

( Do's and Don'ts )

There are a few ways to 'twist' things.

( How? )

Magic is uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.
Too many people use fanfic magic as cure-all that makes life easier than ours. We all want magic to fix everything for us, right?

( Do's and Don'ts )

Catch Harry off-guard.
The other characters take Magic for granted. Harry walks into it all the time where he doesn't know what he's looking at. Remember if you're writing Harry as your central character, he's the one all those Muggle readers identify with.

( Do's and Don'ts )

Magic as irony.
Another point is that JKR usually uses magic to make fun of something in the 'real' world. There's a tongue-in-cheek humour.

( Do's and Don'ts )

It takes a little extra effort, but it's worth it. AT first you think steam's gonna come out of your ears coming up with this stuff. But as you get into the habit of writing in magical detail, it becomes easier and easier.

Have fun, bring out your quirky sense of humour, and remember... the point of Harry Potter magic is that it doesn't solve all your problems. No more than this computer I'm typing on.



ETA:
* - From Primer to the Dark Arts. It was easier to use my own magic than look up other people's successful spells.
** - From conversation with sparrowhawk on creating magic.
*** - From Fanning the Flames.

I was just chit-chatting with gmth about ff.net's no author-notes-instead-of-chapters TOU rule and thought this might be a good opportunity to talk about staying out of trouble on ff.net.

My experience with ff.net is that if no one complains, the place too big for the owner to patrol. The big complainers are a) the slash trolls - people who look for slash in order to get rid of it - and b) the very young and squeamish.

There are few things to avoid:

1 - Stories that are not plot-driven, or where the sex comes before the plot. If you're writing slash, you'll want at least a page or two of plausible plot before you get to any boy/boy action. By then the slash-haters will have stopped reading.

2 - Misleading summaries. You don't want to draw in people who will be Shocked and Upset. Describe the plot in the summary.

3 - Too-clear indications of slash in the summary. Those draw anti-slash trolls. You put the indication that it's slash in the A/N inside, after the person is clicked on it via the summary. This may seem like a contradiction to 2, but it isn't. If you have a good story, slash isn't the most important element.

4 - Bizarre squicky pairings. It's a fact that many R and even PG-13 stories with, say, Dumbledore/Snape pairings have been pulled down because some readers couldn't handle it. If you put them up, don't put the pairing in the summary, describe the plot.

I've tested this. A friend put up a Dumbledore/Snape story that was R-rated but doesn't have more than a kiss in it. At the same time I deliberately put up a steamy Harry/Ron anal-sex scene. Hers has been pulled down several times. Mine's never been touched.

5 - If someone accuses your story of violating the TOU, even if they're wrong -- pull it down of your accord. Wait a while. Then you can put it back up. Otherwise you'll probably have all of your stories examined with a fine-toothed comb. I did this with 'Rising Sun' which is a very high R (skimmed the rating very close on FA and had to work with Heidi and CLS to make sure it fit the standards).

Note that 'Rising Sun' violates rule number one: the sex comes first, then the plot develops. The accusation was actually a positive review, someone gloating that I was among the authors who were putting up NC-17 stories and calling them R-rated. They noted it in their livejournal for others. I pulled the story immediately.

Remember. On ff.net, obscurity is your friend.

Alright. There are those who have the mistaken impression that Beta-review is a quick scan for glaring grammatical errors before you slap your work up on a website. This is a waste of your Beta's time and talents. UnBeta'd work should never mean uncorrected work. You should have proofed everything yourself, and not left the dirty scrubbing for your Beta (I've Beta'd for people who didn't even spellcheck).

A Beta, in my book, is an editor, with full editorial responsibilities.

A good Beta should be able to check:

1- Grammar, punctuation and spelling.
2- Consistency and continuity.
3- Pacing, plot holes, characterisation and phrasing.

All changes should be indicated in a different color or bold or some such so the author can see what they needed to correct. This teaches the author their consistent mistakes, for starters. And catches mistakes the Beta may have made (for example, changing British spellings to American).

How should corrections be handled?

1 - Grammar, punctuation and spelling should be simply corrected.

2 - Inconsistencies (first Ron has blue eyes, next he has brown) and continuity issues (Fred walked through the door, then he opened it) should be pointed out, but the correction should be left to the author.

3 - Corrections to the pacing, amending plot holes, fixing characterisation and especially changes to phrasing should be left to the author. It works best to phrase these as a question, to draw out the author's vision and creativity rather than trying create your own work. You may produce an outstanding turn of phrase, but it won't reflect the author's intent.

The conversation that should take place between a Beta and their Writer before any editing takes place:

What do you want me to check?
And...
when do you expect this done?
And...
what do you think needs work?

Treating your Beta well.

This is important.

First: give credit for the work they've done in your Author comments. Someone volunteered to slog through your writing, not the easiest of tasks, on their own free time. Say thank you. Sincerely. Even if a Beta doesn't work out, credit them for their efforts.

Second: don't get mad if they point out errors. This is their job. Yes, yes, I realise your story is close to your heart, and a good Beta is sensitive and polite. But you've asked for this (see the conversation that should have taken place..). I can't tell you how often people are defensive. I am guilty as charged.

Third: respond. When someone has Beta'd your work, send back the final corrected version, preferably with your comments. If you don't use a change, explain why. Don't be shy. It will shed light onto your writing style. If a Beta asks a question, answer it.

Fourth: where appropriate, take their advice. If there isn't a darned good reason not to, it's probably best to listen. Writers are myopic where their writing is concerned.

Betas should choose carefully whom they edit:

1 - Edit only stories that you like. If you hate AU, and a friend asks you to Beta an AU for them - don't do it. (Personal experience.) You can't be fair, no matter how well-written it is, no matter how hard you try.
2 - Send back unspellchecked documents and tell the author to do that part. Trust me, it's best to break people of that habit.
3 - Teach the people you Beta for. Most people have no idea how to utilize a Beta, and need to be told what is expected of them.
4 - Don't Beta for people who ignore your advice. There's nothing worse than to have spent all that time going through a document, been credited for the Beta review, only to discover they didn't even use your spelling corrections. Don't laugh. It's happened to me.

Making good use of Betas will improve your writing immensely.

Treating your Beta well will help guarantee that good Betas continue to make the take the time to edit for other people.

And taking care who you Beta for will keep you from uselessly spinning your wheels.

A great Beta/Writer relationship can last over many stories, and grow more interesting and insightful as a story developes between the two of you and in your hands. I've had that happen with several Betas now, and I count myself lucky.

Your truly,
~Icarus

What Poetry form am I?

A cywydd llosgyrnog; I'm one. "A what?" Well, quite. There'd be no fun In being understood; I Thrive upon obliquity. Don't comprehend or follow me, For mystery's my ally. What Poetry Form Are You?