Meditation on trolls
May. 14th, 2005 04:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusShantideva says that it's beneficial to have people who are rude or unkind to you, because if we're always surrounded by that which is pleasing, we'll never be able to practice patience. We become spoiled little Divas with brittle egos.
At the same time, we can't be a doormat and let childish behaviour go unchecked where it's our responsibility (say in a classroom where we're the authority figure).
So be gentle with and treasure your trolls, watch your mind, but don't allow them to run roughshod over people. Eventually I did ban my recent troll.
On religion.
Religion can be a very powerful changing force in one's life. It can be a fresh breeze that clears away your issues and brings clarity -- often painful, unpleasant clearity. :) But one of my teachers once said that you can build a beautiful temple and have it be no better than "an abode of demons." It depends on the motivation. If you do it to benefit others, with compassion, the good it might be worthwhile.
If you use your religion as an excuse for the anger you have, just looking for targets, you might as well not be religious. It's not doing you any good.
If you believe you're "superior" to others by virtue of your religion, then it's just armor-plating, and you're actually going to get more rigid and hard-hearted.
In a way it's normal. We're only human, and if we tend to be "fighters," we'll join a religion in order to crusade. If we need a prop for our egos, we'll tend to use religion to salve our wounds.
In the beginning you need to memorize teachings that you don't understand yet; you need a guide or mentor who'll whack you over the head; you need a wake-up call.
It takes time to realize that religion is personal, not political.
The nuns I lived with were always pointing fingers at each other ("she's not following the dress code properly" and/or "she's wasn't at evening practice" or "she didn't do the dishes"). The Lama had to remind them that their job was to look after their own hearts and minds, that they don't know what's going on with other people.
When I started working to clean up some corruption I uncovered, it was easy for me to focus externally on problems within the religion. At first that was okay; there were some actions that probably needed to be taken. But over time I became really hard-hearted and ruthless. My compassion slid, and I allowed myself to be righteously angry -- and stay in that place -- forgetting that I have no power over others. Naturally my frustration with religious groups increased, until I saw only faults; I could belong to no spiritual group for very long. I acted as though my faults were minor compared to everyone else's, or irrelevant anyways. And I didn't notice the arrogance.
I know first-hand how religion can become a poison, and, hopefully, I know the way out of that quagmire. So this is my advice for religious trolls. You will only become more angry, not less, and you'll ruin the good qualities you have.
I only have power over my own actions, so religion can only be personal. Pointing out the faults of others accomplishes nothing. Only recently have I remembered what I've been told over and over again, that people are just doing the best they can.
This public service message has been brought to you by the letter 'R.'
At the same time, we can't be a doormat and let childish behaviour go unchecked where it's our responsibility (say in a classroom where we're the authority figure).
So be gentle with and treasure your trolls, watch your mind, but don't allow them to run roughshod over people. Eventually I did ban my recent troll.
On religion.
Religion can be a very powerful changing force in one's life. It can be a fresh breeze that clears away your issues and brings clarity -- often painful, unpleasant clearity. :) But one of my teachers once said that you can build a beautiful temple and have it be no better than "an abode of demons." It depends on the motivation. If you do it to benefit others, with compassion, the good it might be worthwhile.
If you use your religion as an excuse for the anger you have, just looking for targets, you might as well not be religious. It's not doing you any good.
If you believe you're "superior" to others by virtue of your religion, then it's just armor-plating, and you're actually going to get more rigid and hard-hearted.
In a way it's normal. We're only human, and if we tend to be "fighters," we'll join a religion in order to crusade. If we need a prop for our egos, we'll tend to use religion to salve our wounds.
In the beginning you need to memorize teachings that you don't understand yet; you need a guide or mentor who'll whack you over the head; you need a wake-up call.
It takes time to realize that religion is personal, not political.
The nuns I lived with were always pointing fingers at each other ("she's not following the dress code properly" and/or "she's wasn't at evening practice" or "she didn't do the dishes"). The Lama had to remind them that their job was to look after their own hearts and minds, that they don't know what's going on with other people.
When I started working to clean up some corruption I uncovered, it was easy for me to focus externally on problems within the religion. At first that was okay; there were some actions that probably needed to be taken. But over time I became really hard-hearted and ruthless. My compassion slid, and I allowed myself to be righteously angry -- and stay in that place -- forgetting that I have no power over others. Naturally my frustration with religious groups increased, until I saw only faults; I could belong to no spiritual group for very long. I acted as though my faults were minor compared to everyone else's, or irrelevant anyways. And I didn't notice the arrogance.
I know first-hand how religion can become a poison, and, hopefully, I know the way out of that quagmire. So this is my advice for religious trolls. You will only become more angry, not less, and you'll ruin the good qualities you have.
I only have power over my own actions, so religion can only be personal. Pointing out the faults of others accomplishes nothing. Only recently have I remembered what I've been told over and over again, that people are just doing the best they can.
This public service message has been brought to you by the letter 'R.'
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-05-14 04:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-14 04:49 pm (UTC)Writing this, well it came enough out of personal experience that it was a little like sky-diving: not exactly sure how the landing will go.
At least it's helpful to someone.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2005-05-14 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-14 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-14 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-14 11:35 pm (UTC)<3333333333333,
Miranda
no subject
Date: 2005-05-16 03:11 am (UTC)I think you might just have described for me why I'm always so interested in hearing people's individual religious explorations, insights, what have you, while still feeling deeply suspicious of religion-in-general.
I have a complicated relationship to the religion I was raised in, because it's both a practice and a tribal affiliation, and while practice is volitional, affiliation isn't. And the one I studied for about fifteen years, while still philosophically appealing, has not been much of a comfort in recent years, and has come to seem almost irrelevant.
Your thoughts on compassion and applying it to daily life have always been a reminder to me of what's really important. Thank you.