FICLET: One Thousand Reasons, Harry and Snape. PG-13

[icarus]

This drabble is was requested by painless_j on behalf of aubrem:

One Thousand Reasons
By Icarus



Harry ducked behind a boulder as the spell skimmed overhead, white-hot and singeing. It sprayed across the rock behind him in a splash of white, turning it ochre and rancid as the mosses died. The attack paused, and Harry heard a low gasping breath off to his left. A greasy dark figure was curled at the base of the boulder.

"Snape," he whispered.

"Hsst! Find your own refuge, Potter," Snape hissed at him. His black eyes gleamed in the dark. "Perhaps your aim is to bring the attack down on me you spiteful little wretch, but rest assured: unlike your besotted fans, I will take no extraordinary measures to save your hide."

"I ought to leave you here," Harry said, stripping off his outer cloak. "But I'm not like that. I'll transform, and you can climb up and we'll get out of here."

"Transform?" Snape sat up a little, clearly startled. Then he sneered. "Taking after your family and marking every tree, are you? You Animagi are all alike. You think it's a solution to everything."

"Take it or leave it, Snape," Harry said, in a tone that Hermione would protest. "You go ahead and transform yourself then."

Snape froze.

Harry added in the cold sudden silence, "Professor McGonagall told me you learned. After you found about Sirius'."

"Black would have never gotten away with so much had he not had the audacity to attempt that in school!" Snape uncurled from his crouch at the base of the boulder. "If you know so much, then surely you know it is not necessarily useful. No one, not even Dumbledore, can choose the form."

Harry bundled his cloak around his waist and drew his wand, nodding absently. "You can climb up onto my fur and hang on."

Snape paused, his eyes sliding to the left and right, as if seeking escape or guidance. Finally he said, "Very well."

Within seconds the dark shadow of Snape shrank and elongated on the ground, wriggling. It lightened and squirmed. Harry took a step back. At his feet was a writhing, silvery centipede, almost a foot long. It crawled towards him, rising up on its front legs eagerly as Harry backed away.

After a long moment, it darkened and Snape appeared in its place.

"Afraid, Potter?" he said in a low, pleased voice.

"I'm afraid I might step on you," Harry said in disgust.

"I would not recommend it." Snape leaned closer until Harry could see his yellow teeth. "This particular variety is especially poisonous."

"I'm not afraid," Harry said, and hardened his jaw. To prove it, he drew his wand and circled the complex patterns in the air. His body began to stretch and lengthen, fur bristling along his face, itching.

Then Harry stamped his hooves, tossing his antlers a bit, trying not to let the whites of his eyes show. But he couldn't help it in this form. Stags were fast; but they were also hunted and afraid.

"Then the more fool you," Snape answered, and seized an antler. He smiled. "Stay absolutely still as I climb," he said in Harry's ear. The ear flicked. "Or else I won't be able to prevent the bite."

Comments

[painless-j.livejournal.com]

Oh wow! Absolutely wow! It's perfect, it really is. Thank you so much!

So, you follow the theory that one should wave his/her wand to transform?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Theoretically, yes. ;) Though one could hedge one's bets (given Sirius' ability to transform in his cell, where obviously he would have his wand) and say that experienced Animagi wouldn't need it.

I'm glad you liked it, though I'm sorry it's not slash. I guess I'm mentally preparing for HBP.

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Would 'not' have his wand I mean. Heh.

Icarus

[cordelia_v]

rest assured: unlike your besotted fans, I will take no extraordinary measures to save your hide.

With a meta line like that, it didn't need to be slash, dear. I barely refrained from spraying soda all over my keyboard.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

He's so full of shit, isn't he? The joy of writing Snape is his bizarre combination self-deception and brutal honesty.

And I love Percy's self-deception, too. Hmm. This may be telling. ;)

Icarus

[cordelia_v]

I'm online tonight, if you want to explore these parallels in more detail . . .

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I sense an alluring lure. Shiny, shiny. To bite or not to bite, that is the question... whether 'tis nobler to --

Icarus

[cordelia_v]

Oh, hell. That did it. Just tore a hole right through my careful, intricate strategies for not thinking about essays. I began just by opening up the file where I'm keeping a long list of ideas for essay in August, and started making notes for a comparison of Snape's lies vs. Percy's. And then, suddenly realized that it was already up to 5 long paragraphs.

Just don't say things like that, OK? I mean, I was just pouring out ideas all day for the RL ms, and now I can't turn that part of my brain off. *whimpers with frustration*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

*drags Percy and Snape in front of you, speaking of lures.*

However, Percy is looking offended, while Snape's eyes are starting to narrow dangerous and I fear for my cat, my closest relatives, and anyone else he can get his hands on.

Let me get this drabble done. Darn it if that Ron/Draco tidbit for ella_bane isn't already tapping at the door.

Icarus

[cordelia_v]

I'll be around later, still cursing your lures.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*Icarus puts on glasses and rereads.*

A list of lies, do you say? Oh, do tell! This is already very interesting.

Icarus

[cordelia_v]

Not a list of lies, per se. Although yes, I have some choice examples. More a meditation on how they each lie, and for what purposes. And how this makes it harder for the reader to detect Snape's lies.

*stamps foot* Stop it! No, I'm not going to write this all out now on lj, for God and everyone to see.

*incants shield spell, to protect herself against essay bunnies*

[cordelia_v]

I mean, you'd really better watch what you're getting into, here.

The last time this happened a couple of weeks ago, when Atra got involved with a essay ideas I was hellbent on not writing, because I have taken a vow of fucking abstinence on essay writing, she ended up translating the idea into a ficlet, here for me. It's IBD Snape, so you know you might as well give in, and go see what awaits you if you don't stop with the lure business.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*stuffs hand into mouth, in an attempt to stop teasing.*

Percy blinks up at cordelia_v. "I've no idea what you're talking about. I have always been a very honest person."

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

God. That ficlet is brilliant. Especially in that Snape actually successfully manages to cross the chasm. My estimation of him as a teacher just went up. It's usually such a hopeless task.

Icarus

[cordelia_v]

Of course it was brilliant. It was my idea, and Atra's a staggeringly gifted writer.

I'd been spamming her in chat with this essay outline the night before, just pasting in paragraph after paragraph of text. (and how I can reconcile this behavior with the firm belief that I'm keeping to my vow of abstinence, God alone only knows. I'm hoping that She has a soft spot for hypocrites like me and Percy) And the next day, Atra just translated it into a ficlet. And it was so much better than I could have done, on my own.

In fact, that ficlet gave me at least another week's worth of will power on the vow, since it demonstrated that fictional expression of an idea was far superior, so why should I bother?

That same day, I turned that meditation into a post on writing ah, but it was so not an essay; you can go look at it, if you like. It was the post just before this ficlet post. My post in itself was not remarkable, but it evoked a series of lengthy and thoughtful responses from fanfic writers on my flist, about the different processes of writing fiction vs. non-fiction.


"But no," Cordelia shook her head firmly. "I haven't written anything like an essay or review for, oh, about six weeks now." She smiled at Icarus, apparently quite satisfied with herself.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm counting your "not reviews" in your journal.

"But - but... they're recs...."

Icarus: "Three, four, five...."

[cordelia_v]

"But a rec is certainly not the same thing as a review," Cordelia explained earnestly to Icarus. Cordelia knew that Icarus had not had the benefit of a good Catholic education, and was simply unable to grasp the fine but crucial distinction between a venial and a mortal sin, after all.

"If it's less than four sentences, it simply cannot be a review," she said, giving Icarus a pitying look. "Even if it's loaded with adjectives, deftly summarizes the heart of the story's appeal, and seduces half the flist into clicking on the link, it's still not a review if it doesn't meet the necessary length requirements."

Percy cast a sideways glance at Cordelia. He'd become familiar with this sort of Catholic logic chopping after months of working with Cordelia in committee.

Of course, he reflected, it wasn't all bad. Some Catholic girls he knew, intent on preserving their virginity, had gotten awfully good at oral not sex, and might even be enthusiastic devotees of anal penetration. But of course, they could still wear white to their weddings, with a clear conscience.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Who here votes Penelope Clearwater was a classic Catholic girl? *raises hand*

Icarus

[cordelia_v]

*coughs* Well, yes. I did have her in mind. Her fierce determination to hold on to her virtue, combined with her willingness to . . .explore other avenues, helped Percy to avoid confronting some aspects of heterosexuality head-on for several years.

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

oh god, that's creepy and fantastic. Thank you!

Snape the long poisonous silver millipede and that idiot Gryffindor. Snape may be pulling a little self-deception here regarding his protection of Harry but he fools me too - in fact he scares the hell out of me with his slyness and malevolence.

The millipede is genius. Weak and dangerous and creepy.

Great stuff!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I was noticing that Animagi always seemed to be something pleasant or at least impressive (unless you count Peter). Snape was unaware that Harry didn't know his Animagus form, but once he figured out Harry was surprised, he took full advantage. In truth, he was not at all pleased to have exposed his weakness there, which is why he emphasized how poisonous it was.

What? You believed him?

Icarus

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

I believed his nastiness! He was creepy beyong creepiness with those yellow teeth and sly looking sideways.
And ... millipedes ... ::shudder::

Brilliant. Now I want to see Harry wanting him because he finds nasty creepy millipede animagi hot. : )

[cordelia_v]

Or perhaps he's aroused in spite of himself, as the nasty creepy millipede,with its velvet soft skin, slides across a sensitive spot on his neck.

Query: if they're both in a transformed state, is that bestiality?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Honestly, as a good Catholic girl you should know the hair-splitting involved: it is only bestiality if one of the participants is in human form. Bestiality refers to the physical act, and does not take into account the minds involved. ;)

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*blinks* Can it be done?


Harry stretched out on the ground, his chin pillowed on folded arms. The millipede climbed up the branch Harry had offered, then wavered, hesitant. Harry wondered how long it would be before Snape would be able to return to his own form, and if it ate leaves like caterpillars, or something else. Cautiously it began to nose at one of the leaves, nibbling delicately.

"I guess you're not such a bad sort," Harry said, thinking out loud. His eyes softened. "The animagus form tells us a lot, doesn't it?" He reached out a hand to stroke it the soft slightly fuzzed body. The millipede pulled away, its upper body almost falling off the branch. "Oh. Sorry. I guess I forget how helpless you are like that." He offered it another leaf. "That's kind of the truth, isn't it?"

Harry had a sudden idea. Shutting his eyes, he visualised the long body as a snake. Then said, "Snape? You in there?"

The millipede hissed back, "Yes, you idiot! You almost got us killed. Now hand over that leaf and release it - now - or else I will bite you."

Harry smiled, and decided not to mention he'd covered magical giant millipedes in Care of Magical Creatures. Snape was the 'fake' kind. As the millipede's head tipped and tore at the leaf, Harry's fingertip slid along its fuzz. He was surprised to find it warm and soft.

The creature turned a baleful eye on Harry, but kept eating.



Icarus

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

ok, confirmed not poisonous but ... parseltongue? Do I need to google millipedes? ::is curious as all hell::

I bet all those legs feel iiinteresting .... : )

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Heh. I would imagine it wouldn't work. I'm stretching canon as far as it will go.

Icarus

[djin7.livejournal.com]

Very cool drabble. I honestly hope that Harry amazes us yet again (a la Patronus) in the new book with an Animagus form.
On an unrelated note-this story brings to mind an old indian proverb I had heard about the fox and the scorpion. Readers digest version: Fox agrees to transport scorpion across the river on his back, guaranteeing the scorpion will not bite him, because if it does, they both drown. Scorpion bites him anyways, and as they are going down, the fox asks the scorpion why it would forfeit its own life just to bite the fox. "Because it is my nature." says the scorpion.
Just thought I'd pass that along.
Thanks for sharing this, cheers!

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know the proverb well. *nods* Yes, I had it in mind.

Icarus

[hilarita.livejournal.com]

I love how defensive you've made Snape.

As for HBP, I'm wondering how long it'll take before the first HBP-influenced fanfic hits the net. I'm betting within 48hrs.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It took me a while to soak in OotP, myself. I did write HP fanfic right afterwards, but it was Skinny Dipping (http://www.icarus.slashcity.net/stories/skinnydipping.html), which is solidly set at the beginning of GoF.

Icarus

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Huh... that's cool. I've never seen anyone write an animagus option like that! Love it.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

Hmm. It appears I have another drabble in the works, for someone named, um, *reads* iibnf. Have you heard of her?

Icarus

[tjstein.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! You have a great imagination. And I've always loved your little bits of realism like the flicking ear.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Hi, thank you. The ear's from a time I tried to coo at a Llama. *flick-flick, panicked look* They're as shy as bunnies, you know?

Icarus

[aquatryst.livejournal.com]

This was perfect imagery:

"Then Harry stamped his hooves, tossing his antlers a bit, trying not to let the whites of his eyes show."

I googled centipedes as I knew next to nothing about them, and found out they're "fast-running", "carnivorous" and that some large species attack small vertebrates.

Oh Snape.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Fast-running and carnivorous? Gosh, I had no idea. That really fits.

Icarus

[skuf.livejournal.com]

Way too short! Wonderful writing/narration.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Four more to go. ;)

Icarus