How To Write A DVD Commentary
Aug. 25th, 2006 07:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusRead a couple DVD commentaries today. Yep, still sick. It'll be nice to have my voice back someday. *cough, cough*
So, my enormous Maine Coon kitty's using my lap as a footstool as he snoozes, WG's at work (and refused to kiss me as he left because I'm still sick, *hack, cough*) and I'm reading DVD commentaries.
Conclusion: Most writers write terrible DVD commentaries.
Good lord.
The stories themselves are great. But the writers sound like parents talking about their darling children. "Ralphie is a Science major and he gets all A's and...."
There's no sense of perspective. The very writer who has a brilliant grasp of pacing in their stories, given carte blanche on a commentary, steps into a time dilation field and drones on about the breathtaking moment of beauty when they conceived The Story. The Moment-In-The-Checkout-Line that started it all. Which is actually worse than most parents because at least they don't (usually) tell us about the awesome sex they had the day of conception. "It was in the morning and she went down on me and then I..."
(Actually, a checkout line would be a nice change of pace. Let's just agree that we all discuss our story ideas in chat/email/comments to another story and move on, eh?) All this tells us is: in the beginning the story began.
Then when turned loose on their own recognizance, writers offer up these deep insights:
Writer analysis: "I wanted to build a sense of tension."
Ya think?
In some cases, the very author whose plotting is infinitely complex approaches the commentary with the relentless linear mindset of a bug climbing a wall, giving us every brain fart that crossed their mind while writing the Story. Momentarily interesting (if embarrassing to watch) are the blips of defensiveness and reactions to this or that harsh review.
I mock, yet I am just as guilty. I simply didn't see it until I read other people's commentaries.
Some people say that authors are incapable of analyzing their own work. I do not believe that. I just think they don't know how. Everything they know about writing goes out the window when confronted with a request to write a commentary. Buh? You want what?
There is a process, however. Help is on the way.
Step 1: Consider the audience. What will the readers find interesting?
This isn't your home-movie moment with a captive audience to torment. What is genuinely different about that story they might not already know? Think, what got the readers interested in the first place? Are there bits of plot that you cut but wish you could have kept?
Step 2: Pick an approach, preferably based on audience interest. There are all kinds of options.
- Was this written three years ago in response to other stories or past events in canon that can help the reader contextualize it?
- Was the story drawn from a real life anecdote that might be interesting in and of itself?
- Does the story comment on some event in the world, or in fandom, today?
- Are there stylistic choices that make your story unique or interesting, something you can take apart structurally or linguistically?
- Are there events that went on in the publication of the story that (here's an important caveat) readers might find interesting?
- Is it drawn from some literary or other unexpected background? Have you hidden references to "The Story Of O" in your Gen-fic, for example?
- Did you learn something about canon, or develop resources that other writers might want to pursue?
This has a dual benefit. It gives your story a gloss that's interesting, and it causes you to step outside of yourself and your fic. The odd thing is that when people ask about your story, they don't want to know about the story, they want to know something other than story that's related. Ha.
Step 3: Choose your voice. Be entertaining.
This doesn't mean you have to be a buffoon on a bouncing stick. Intellectual writing is also fascinating. But do not forget you're still a writer.
Step 4: Have your commentary beta'd.
If anyone's reading your commentary, you're probably a good enough writer to catch your own SPAG errors. But commentaries are wide open in terms of style and approach, so you're flying without a net unless you have a beta to ask questions.
Step 0: I should have put this first. Only write the commentary if the subject warrants it.
That popular PWP or adventure fic may not have enough meat on its bones for you to say much about it. Even if people ask for a commentary, examine whether there is anything more. Maybe it's all in the fic. If so, save yourself the headache.
Now. I suppose I should follow my own advice, eh?
ETA: Was that too sarcastic? Some of the commentaries I just read were really bad.
ETA2: Added step four, probably the most vital.
So, my enormous Maine Coon kitty's using my lap as a footstool as he snoozes, WG's at work (and refused to kiss me as he left because I'm still sick, *hack, cough*) and I'm reading DVD commentaries.
Conclusion: Most writers write terrible DVD commentaries.
Good lord.
The stories themselves are great. But the writers sound like parents talking about their darling children. "Ralphie is a Science major and he gets all A's and...."
There's no sense of perspective. The very writer who has a brilliant grasp of pacing in their stories, given carte blanche on a commentary, steps into a time dilation field and drones on about the breathtaking moment of beauty when they conceived The Story. The Moment-In-The-Checkout-Line that started it all. Which is actually worse than most parents because at least they don't (usually) tell us about the awesome sex they had the day of conception. "It was in the morning and she went down on me and then I..."
(Actually, a checkout line would be a nice change of pace. Let's just agree that we all discuss our story ideas in chat/email/comments to another story and move on, eh?) All this tells us is: in the beginning the story began.
Then when turned loose on their own recognizance, writers offer up these deep insights:
Ronon hung by his toenails on the edge of a cliff.
Writer analysis: "I wanted to build a sense of tension."
Ya think?
In some cases, the very author whose plotting is infinitely complex approaches the commentary with the relentless linear mindset of a bug climbing a wall, giving us every brain fart that crossed their mind while writing the Story. Momentarily interesting (if embarrassing to watch) are the blips of defensiveness and reactions to this or that harsh review.
I mock, yet I am just as guilty. I simply didn't see it until I read other people's commentaries.
Some people say that authors are incapable of analyzing their own work. I do not believe that. I just think they don't know how. Everything they know about writing goes out the window when confronted with a request to write a commentary. Buh? You want what?
There is a process, however. Help is on the way.
Step 1: Consider the audience. What will the readers find interesting?
This isn't your home-movie moment with a captive audience to torment. What is genuinely different about that story they might not already know? Think, what got the readers interested in the first place? Are there bits of plot that you cut but wish you could have kept?
Step 2: Pick an approach, preferably based on audience interest. There are all kinds of options.
- Was this written three years ago in response to other stories or past events in canon that can help the reader contextualize it?
- Was the story drawn from a real life anecdote that might be interesting in and of itself?
- Does the story comment on some event in the world, or in fandom, today?
- Are there stylistic choices that make your story unique or interesting, something you can take apart structurally or linguistically?
- Are there events that went on in the publication of the story that (here's an important caveat) readers might find interesting?
- Is it drawn from some literary or other unexpected background? Have you hidden references to "The Story Of O" in your Gen-fic, for example?
- Did you learn something about canon, or develop resources that other writers might want to pursue?
This has a dual benefit. It gives your story a gloss that's interesting, and it causes you to step outside of yourself and your fic. The odd thing is that when people ask about your story, they don't want to know about the story, they want to know something other than story that's related. Ha.
Step 3: Choose your voice. Be entertaining.
This doesn't mean you have to be a buffoon on a bouncing stick. Intellectual writing is also fascinating. But do not forget you're still a writer.
Step 4: Have your commentary beta'd.
If anyone's reading your commentary, you're probably a good enough writer to catch your own SPAG errors. But commentaries are wide open in terms of style and approach, so you're flying without a net unless you have a beta to ask questions.
Step 0: I should have put this first. Only write the commentary if the subject warrants it.
That popular PWP or adventure fic may not have enough meat on its bones for you to say much about it. Even if people ask for a commentary, examine whether there is anything more. Maybe it's all in the fic. If so, save yourself the headache.
Now. I suppose I should follow my own advice, eh?
ETA: Was that too sarcastic? Some of the commentaries I just read were really bad.
ETA2: Added step four, probably the most vital.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 07:54 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 07:09 pm (UTC)And OMG, your cat is a Maine Coon? Seriously? They are, awww, they are like goodnatured tigers! I always wanted one but then decided that I might not be always up to 10 kilos of cat on me. The 5.5 that mine weighs often seem too much. But awww, I love Maine Coons.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 08:08 pm (UTC)Maine Coons are interesting. They're very devoted and like to keep you within visual range. Fairly typical for them to sit a doorway where they can see everyone. He's particularly attached to WG, which is another Maine Coon trait. They'll love everyone, but one person becomes "theirs." The double-fur coat repels water effectively, so they tend to like to play in the water.
No one can explain why he like asparagus, though. That remains a mystery.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 08:49 pm (UTC)But, yes, above all things, be entertaining. That's a good rule for life. :)
Also: I'm still scarred from listening to George Lucas talk about how SUBTLE his dialogue was.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 09:03 pm (UTC)Also: I'm still scarred from listening to George Lucas talk about how SUBTLE his dialogue was.
Ha! Now that's entertainment. I suppose that's what happens when Joseph Campbell hangs out and says you're doing something profound (ignoring the entire genre of literature the trilogy came from).
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-27 06:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-27 06:19 pm (UTC)But I persist in believing that if an author can write a powerful, insightful story, they should be able to write a powerful, insightful commentary.
Maybe I'm asking for something more than the norm. In fact, I'm sure that I am.
What I'm hearing from most people is that they don't read commentaries. If the commentaries were better, I think they would.
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-27 07:46 pm (UTC)Well, I've not read any that came off that way, so I guess I've been lucky.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 09:35 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 09:52 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 09:36 pm (UTC)Why can't we edit comments? /wistful
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-25 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 12:14 am (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 08:52 am (UTC)I've collected quite a few of your how-to posts over the couple of years I've been reading them (thinks: ever since you got a journal?). I admire their clarity and helpfulness, but I particularly like the way you sit down and nut it out, taking it seriously, doing it properly, and share with us. Not the easiest of jobs to take on voluntarily.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 07:26 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 07:18 pm (UTC)Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 07:59 pm (UTC)In fact, if you wanted to assess my one commentary, pointing out the good and bad, I'll link you. I give you permission. It's short, for a fairly short story (2500 words). But I don't think you know the fandom.
Hmm. I really would love to see a commentary on a commentary!
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 08:24 pm (UTC)I don't think it would be cruel, but I'm not one of the "only positive reviews" crowd.
I write "concrit" sandwiches when I give longer reviews. Something positive, the negative bit, followed by something positive. My mindset is that I want to encourage good writers to grow, and too much criticism is like too much water in a plant -- just because some is good doesn't mean more is better.
Here, linking to bad examples would only hold people up for ridicule, which I don't do.
Hmm. I really would love to see a commentary on a commentary!
*laughs* Why do I find that so funny?
Icarus
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 08:40 pm (UTC)http://isis.arithmancy.net/callthisworlddvd.htm
Actually, if you don't know the movie, I recommend it! I, um, have it available for download. It's got all the Standard Canadian Movie Themes in it: gay angst, alcohol abuse, dysfunctional families, cheating spouses, and suicide attempts. Oh, and it's a comedy.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-26 08:50 pm (UTC)Icarus
An observation...
Date: 2006-08-26 07:22 pm (UTC)Icarus *adds to the Guide*
Re: An observation...
Date: 2006-08-26 07:57 pm (UTC)I ordinarily just write "story notes" which I post at the same time as the story. Many people have said they like them. I recently wrote a DVD commentary for the first time. I got a small amount of fb on the format, but no feedback on the commentary itself. (I'd point you, but I don't think it's a fandom you read.)
I feel a tad hypocritical, because personally I don't read DVD commentaries on stories. I've read a few, and I find them distracting and not very interesting.
I think that part of what works about notes as opposed to commentaries is that in notes I only comment on particular aspects that I feel noteworthy. For the commentary I felt obliged to "keep talking" and perhaps it didn't work so well, I don't know.
Must think more on this.
Re: An observation...
Date: 2006-08-26 08:40 pm (UTC)I like the idea of DVD commentaries in theory. I read them with high hopes of being able to view an excellent story through new eyes.
I've written two DVD commentaries. The second had a lot of good information (by which I mean it went beyond the story into analyzing canon and people responded positively to it) but was overly defensive, like a soccer mom whose kid had been benched (the response to that aspect wasn't so positive :).
The first I was told didn't add anything to the story, and they were right. It was a classic example of exactly what I'm describing here: a retelling of the story of "how it came to be" with my own reactions and feelings.
So I'm going to make a third try. This is definitely a work in progress.
Icarus
Ah, I can give you an example of a bad commentary. My own.
Date: 2006-08-26 08:47 pm (UTC)It's a commentary on A 57 Vincent And A Red-Headed Boy (http://www.icarus.slashcity.net/stories/a57vincent.html). It has a self-infatuated tone, praises the story (dear lord...), repeats it with no real insight, has the usual "a story was born" linear narrative, and doesn't use any sort of critical approach.
Icarus
Re: Ah, I can give you an example of a bad commentary. My own.
Date: 2006-08-26 09:15 pm (UTC)What I did for the commentary I linked above (I encourage you to look just so you see the format) was use table format to put the story on the left side of the screen with my running comments on the right. I guess I'd characterize it as a "where these things came from" commentary - here is where I figured out what the theme was, here is where the idea of the story as a set of vignettes came from, this is a riff on one of the scenes of the movie.
But I do story notes frequently (although not for Double Occupancy! Hmm. Maybe I should try that one...but it's been over a year.) An example is at http://isiscolo.livejournal.com/258331.html which is my notes post for my
Re: Ah, I can give you an example of a bad commentary. My own.
Date: 2006-08-26 11:40 pm (UTC)First, the story-that-didn't-get-written is an interesting tidbit, exactly the sort of thing I as a reader want to know (see above "plot trimmed"). There's a reason why DVDs include deleted scenes. Also, the tone of the commentary does not have the smug proprietary pride typical of so many. I admit to being tired of the "how I thought of this story" as a narrative structure though.
The canon analysis is a little bit helpful, if a bit too focused on minute canon details. As a reader I'm unlikely to have noticed the instant Ronon handled Carson's bags roughly. But once we get into the analysis of Carson as a homosexual man, you had my interest.
This also made a good basis for Ronon's attraction to him, because as a Runner he could afford neither to be cared about, nor to care for anyone
Exactly the sort of insight I want to hear if the commentary is going to discuss characterization. It's food for thought that can fuel other writers' thoughts about Ronon. This is what I mean by going beyond the story.
There isn't too much rehashing of the story, actually, which is good. There is a bit more about how you as an author felt about the story. The author's feelings aren't all that interesting to me. The ending "I think the result is mmm sexy and I'm very happy with it!" is cutesy and throw-away. In fiction we close our stories carefully. Why not do the same with our commentaries?
It's a relief not to have the side-by-side commentary style. I find that distracting and not particularly helpful. No matter how interesting the story, not everything is worth discussing. Better to focus on specific aspects as you have here.
I was more critical than I'd normally be, since you asked, but overall this quite a bit better than most of the commentaries I've read.
Icarus
Re: Ah, I can give you an example of a bad commentary. My own.
Date: 2006-08-26 11:51 pm (UTC)(Which is essentially what you argue in your post here, isn't it!)
As I said, I don't think of this sort of thing as a DVD commentary as much as just story notes. But I wonder what others think of when they ask for commentaries, and I wonder which forms people prefer in general. Hmm. I still think I need to mull things over a bit, but I think it's a worthwhile topic of discussion.
Re: Ah, I can give you an example of a bad commentary. My own.
Date: 2006-08-27 12:30 am (UTC)Icarus
Re: An observation...
Date: 2006-08-27 07:57 pm (UTC)See, and I really like that. I devour author's notes and love reading other people's memes about writing, discussion about stories, etc., sometimes even when I've not read the story in question nor ever plan to. So whether it's called commentary or notes or what, I'm pretty happy with reading anything the author has to say about the story, whether it be their feelings on it, analysis, or discussion of process.
Re: An observation...
Date: 2006-08-27 09:56 pm (UTC)Icarus
Re: An observation...
Date: 2006-08-27 09:59 pm (UTC)Re: An observation...
Date: 2006-08-27 10:10 pm (UTC)Icarus
Re: An observation...
Date: 2006-08-28 04:21 am (UTC)Icarus