Thoughts on impermanence.

[icarus]

It occurs to me that my birthday is coming soon.

It occurs to me that I'm coming up on 40.

It occurs to me that if I live till I'm 80, that's the half-way point.

It occurs to me that my dad's health issues started when he was in his early 60s.

So it occurs to me that I really, conservatively, have 25 years left where I can (hopefully) function as I do now. (Yes, I know many spry people in their 70s and 80s and my grandfather was one of them, though he was an early health nut and took better care of his body than I have.)

Hmm.

Comments

[bruinsfan.livejournal.com]

I actually took comfort a couple of years ago in finding out that I have freakishly early-onset high blood pressure. The thought of gradually becoming invalid and senile late in life as I saw one of my grandmothers do, or becoming more and more decrepit as my father is currently doing, scares me a lot more than flat-out dying. Barring accidental death in the next 30 years I'm probably going to go out by stroke, and odds are decent that it'll be a quick cerebral M-80 rather than a series of gradually worsening smaller ones.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

WG wants to go quick and fast. He says if he's ever disabled, just shoot him like a lame horse. (I tell him no way in hell, because he does say it very emphatically.) My nightmare would be if my mind went.

Icarus

[bruinsfan.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on that one. My Dad's been disabled for the last 25 years, so while it wouldn't be cakes and tea I know how one goes about coping and would have excellent advice to draw on. As long as I had my eyesight and ability to draw I think I could deal. But once dementia or other mental incapacities pass a certain point, there's no you anymore—terrifying.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Yes. I have a friend whose mother suffered from dementia and she turned into what she was as a child only considerably more crabby. I guess if we work on our fundamental good qualities then even if dementia hit we'll be in better shape.

Icarus