SGA FIC: Out Of Bounds, new opening chapter, John/Rodney, NC-17 (someday)

[icarus]

I don't know why I have a feeling I should post this now, I just do. So you now get to see what only teaphile has read (thank you, teaphile, uh... am I too late on those covers?).

Title: Out Of Bounds
Pairing: John/Rodney
Summary: The skating fic.

Out Of Bounds
by Icarus


His scores echoed throughout the rink, loud and unintelligible like an airport announcement, canceling each other out while young skaters scoured the ice for thrown flowers and dropped gloves. The crowd was noisy and disinterested, with a smattering of applause for John, biding their time impatiently for the big names.

In the center of the ice, John Sheppard let his hands drop. He didn't look up, his shoulders heaving as he shut his eyes and skated tiredly to the Kiss-and-Cry. He accepted a bottle of water from Ed, his coach, then dropped his head to his knees, running his fingers through sweaty dark hair, which made it stand up even more, half his bangs stuck to his forehead. He was still breathing heavily.

"Five three … four point six …

"That was good, Sheppard," someone said, his footsteps loud and hollow on the raised wooden platform. John didn't notice who it was, just nodded as he slumped back against the wall, staring up at the lights as disembodied voices declared he'd moved up to thirteenth place.

"Pretty good, John," that was his coach's gravelly voice, "if Lacardi's injuries pan out you could place as high as eighth this year."

"Yeah. Thanks," John said. He took a swallow of water so he didn't have to say more.

"Better than last year," his coach added. He was met with silence. John snapped the plastic guards over the blades of his skates.

"Your jumps are good," he continued, in a determined voice. "Really very good."

"Yeah," John said, squinting at the next skater who took to the ice in a flame-red costume with trailing sleeves, head down in concentration, just as John's had been five long minutes earlier.

And that was it. John's coach patted him on the arm and John blinked up. They gathered their gear to leave the Kiss-and-Cry as Scheherazade began. The next skater made a sweeping gesture. They stepped over duct-taped microphone and camera wires and found a space on the nearest available bench. An overweight man in a warm-up jacket got up and edged by them, angling towards the snack stand, and John leaned back, pulling his gear out of the way.

There was a patter of applause as the other skater did his first double-triple combination.

"We'll work with your strengths, aim for the quad flip," his coach was saying.

John's breath misted as he let out a sigh. He bent his head and pulled a battered pair of sneakers from his bag.

"If you want to hang in there, that is. You've been at it ten years now. You might want to think about going pro." John's narrow shoulders tensed a moment in a barely perceptible pause but he didn't answer, keeping his eyes on the floor as he dug carefully around in his gym bag. "The kids sure like you."

"You think I'm doing good." John winced, unlacing his skates. He'd have to ice the knee tonight. He licked his lips as he watched his numbers disappear from the scoreboard.

"Yeah, you're good," the coach said, earnest and encouraging. "John, these are the best in the country. Few people make it this far. Eighth place, hell, even thirteenth is better than I ever hoped for."

John pursed his lips and stared off over the rink, nodding his head slowly. He got the picture. "Don't take this the wrong way, but," he said in a calm, thoughtful tone as if the idea had just occurred to him, "You're fired."

~*~*~

They met at a coffee shop a block from Rodney McKay’s little rink, after a series of phone calls through a friend of a friend. John wasn't hard to spot, wearing battered warm-ups with his skates tied together and slung over his shoulder like a teenager. He had a firm handshake, was ridiculously good-looking, tall for a skater, with a shock of unruly brown hair and sharp eyes. He was also easily in his late twenties sliding towards thirty, not much younger than Rodney.

"Nice to meet you," John said with a polite nod and diffident smile.

He didn't have a shot in hell.

"I take it Ed Wilcoxin thought you should be taken to the glue factory," Rodney answered with an amused gleam, returning the handshake with interest.

His new student -- because of course Rodney was going to take him on -- covered his laugh with a cough, his shoulders relaxing as he scuffed the floor. "Yeah. That pretty much sums it up."

Except that wasn't the half of it.



Then the story picks up where it started in the first place.

Comments

[amalthia]

I'm so glad you posted this. :)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*beams* I'm swamped, but I want to keep going on the stories -- especially Out Of Bounds. Man, I'm having trouble shaking that crap teacher's "rules."

Have you posted your porn battle yet?

Icarus

[amalthia]

Not yet, I'm at work and it's been a busy morning. But before I go to bed tonight I plan on having something posted. :)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Good. Keep the good ideas flowing forth.

[percysowner.livejournal.com]

Nice to see how it all began.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It needed it. As an SGA AU it worked where it was, but for someone not familiar with the characters already in Stargate the beginning was abrupt.

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

Niiiiice!

Also nice to see you are still working on this. *pokes you gently in the ribs*

I like that the initiative to work together came from John. It shifts the balance of power a bit.

I also liked your second porn battle story. Not so much in a OMG, hot way (I need emotional attachment to my porn characters. Faceless, nameless OC don't do it for me.), but it was an interesting bit of John character exploration.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

My track record with WIPs is pretty good.

- Primer to the Dark Arts: started 2002. 65K. Complete, 2002.

- Snape Manor: started 2003. Jossed by Order of the Phoenix.

- Beg Me For It: started 2003. 75K. Complete, 2004.

- The Walls Of Jericho: started 2004. 35K. Complete, 2005.

- Out Of Bounds: started 2006. Currently 30K.

I usually have just one WIP at a time. Usually I write short stories while I'm working on the main WIP.

Oh, yes, this story is definitely getting loving attention. While I was busy with that awful creative writing class I've gone over it and done edits to the whole of the story, written out the outline for the rest and discussed them with two betas. I've been watching skating videos and reading up on skating technique. Plus, I have tickets this weekend and the next for skating events.

As for the porn battle, yeah, neither porn story will drive you to your bunk, but I'm more in the mood for some depth right now. ;) I figured they'd make nice contrasting pieces in the porn fest.

Icarus

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

As for balance of power, yes. Ultimately John is Rodney's employer. The balance of power shifted however because John stopped actually paying Rodney. Financially Rodney can afford to teach him anyway, but now John owes him, more than just money. It's clear Rodney's committment to John's skating goes beyond what he's paid to do. What's not clear is why. Because of his interest in John? Or because he sees potential in John's skating? (Or both?)

Icarus

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

I actually felt that with the new beginning the balance shifted towards Rodney, because John was the one that came to him and not the other way around. It meant that John had realized that something wasn't working with the way he was training/skating until then. And now I need to go and re-read the old beginning to see what kind of spin that puts on John's threatening to take up hokey. Ohhh, the sacrifice.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It's funny the things you know in your head but never actually make it to paper. I gave a copy of this to a friend in Y!M and she asked me how they got together, how Rodney ended up John's teacher. It does make a difference to know that John wants this, but is starting to wear down a bit and believe the naysayers.

Icarus

[yokiem.livejournal.com]

I really liked this beginning. Gives a sense of where John was prior to Rodney. I like that John is dissatisfied with his current situation and wants to do better.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yeah, John knows he has a very narrow window to make it, and he also knows -- he feels -- that he can do more than what his coaches thought. But he's not 100% sure and there's a lot of pressure in his life to throw in the towel.

Icarus

[starrylizard.livejournal.com]

I agree with Yokiem's comment, plus I especially love the new opening paragraph. It seems to give a sense of why he might love it and hate it all at once.

And His scores echoed throughout the rink, loud and unintelligible like an airport announcement, canceling each other out puts you there on the ice with him. :)

SHall have to read the previous part one again to see how this changes things.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It seems to give a sense of why he might love it and hate it all at once.

Oh wow, that's a great description. Yes, that's how he feels about it. He loves the actual skating, the work, the pressure, the tension of the performance. He hates ... this. The dead room. Waiting to be measured. Yet they're linked together, he can't have one without the other.

Icarus

[enname.livejournal.com]

Oh look, Out of Bounds.

*beam*

Yes and have fun this weekend with the skating extravaganza :) Hopefully (bearing in mind the sanskrit swamp) you'll get there eventually. Or I mean get here, to the story, eventually.

:)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Well, the point of Out Of Bounds is to have fun with the story. It may be the right time for just that. :)

[teaphile.livejournal.com]

(thank you, teaphile, uh... am I too late on those covers?)

You're welcome, and no, you're not. They're sitting there waiting. No worries.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Ooo, wonderful. Um. The boyfriend picks #1, and the popular vote picked #2. I can't decide.

Can you do a title on both? *looks hopeful*

Icarus

[teaphile.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure. I'll try to do it sometime this week.

[reedfem.livejournal.com]

Wow, talk about damning with faint praise.

Very nice.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

At this point, no one believes in John except John.

And John has his doubts.