Family news.

[icarus]

We just called wildernessguru's mom for a "Hi, how are you." Last we heard, just a couple weeks ago, she was doing okay.

His mom wasn't available, so he talked to his dad, who said that he didn't want to talk when she might walk in at any moment. "Call your brother or sister," he said.

So WG called his brother.

wildernessguru's mom went in for a CAT scan the Monday before last. They found more tumors in her abdomen, and the tumors on her liver have grown in just the two months since she stopped chemo.

They can't do more chemo. They can't operate on her liver. At 80+ years, as weak as she is, a liver transplant is out of the question. They've decided not to do dialysis now because it's painful and with the cancer there's little point in putting her through it.

The doctors have given his mom six months to live.

wildernessguru is doing okay right now. Though he mused, "I wonder if I'll cry at the funeral." He explains that he didn't at his grandmother's, even though a lot of people did -- it didn't hit him until several days later. I told him that he's always been reserved in public. He shouldn't expect himself to be anyone other than who he is.

We're scheduling an earlier flight down, towards the beginning of February (we were going to fly down at my spring break). We can't go down sooner than that because -- drumroll for the other piece of bad news -- it turns out WG's cold isn't a cold. He went to the doctor's today and learned he has an upper respiratory viral infection, i.e., bronchitus. I apologize to the sky for ever thinking he was being melodramatic.

Um. If you have hugs, prayers, warm wishes, smiley faces, or whatever you want to send his way, he could really use it.


ETA: I have the best friendslist. Thanks, guys. I read WG all your replies and he's glowing. The kitty has been getting extra snuggles tonight and wildernessguru put on his favorite "Sex and the City" DVDs. (Yes, I have boyfriend who loves "Sex and the City." His favorite is the redhead. Oh, and he likes the clothes. Superficiality: the perfect anodyne to heavy news.) And what do I have to do tonight?

Oh yeah. Study for a Sanskrit test and write a five page paper. Hmm.

Comments

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

Best hugs & wishes for all of you.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and wow, fast response.

[slb44.livejournal.com]

You've got them all hon, hugs, prayers, lighted candles and all the positive thoughts I can muster.

You guys take care of each other.

{{{Hugs}}}

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, we will. Candles and everything are much appreciated.

[alafairnadia.livejournal.com]

wow. that sounds really awful. take care of yourselves, ok?

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, we'll do our best. Other than being sick (I ended up staying home today, though I have to turn in that paper or I miss a critical deadline) we're okay right now.

I asked WG how he was feeling and he said, "Subdued."

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Oh no. I'll be thinking of both of you.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, it's good to hear from you. It was an interesting day.

[ncp.livejournal.com]

*lots of hugs to wildernessguru*
*lots of hugs to his mother and family*
*strength for you so you can help and support him*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie.

[souliesoul.livejournal.com]

♥ Best wishes to all of you, you'll be in my thoughts.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Oh, I appreciate it, and WG does too.

[auburnnothenna.livejournal.com]

Warm wishes and sympathy from someone who just recently experienced the bombshell method of finding out about something family and serious. There's this hollow sick feeling of guilt you get, because you feel like you should have known somehow and been around more, only how could you when no one told you?

And remind him that tears at a funeral are not an indication of how deeply you feel - some people can tear up easy and others can't let go enough to put themselves on display, especially deep emotions.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

...who just recently experienced the bombshell method of finding out about something family and serious. There's this hollow sick feeling of guilt you get, because you feel like you should have known somehow and been around more, only how could you when no one told you?

Yeah. I've been careful not to emphasize the "bombshell method," especially given his relationship with his family, because he's wisely ignored it to focus on what's important.

Actually, I think he just didn't notice it because it's so par for the course.

others can't let go enough to put themselves on display, especially deep emotions

Very true.

Icarus

[thalia]

{{hugs}} I'm sorry he (and you) has to go through this. Believe me, I sympathize.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[twistedrecesses.livejournal.com]

As cliche as it sounds, my thoughts are with you both.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Not cliche at all, and we appreciate it.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's hard. That's so much to deal with.

My hugs to WG, and he's really lucky to have you.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

When it rains, it pours. Life on the whole is good though. School's going reasonably well for me, or at least everything but my Sanskrit class. His job has given him the time off to deal with the bronchitus, and fortunately our financial circumstances are better than just a year ago. At least he can afford the plane fare to go down and see her.

[winstonmom.livejournal.com]

Everything I have in good karma, hugs, wishes etc. are going your way.
And WG's mom will be in my prayers.
Hugs and good vibes.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you (especially for the good karma. *g* Looks like we could use a little. *borrows a cup of good karma and promises to return it ten-fold later*)

Icarus

[presently.livejournal.com]

Hugs and good healing vibes to all three of you.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and yes, getting over this bronchitus would be a very good thing. At this point I just want her pain to go down and for her to be comfortable. That would be good.

[enname.livejournal.com]

Ah, shit.

There is never any good way to find out that sort of news, although perhaps being told it would have been less of a shock from relaxed through to full alert in seconds. It is disorientating and vertiginous.

I hope, for both his mother's sake and WG that she has a quiet, and as pain free as possible decline. Of course he, and you have my sympathies and best wishes. Both for health and for this.

I've never cried at a funeral in my life. Never felt it was the place to do it, there is nothing unusual in that. More often than not it is surreal and disconnected anyway.

Take care of you both.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I hope, for both his mother's sake and WG that she has a quiet, and as pain free as possible decline. Of course he, and you have my sympathies and best wishes. Both for health and for this.

Same here, and thank you.

I've never cried at a funeral in my life. Never felt it was the place to do it, there is nothing unusual in that. More often than not it is surreal and disconnected anyway.

I read this to him, and he appreciated it. I've found funerals to bizarre myself. One day I'll tell you the story about my stepdad's mother's funeral, where the funeral director refused to put on the amount of make-up she normally wore and so people didn't recognize her. They would peak in, think they had the wrong funeral, and leave. Finally my mother painted her eyebrows on so they'd stop leaving. Was it wrong we were cracking up over her casket? Gallows humor runs big in my family.

Icarus

[fractalreality.livejournal.com]

My thoughts and love are with you both

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[tartanshell.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon, I'm so sorry. Hugs, good thoughts, and comforting kitten-snuggles to both of you.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Kitten-snuggles! The best kind. Thank you, WG smiled when I read this to him.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

My thoughts are with you both. Tell WG that I know what he's going through--my father died of stomach cancer--and that I hope the chance to say goodbye will be a comfort later. It was to me, although it took quite a while.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I hope so, too. And hey, if I ever have an extra ticket again, you're invited to figure skating.

[tonicollins.livejournal.com]

My sincerest condolences to you both; I hope that his aunt is as painfree and comfortable as possible.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I appreciate it. Unfortunately, it's his mom, I don't think I've met any of his aunts or know if he has any. Huh. Now I'm curious.

I just asked. He has one uncle and one aunt. Turns out they've never been close to his parents, so that explains that mystery.

Icarus

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

Oh man, what a load of bad news.
My best wishes for WG's recovery, and sincerest sympathy for the raw deal with his mum.
[sends good vibes your way]

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[ngaio]

Lots of hugs and prayers for him and also for you to be able to help him as he copes and heals.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He seems to be just fine, if a little quiet. But we need to get over this bronchitus quick so we can go down to see her.

Icarus

[alyndra]

Sympathies. For what his mom and everyone around her must be going through, and for the bronchitis -- that sucks too, especially piled on top of the other. *sends virtual chocolates*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Ah, virtual chocolates. *shares with WG and friendslist*

I think his sister, who's been the go-to person on all the doctor's appointments and medical treatments, is probably in a sense relieved. The uncertainty, the rocketing from one medical disaster to another has left her exhausted. Just this Christmas she wished that she could just know if she should put in for time off from work or not. I guess that's answered.

Icarus

[titc.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[electricandroid.livejournal.com]

You give WG all my love okay? And tell him to get well soon! And that at some unspecified point in the future, I expect to see both of you in the uk :)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

You know, when I told him there were a lot of messages, he said, "Did you hear from Electric Android?" *g*

Thank you. You know, I don't think he's ever been to the U.K.

Icarus

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

Oh man, this sucks. I'm sending hugs and well-wishes to WG and you.

Though his family really should have called him. Not cool, WG's family. Even if you're not on the best of terms, stuff like this shouldn't be found out like that.

Take care, the two of you.
Rike

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Though his family really should have called him. Not cool, WG's family. Even if you're not on the best of terms, stuff like this shouldn't be found out like that.

My opinion, too. But he barely even noticed. I think he's a lot more patient with his family than me.

Take care, the two of you.

Thank you. :)

Icarus

[starrylizard.livejournal.com]

Sending hugs and positive vibes to both of you right now.
I'm sure you'll take good care of him Icarus. Look after youself too.

And it doesn't matter what our society teaches you, I only know I can cry over a stubbed toe like that, but hit me with something big and it takes me days, sometimes weeks to process it on an emotional level. Everyone is different that way. *hugs*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I only know I can cry over a stubbed toe like that, but hit me with something big and it takes me days, sometimes weeks to process it on an emotional level. Everyone is different that way. *hugs*

You're absolutely right. In a way I think it's good that we're sick right now. It's giving us some space to deal. Deal and heal?

Icarus

[wychwood]

Oh no! *sends good thoughts to you all*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's not totally shocking since she's had cancer for two years. But still -- shocking.