WG's mom.

[icarus]

wildernessguru's mom and the nationals.

WG's mother has taken a turn for the worse. She's fading fast. The plan was to fly up on February 3rd to see her. Well, the real plan was to fly up in March, then the plan was changed to February 19th and that long weekend, then it adjusted to the 10th then....

Now we're told she won't make it to the 3rd.

I've told wildernessguru that if it's his last chance to see his mother, I'll miss the nationals, sell the ticket on EBay or Craigslist, go with him to Sacremento this weekend. He's offered to go down without me. Right. Go to the nationals while... sure. There's only one right thing to do.

I've gotta say this hurts though. On about a dozen different levels, not the least of which is that skating and Out Of Bounds is how I'm escaping the gloom.

You know, I really thought that the day had hit its nadir this morning.



ETA: Cracked out those Buddhist practices when WG was crying and, whoa. You know, this religion thing's good for something, isn't it? I forgot. *snort* Too busy wearing the religion on my sleeve and not doing it. *eyeroll*

What I want to do, and we're trying to do, is go to see her sooner. Friday. Then I want to give him a ticket to the nationals (it's not sold out) and fly from Sacramento to Spokane. That way he'll have a distraction afterwards and we'll be together.

Comments

[slb44.livejournal.com]

{{{Hugs}}}} and prayers to you all.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

She's got... why... this can't. What do I do? I can pray that she lives longer. Can I set up the flights for Thursday and Friday? But his job, they're all upset at his being sick. I really-- this skating stuff is the only bright spot right now.

Fuck.

[slb44.livejournal.com]

There are no easy answers to this situation. Life likes to do things like this to remind us that we have no control over anything.

Surely WG can get some sort of compasionate leave to visit his mother under the circumstances.

I wish I had some sort of magic wand that could make things all better, but I don't. *shrugs* All you can do is stumble along and try to do what feels right.

*lights a candle*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I lit a candle, too.

My thought now is to go to see her on Friday. Then I buy him a ticket to the nationals and we both go. That way there's a distraction afterwards and we'll be together.

Cross your fingers?

[slb44.livejournal.com]

Fingers crossed.

[yin-again.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, hon. It's so tough to watch your spouse go through this. Been there, done that. Much love to you both.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

He was sobbing an hour ago after he heard. Homework's out the window. I need to be there for him.

I'm working on maybe getting us up there sooner.

Icarus

[batdina.livejournal.com]

yeah, the being able to look at yourself in the mirror factor is pretty high in cases like this. I'm sorry for WG and his mom, and you for circumstances.

remind me later to share my story about the creative writing program at your Uni when you're in a position to laugh about it. (it's been more than 20 years now, and I can finally laugh anyway.)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I'd be up there in the stands thinking: "How is he doing?"

What we are looking at is the possibility of him getting Friday off and our going there earlier. And I'd like to fly from Sacramento to Spokane and have him come to the Nationals, too.

I could use a laugh, honestly. :)

[dementordelta.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry to hear it, sweetie.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

He snuggled close and sobbed. I got out the tissues and did what I could, feeling helpless. There are Amitaba chants in Buddhism and so I sang them, lost in the prayer. He quieted, soothed, and said it was beautiful.

And I want to see her sooner. Not only because it's smart, given how fast she's going, not only because I'm really ridiculously attached to this show -- but also because she'll be more lucid, earlier.

Now I need to find out how to request prayers from a monastery. I'm not directly connected to one right now, so I don't know.

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about this whole sad and painful situation. {{{hugs you}}}

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. The normally stoic wildernessguru was in tears, snuggled up. (I need to lecture the cat on his duties. He is required under these circumstances to be present, furry, and comforting. Not asleep on his command post.) I sang him the prayer to Amitabha. It's sorrowful and filled with longing. He said it was beautiful. I always thought so.

Much to do this week. I think we should see her sooner, on Friday, then both of us go to the Nationals. Then we'll be together.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Oh ouch. Double ouch. Triple ouch. I'm so sorry. ((((hugs)))) to you and WG.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I visualize a skater going with your comment.

He's normally very stoic but he's been crying tonight, curled up with me. I go the tissues out and generally felt useless until I pulled out the Buddhist prayer to Amitabha. He calmed and said it was beautiful.

The take-out places are going to love us this week. The kitty however needs remedial training in comforting WG. Snoozing on his command post is an unacceptable dereliction of duty.

The current hope is to go on Friday to see her than buy WG a ticket to the Nationals. Then we'll go there together after we get back. As distractions go, a stadium of a couple thousand cheering fans should be effective (if it's not too surreal).

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Uh. Please to be ignoring numerous typos.

[starrylizard.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
Sometimes it's like life just gangs up on you. You'll both be in my thoughts.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I know this is going to sound silly but that vid has cheered me up all day. I can be upset and unhappy, play or think of that vid, and I perk up like the sun came out. Fabulous job, and even more fabulous timing.

I sang the prayer to be reborn in Amitabha's pure realm. The tears and misery quieted and later he said it was beautiful. Right. *snaps fingers* Buddhist practice, meditation, that sort of thing. I forgot.

Icarus

[cyanne]

I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. Lots of love and hugs and good thoughts, sorry that's all I can give you.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. You know, you've given us a lot already, and maybe we'll play some of those DVDs for distraction this week. *writes you more virtual porn*

[filenotch.livejournal.com]

I am sorry. I know exactly what this is like. It's so hard.

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

I know you know. I think you'd be surprised at how helpful your comments have been for me.

I have a question for you: we're talking about flying down on Friday instead of Saturday. Then going to the nationals together. Last night he liked the idea. Today it's clear he's really just going for me. He'd like the distraction but says he wants the option of not being locked into a four-hour event. Now the additional travel time's looking to be too much.

I'm worried about him being in rough shape, alone, after seeing his mom. Your opinion?

[alyndra]

I'm so sorry. That really sucks. *hugs*

[moonglow-girl.livejournal.com]

So Sad to hear that. Truly sorry...*hugs* ♥

[whimseywisp.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I think that's a good plan. My thoughts are with you and WG <3.

[lherelenfeline.livejournal.com]

Man oh man...
I'm so sorry.

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

Hugs for both of you.

[enname.livejournal.com]

Ah, crap.

I know I said I hoped that her decline would be not drawn out, but I would never wish that WG would not get a chance to see her before she dies. Go, it is best to go as early as you can, even without the nationals. Better to get there well before the 3rd because things do, and are, changing so fast.

I do like the idea of taking him with you afterwards. For both of your sakes and sanity. I echo whoever was talking about compassionate leave for WG. No one can predict this sort of thing and he'd be so out of it work anyway. Likewise any study you try to do at the moment anyway will be shot, that sort of thing just ruins concentration. You have informed your school, right?

Look. You can only do what you can - just be there, be available and whatever feels like it might help, or just even help you. Even if it doesn't, the thought counts and having you sane will help WG.

*crosses fingers*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

His eyes went soft and he looked happy when I mentioned it, so I think it's a good idea. The actuality might be surreal. I'm worried about the drive from Spokane to Seattle on Sunday, though. It's six hours.

I'm dropping everything whenever I get a sense that he's struggling or coming apart. My organization skills at the moment are for shit, and I'm as distracted as a superball. He's in even worse shape.

The kitty? Needs to brush up on his comforting skills. Snoozing on the command post when WG's in tears is dereliction of duty.

Icarus

[enname.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure everything and anything from getting to the hospice and back is going to be surreal and detached from reality anyway. Might as well add in skating, at least it isn't something that calls for heavy concentration.

Yeah. Slow driving and with stops - don't push it out and try to break records. Driving whilst that distracted is hard and dangerous.

*squeeze to both of you* Don't think anyone expects either of you to be the pinnacle of attention and coherency. Just surviving through it will suffice, and yeah. I say you are doing just fine. WG is lucky.

Oh man. That kitty should be hanging his head in shame for being asleep then. It is all very well standing around looking confused when someone is upset, but snoozing? *shakes head* Needs a talking to.

[sarka.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for all this. I hope you can work out a solution, and that in the end it will be the best thing for both of you.

*hugs*

[tigerlilly2063.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry, hon.

I know these times aren't easy. I hope you can go this Friday to see her. If things are going down that fast with WG's mother it's the best. Who knows how long she has for real.

It may sound a bit insensitive but I hope that his mother doesn't have to suffer for too long. I know from my FIL that this can get pretty tough. Believe me, it's better this way. Sure, you always want your beloved to stay as long as possible with you, but for them it may be hell, especially in this situation.
I just wish you to get a last chance to see her.

Personally I think it's a good idea to take him to the nationals. Distraction is a good thing. He may not completely be there mentally, but he won't think too much either.

*hugs for both of you*

[ella-bane.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I'm sorry. :(

Just be there for him, that's the best you can do. It's what I needed from my parnter when my mother passed. Having him by my side was the greatest comfort.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Hooray for the Buddhist practices.

I think the flying out and then going to the Nationals sounds like a GREAT plan. I hope it works out.

I'm thinking of you both.