icarus: Snape by mysterious artist (Default)
[personal profile] icarus
Hoping [livejournal.com profile] monanotlisa is feeling better and thanking [livejournal.com profile] cesperanza for the [livejournal.com profile] sga_flashfic Virgin!Challenge.


Part one: 'Get back out there.' – 'No. I'm taking up hockey. It'll *hurt* less.'
Part two: 'So why do we have to skate in the nude again?'
Part three: Naturally, John had brought the boom box but had forgotten to bring any music.
Part four: Rodney wondered if John knew 'Mustang Sally' was a favorite with strippers the world over.
Part five: 'This is hero worship, isn't it?'
Part six: 'Me coach. You student. You keep forgetting that lately.'
Part seven: It was just hockey, not a cardinal sin.
Part eight: I'm sure when we were being chased by sabre-toothed tigers we did all kinds of neat tricks.
Part nine: 'You want to be alone?' Kim-the-unutterably-stupid asked.
Part ten: He mentally took back his den and no longer had to worry about John's exercise equipment.
Part eleven: 'I take American Express.'
Part twelve: Give John a spotlight and what does he do? Skate in the dark.
Part thirteen: Something about a dead hamster-?
Part fourteen: Being a UPS driver had been great, nice people, but it worked all the wrong muscle groups.



Out Of Bounds
by Icarus



The music started, 1940s and kicky. John bobbed his head in time with the beat, watching.

Rodney rocked his shoulders and glanced over at the little girl beside him, up on her toe picks. He gave a sharp nod and they put their hands on their hips on the trumpet lead-in, then hands shoulder-high, then waved them in the air with the reveille, wiggling their hips as they edged backwards into a broad circle as the boogie-woogie piano kicked in, doing a couple of easy half-turns as they picked up speed.

Beside John, the woman in the expensive-looking coat and classy jewelry snickered. "She has a competition next week," she explained to John proudly.

"Speed, keep up your speed!" Rodney clapped twice, circling out of the routine to watch.

The little girl's dainty skirt ruffled in the breeze as her skates worked, forcing more energy into her routine. John remembered when he used to have to work at that, losing steam between elements. She popped up on "and now the company jumps!" and John smirked. "It's cute."

John sat down and pulled off his skate.

"If you'd like to skate longer…" the woman offered John with a gesture to the rink.

He demurred, sighing as his foot came free. "Nah, I've been at it for hours."

"Did I hear a benefactor? Offering skate time?" Rodney's sharp voice cut across the rink -- and how he heard, John had no idea. "He'd love to!"

"Slave driver." John snorted, weighing his skate in his hand with a smile. "If he could make me skate in my sleep he would."

"Who? Rodney?" The woman pursed her lips, blinking in surprise.

"Well yeah," John spluttered.

"Huh." The woman gave a doubtful tilt of her head, watching the two skaters critically. The girl did a salute as she jumped into a spin, snapping it out in a sharp out-of-control gesture. "A lot of the parents feel I should go with somebody tougher. But she really loves Rodney, and my husband and I feel the experience should be just as important as the competitions."

John didn't say anything.

"If you don't get more speed, I'll make you skate the Bette Midler version," Rodney called out. "This isn't a dirge!"

The Andrews Sisters sang "the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B!"

"So," Mrs. Weir turned towards John with polite curiosity. "What do you do, John Sheppard?"

"Skate." John grinned up at her impishly.

Her smile spread, amused. "I mean, besides skating of course."

They always asked. John pursed his lips and considered, making a show of giving it some thought. "No. Skating's pretty much it."

At her expectant silence he finally gave in and shrugged. "I was in college for a while."

She brightened. "Oh, really? What were you studying?"

"Engineering."

John left out the part about skipping all the classes and just taking the exams. It had worked -- and funded his training -- until the school figured it out. She nodded, lips together with the usual impressed expression.

"But now I just skate."

"Yes, we saw as we came in. You're pretty good. Are you in the Skate Canada or-?"

Now that was really polite of her. Only the top-ranked "Olympic-level" skaters were invited -- everyone else had to qualify at the lower echelon competitions. The top skaters mostly trained at the Schmidt Center anyway. Rodney was the only international class coach who chose this tiny rink, John didn't know why.

"Well, I've already qualified. The Chicago Regionals are next."

"That's coming up."

John grimaced and stared across the ice, thinking of his jumps. He licked his lips. "Yeah."

Mrs. Weir folded her arms on the guardrail and watched her daughter with a proprietary smug air. "I hope Melanie will be as good as you are someday."

"It'll take a while," he smiled, with just an edge of competitiveness. She grinned at him.

"Freeskate!" Rodney announced. "We have some mystery music. I want you to skate whatever comes to you, all right?"

Mrs. Weir shook her head subtly, taking a breath and sounding frustrated. "Tsk. Now see, she can do that in her own time." She frowned, eyes narrowing as she folded her arms across her chest. "We're not paying him to baby-sit for a play period."

"He's a good coach," John said defensively.

"Sheppard!" Rodney jerked his thumb towards the ice. "You can flirt with the ladies later!"

Slave. Driver. John mouthed to Mrs. Weir as he skated back onto the ice feeling achy and more than a little tired, and she laughed.

Rodney pointed to Mrs. Weir's daughter. "You think you can keep up with her?"

"Oh, I dunno…" John said, grinning at the beaming girl as he slowed his approach with a swing of one skate. A strand of long dark hair was plastered to her face but she glowed up at John.

"Good. Because I want you to copy everything that she does. Melanie, you're little Miss Choreographer today so make it hard."

~*~*~

In the dull gray light that filtered through the tiny stack of windows in John's bathroom, John stripped off his shirt and tossed it to the floor, running his hands tiredly over his face. He kicked off his underwear and winced, feeling every muscle in his body. He stooped to pick them up, then decided that, bending down too far-? Not a good thing.

He didn't bother to turn on the lights.

Sitting on the cold toilet seat he cringed and examined today's "collection." The big bruise on his knee was turning greenish-yellow, but it was overlaid with a smaller dark purple stab from the back of his blade. He tipped open his right thigh to follow the long scrape and dark indentation from a simple spin he'd done when he was too tired. Skate slid out and he went down while he was still in tuck.

It was the stupid ones that bugged him.

He twisted and examined the outside of his left thigh. The left leg always took less damage. There was nothing wrong with that knee.

The left elbow was another story. John turned it towards the light, feeling the almost-good-but-kinda-not soreness. No bruise, but there should be. He squinted at it and worried a second before he reached for the Arnica lotion his former coach had sworn by, slowly working it into the new tender areas that didn't show any damage, yet. John was never sure how or it homeopathy worked but anything to avoid a trip to the doctor's.

He stood, slowly, his muscles stiff from sitting in the cold that long. With a limp he reached into the old clawfoot tub. Cold then hot water spurted over his hand. He fiddled with the knobs but the old building never really got consistent temperatures.

As the water steamed, he groaned inwardly, remembering one other thing on the to-do list today.

He left the water running and crossed the apartment to his closet -- and if anyone saw him naked it was their problem -- digging out an old suit with dusty shoulders. He brushed it off, then grabbed the laundry detergent and a pillowcase of clothes and tossed them into the bathroom. The suit he hung on the bathroom door. Steam should take care of most of the wrinkles.

Shampoo stung on cut knuckles he'd neglected, and John stood in the shower just letting the hot water run in rivulets down his back, an arm braced against the wall. Then he shut off the showerhead, and scrubbing a rough towel over his chest and arms, he tossed in the plug and let cooler water run. He emptied the pillowcase of clothes in the tub, letting it fill with splash of detergent. Saved hours at the laundromat. The suit was still wrinkled, but John didn't care all that much.

It was eleven o'clock, but he'd already been up for eight hours. An hour till lunch.

He sank into bed to take a nap.

~*~*~

The phone woke him forty-five minutes later. With a grimace, John, still flat on his back, reached for the receiver on the floor.

"'Lo…?" He listened quietly. "Job's filled?"

There was another long silence as John sat up, the blankets pooling in his lap. He sniffed, blinking, as he struggled to wake up. He rubbed his face, running his hands through rumpled hair, making it stand on end. "That's okay, yeah… thanks for letting me know."

He dropped the phone and cheerfully swung out of bed, pulling on a pair of boxers. The first thing he did was stuff the suit back into the closet.

The second phone call was completely expected and John picked it up halfway through the first ring.

"Hello..? Hey, mom. Yep, she just called. Better luck next time." John wiped at his mouth, adjusting the phone on his shoulder, seeming to shrink in on himself as he stared up at the ceiling. "Well, I'll keep looking. Thanks for setting -- yeah, they're nice people."

He listened attentively, chewing his lower lip, nodding like a chastised child. "I liked the UPS gig. Okay, six years ago but … uh-huh." He chuckled. "The boxes were fine, good PT, the heavier the better … What? The knee?" John raised his eyebrows as he started to restlessly pace. The phone dragged across the floor behind him.

"That was last year. Ancient history," he assured her. "…Nope." He sucked in a breath through his teeth, leaning his back against the doorjamb between the kitchen and the bedroom. His head touched the wood with a light thump. "Haven't heard from Dad … No, I don't need any money." John cringed. "I'm fine."

The room fell silent as John pushed away from the wall and hung up the phone. Then he squeaked open the mostly-empty kitchen cabinet and grabbed a can of Campbell's soup, dumping it into a pan.

He picked up his inline skates and set them on the table. They fell a little to the side. Being a UPS driver had been great, nice people, but it worked all the wrong muscle groups.

The phone rang again not an hour later. Slowly John picked it up. "Hi, Dad."

"Dad?" Rodney's voice chirped in indignant confusion. John could almost see the dismissive wave as he ignored John. "I've a cancellation, and I figure since you're not paying me anyway you can use your copious free-time to train."

"Sure." John put the inline skates back on the floor, leaned against a table leg. "But how 'bout we go to the Schmidt Center? It's closer."

There was a pregnant pause. "Um. Okay."



The next part is here!


Couldn't find [livejournal.com profile] ngaio, so the fic is nakedly unbeta'd. The Andrews Sisters "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" is uploading as we speak available! Hmm. This may need more skating.

Date: 2006-05-27 11:46 pm (UTC)
wychwood: chess queen against a runestone (Default)
From: [personal profile] wychwood
*dances*

Yay more fic! :)

Date: 2006-05-27 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
More Rodney coming in the next part. *smirks*

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellahobbit.livejournal.com
I really liked John's conversation with his mum, especially the descriptions you gave of him listening and fretting and trying not to let it show.

Date: 2006-05-28 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
I'm not sure if this part's coming across. John doesn't want to work any regular job but he's 28 and his family's starting to come down on him to get a "real" life. Since he's been *this* close to the top but not winning for so many years his folks, who supported him when he was younger, don't think he can do any better. The injury tore it for his mom (who's been his biggest cheerleader). She thinks the skating career is done and frankly she's worried about more serious injuries.

I cut a little internal dialogue when Elizabeth was grilling John about "what do you do?" He'd wondered at the irony of someone pushing her kid to skate but then suggesting that his skating wasn't a "real" job.

John's on his own now in a way that he hasn't been. People have given up on him. Not dramatically, but the support has drifted away. His financial resources have dried up and he's scraping by on unemployment. If he doesn't start winning soon....


Is it coming across?
Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 12:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellahobbit.livejournal.com
I'd like to give you a well-thought out answer, but have to go out for a few hours. I'll email you my thoughts when I get back this afternoon, if that's okay?

Date: 2006-05-28 01:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Okay. I always appreciate your thoughts.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 06:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellahobbit.livejournal.com
Without the and cheerfully swung out of bed I wouldn't have been able to work out that John isn't fazed by the interview being cancelled. We rarely get to see John as a person who is in poverty (and he is, if his enjoyment of Rodney's pasta is to be remembered) so either his situation hasn't fully hit home yet (the noodles, the can of soup) or he really doesn't care about physical comfort. Nor do we ever see him out and enjoying himself. Considering he seems fairly comfortable in his skin and quite aware of his attractive features, I'm thinking that has to do with his financial situation, rather than a lack of wanting to mix in society.

I get the feeling that John's father is a bit over all of it, and is getting to the 'bah, humbug' stage when people ask him about his son (who's very talented but no, he hasn't managed to win any major tournaments lately and no, he hasn't been to the Olympics). If he has, I apologise. I haven't reread from the beginning in a while. I get the impression that his mother is still very supportive of his career and is trying to not only set up work for him, but set up work that could be tailored to his schedule.

The injury tore it for his mom

And her constantly asking about the injury could be her way of lying to herself. John just has to keep saying he's fine, and she's willing to believe him, because she wants his dreams to come true.

Elizabeth's a tricky character in this. She's happy for her child to be in the sport and happy to have an eccentric like Rodney train her daughter, but I think the moment it looks like Rodney is losing his 'edge' (for want of a better word) she'll find someone who's more conventional in their teaching. She's a lenient soccer mum.

John and Rodney's trip to the Schmidt Center should be interesting. Rodney would probably be embarressed because he'd end up meeting people that are more successful than him in a range of areas, and John would be cocky to the other skaters.

John's on his own now in a way that he hasn't been.

What's beautiful about this image is the similarities that can be drawn between John and Rodney in this situation. Rodney's star has fallen since his time at the top, and he's (grudgingly) accepted it and is making the best he can of his situation. If he can live vicariously through someone who has the potential to reach or exceed Rodney's previous reach, then he will have accomplished his goals in some small way.

John's star has never peaked, so they're crossing over at this stage where neither of them have the ability/talent/body/income to reach their full potential. It's a depressing, very real feeling of coming to a crossroads in their life. If they fail, Rodney will be fine. John, however, will have nothing left.

I'm not sure if my rambling has answered what you asked, or if I'm reading too much (or the wrong things) into it, but I found this section to be particularly poignant.

Date: 2006-05-28 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 2naonh3-cl2.livejournal.com
that was great. and i was humming boogie woogie bugle boy to it. ^o^ thank you for sharing.

Date: 2006-05-28 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
I was going to go straight to the shower scene but then [livejournal.com profile] monanotlisa hurt herself, so I threw in the playful Boogie Woogie. ;)

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-29 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Oh, the injury scene where John gets into the shower. Sorry.

Maybe we'll have another kind of shower scene later.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starrylizard.livejournal.com
Yay! More skating and now the bruises make sense. *big grin*

*sharpens poking pencils* Beware! :P

Date: 2006-05-28 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
*sharpens poking pencils* Beware! :P

Shouldn't take much -- the next part is right there, begging to be written. *borrows some of John's Arnica lotion*

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 12:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aspacer.livejournal.com
Nice. Don't take so long next time. hehe

Date: 2006-05-28 01:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Sorry about that. Cancer in the family and whatnot. 24 days isn't too bad, considering.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aspacer.livejournal.com
yes, I was just joking around. Somehow impatience = "I like that give me more" in my world.

Date: 2006-05-28 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Oh, I know. I was supposed to do a chapter a day and have had to be happy with more intermittent progress. Ah well.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillian78.livejournal.com
You know, this is the longest case of foreplay in the *history* of the universe but I LOVE it. :-D

Date: 2006-05-28 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
I'm telling you... 21,000 words and still not so much as a peck on the cheek. *whew* It is not going to be easy to get these boys together. ;)

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillian78.livejournal.com
It serves me right. I always complain about fics that have the boys jumping into bed with the speed of light, so, in a form a karmic payback I get a story I adore and no ones doing anything of note sexually. At least for now.

Date: 2006-05-28 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
And slowly he turns, step by step....

*smirks at you*

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cetpar.livejournal.com
I'm really enjoying this AU, and I always perk up when I see you have posted a new part. Right now, I'm wondering why Rodney seems pretty reluctant to go to the Schmidt Center. Hmmm....is it just because he is embarrased to be around the other Olympic level skaters (or trainers?--I guess they would more likely have been his peers) or is it something else? I can't wait to find out!

Date: 2006-05-28 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Right now, I'm wondering why Rodney seems pretty reluctant to go to the Schmidt Center.

There's a whole history there. *smiles*

I can't wait to find out!

Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter! I'm kind of hoping to post the next part sometime this week.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 02:44 am (UTC)
ext_975: photo of a woof (Default)
From: [identity profile] springwoof.livejournal.com
cool. I like Mrs. Weir and her daughter. John's conversation with his folks was very true-feeling. and i liked the ominous "pregnant pause" of Rodney's at the end. very nice cliff-hanger-esque there...

Date: 2006-05-29 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
John's conversation with his folks was very true-feeling.

Oh excellent. Yes, they have their expectations.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] delurker.livejournal.com
Ooh, more skating AU! Yay! I love Rodney coaching the little girl.
And now I am in suspense wondering what Rodney has against the Schmidt Center...

Date: 2006-05-29 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Thank you!

now I am in suspense wondering what Rodney has against the Schmidt Center...

You won't have long to wait.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 06:28 am (UTC)
ngaio: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ngaio
Ooops, I turned off Trillian 'cause I was having to restart my computer a bunch and Trillian always fouls it up, and I never got 'round to turning it back on! Sorry.

Date: 2006-05-28 06:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
No sweat, I've been off of Y!M for two weeks anyhow. :) Memorial Day weekend, yay -- time to write!

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 07:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bl00dlu57.livejournal.com
Ahhh, how I love this story...

Date: 2006-05-29 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Thank you! *grins* Now to finish my [livejournal.com profile] sga_flashfic virgin!Rodney story.

Oh yeah. And essays, that too.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 08:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] looking4tarzan.livejournal.com
LMAO Bette Midler version *snort*
excellent stuff again

Date: 2006-05-29 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Thank you. Yeah, the Bette Midler version is much faster.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com
I'm so happy to see another chapter of this up! I have a feeling it's going to be epic by the end, though: ypou're setting up a lot of awesome stuff, and I can't wait to see how it all pans out.

Date: 2006-05-29 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
I'm really worried about that myself. I'm trying outline and contain it. If I just show the final competition (instead of the Regional and the Nationals) as I originally intended it will stay under control.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 01:39 pm (UTC)
ext_1788: Photo of Lirael from the Garth Nix book of the same name, with the text 'dzurlady' (Default)
From: [identity profile] dzurlady.livejournal.com
Yay more skating! And what an intriguing ending. :) John's conversation with his parents and the questions about his employment are thought provoking.

Date: 2006-05-29 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
John has pressure coming down on him from all sides to give this up.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com
New chapter, yay.

The Boogie Woogie is cute. The song and the thought of Rodney skating to it. The last line of that bit, part of me so wants to see John's reaction to little Miss Weir choreographing, and another part insists that it works perfectly fine the way it is.

In the shower scene, I don't know why, but John doing his laundry in the bathtub does things for me. And strangely enough it didn't when that scene was a disjointed snippet.

John was never sure how or it homeopathy worked but anything to avoid a trip to the doctor's.
'it' needs to be 'if', I think.

The jumping cheerfully out of bed after hearing that he wouldn't get the job read a little strangely to me at first. At the second or third pass I thought that he probably doesn't like going to interviews (I can so understand you John) but the first reaction was why cheerfully?

Schmidt Center... cue ominous music of foreshadowing. *g*

Date: 2006-05-29 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
The last line of that bit, part of me so wants to see John's reaction to little Miss Weir choreographing, and another part insists that it works perfectly fine the way it is.

You know, throughout this scene I wanted to see more of Rodney skating to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. :)

The jumping cheerfully out of bed after hearing that he wouldn't get the job read a little strangely to me at first.

Aha. That obviously isn't working. John doesn't want to do the interview at all, but he can't tell his mother no. He was so pleased that they cancelled. Let me see if I can make that more clear.

'it' needs to be 'if', I think.

Thank you. *corrects*

Schmidt Center... cue ominous music of foreshadowing. *g*

*chuckles* No secret that this isn't your average skating rink for Rodney.

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-28 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coldsnap.livejournal.com
I love this fic, although I blame it for my sudden interest in skating, and skaters! This part is great, and I love the idea of Rodney being seen as soft in terms of skating coaches!

Date: 2006-05-29 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Tell me about it. I keep borrowing a computer from school just so I can download skating videos -- and I've watched my Christopher Bowman vids to death.

Hey, can I borrow your icon as a base to do an inept photo manip utilizing low-end technology? *points to icon*

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-29 09:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coldsnap.livejournal.com
I have a similar situation with Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek, not to mention the Japanese skaters.
You are absolutely welcome to use the icon for such a good cause- if you would like it, the original for my icon is here: http://www.news-press.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?
Site=A4&Date=20060404&Category=READER&ArtNo=404001&Ref=PH&Params=Itemnr=9

Date: 2006-05-31 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Icarus

Date: 2006-05-29 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icyanahita.livejournal.com
Hey read all of the series right now... can't wait for more!

Date: 2006-05-29 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
Ah, another happy addict. Thank you! I hope to post the next part soon. *g*

Icarus
(deleted comment)

Date: 2006-06-16 08:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icarusancalion.livejournal.com
The Firebird Suite is one of my all-time favorites.

The backstories could be fleshed out, stuck in the middle of the beginning

Definitely. I was just talking to
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj="dphearson">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

The Firebird Suite is one of my all-time favorites.

<i>The backstories could be fleshed out, stuck in the middle of the beginning </i>

Definitely. I was just talking to <lj="dphearson"> about this last night. Any observations you have will be great. I'm thinking these posts are more raw, unbeta'd stuff. Then I'll polish it up, resort the scenes, build in more of the backstory for the archive version. <lj site="livejournal.com" user="ngaio">'s been drawing out John's backstory in chat, and <lj site="livejournal.com" user="dphearson"> doesn't know the SGA canon so she'll treat them like they're OCs.

<i>but the skating scenes could sing if you wanted them to. It's hard to do, but it is so tempting to want to have those bits written in the rythems of the songs you picked as background (gah, ignore this again. I'm not only a world builder, but in love with fanvids, poetry & pop songs at the moment.) </i>

That's possible. I thought about it in the Stravinsky scene, but I worried that would get too stiff and wordy, too long.

<i>in this case a v. funny twist on 'The Cutting Edge'</i>

I've heard of the movie but I've never seen it. However, I'm writing an utter cliche so if the movie is too, well....

<i>Your Rodney voice is great, but your John voice...OMG! It's superb, it's canon, it's the guy I have a crush on.</i>

I have worked so hard to get John right. He's <i>tough</i> to capture. Thank you.

<i>My only real issue is all the songs but the Firebird Suite & 1Night in Bangkok are inaccessable</i>

I have to refresh the links. They've all died. :)

Icarus

Date: 2006-06-16 07:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] plsteward.livejournal.com
Gah, this is crack & I need more. But the slow build up is so them, so pretty, so utterly addictive. (It rates the LittlePonyIcon)

Here's what I've been thinking as I got sucked into this vortex of pre-McSheppyShip: Okay, it's not as developed as the HP stuff I read on InkStained, but it's crack & not supposed to be as developed, but it has the potential to be. The backstories could be fleshed out, stuck in the middle of the beginning (kinda like the TimeWarpTrio books I used to read as a kid, they seemed to start in the middle then go back to the start to explain how they got there.) I want more on John's background in particular, not just how he became a figure skater, but also his family, his friends, the places he lived, the teachers at school dealing with his almost ADHD approch to everything (but I'm a world-builder & that should be ignored because I make things far more complicated than they schold be.)

The descriptions are sparce, yet detailed b/c of the pov's you're writing from (they also help paint a picture of the state of minds they're in & help the readers to get an idea of just how easy it could be for the canon to have turned out like this) & they make sense, but the skating scenes could sing if you wanted them to. It's hard to do, but it is so tempting to want to have those bits written in the rythems of the songs you picked as background (gah, ignore this again. I'm not only a world builder, but in love with fanvids, poetry & pop songs at the moment.)

But most of all, this caught me at a good time. I came here by way of old admin posts by [livejournal.com profile] cesperanza at [livejournal.com profile] sga_flashfic & wasn't expecting to spend the better part of two hours devouring this. SGA is a v. cracky yet serrious canon to begin with & with such slashy moments that it's impossible not to want to make them all just have sex to get rid of the UST. As with it's predicessor SG1, the chacterizations are the strongest part of the show (especially SG1- the plots just plain suck on that show, but I never got hooked on those) so, it's easy to take those people out of the alien city & stick them in an X-File, the Middle Ages, or in this case a v. funny twist on 'The Cutting Edge'(& if that wasn't intended, oops.) Your Rodney voice is great, but your John voice...OMG! It's superb, it's canon, it's the guy I have a crush on.

My only real issue is all the songs but the Firebird Suite & 1Night in Bangkok are inaccessable, but not a big problem b/c for the most part Firebird is the perfect theme song for any SGA (but I love Stravinsky, so I'm biased.)

Profile

icarus: Snape by mysterious artist (Default)
icarusancalion

May 2024

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415 161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jan. 15th, 2026 11:53 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios