And that *hurt*. The first time I encountered, "You're a woman, you're sensationalising the gay experience for your own selfish ends, and you can't possibly understand it," that HURT. I really had some self doubt for a while.
But in the end, it came down to this: I wasn't HURTING anyone. Someone else was "choosing" to be hurt - it wasn't my intent. I'm n ot really sure why I like slash but I think part of it is that there is no question of equality in a slash relationship: two men is sort of "automatically" equal. What that says about me and about our culture and society I am well aware of, but it doesn't change how I feel about writing about a relationship where they make the rules and where they are presumed to be equal from the get go. Another part is that "make your own rules" - the man/woman thing, sure, whatever, but how *would* two men negotiate the same issues that a heterosexual couple has to negotiate?
I'm a Unitarian, so that's also part of why I find this debate so... frustrating. Everyone has to find his or her own path. No one can choose another's path and, um, judging someone else's path is both a waste of time and pointless. In some worldviews it might even be regarded as morally wrong or at best ambiguous. *g*
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-06-09 09:27 pm (UTC)But in the end, it came down to this: I wasn't HURTING anyone. Someone else was "choosing" to be hurt - it wasn't my intent. I'm n ot really sure why I like slash but I think part of it is that there is no question of equality in a slash relationship: two men is sort of "automatically" equal. What that says about me and about our culture and society I am well aware of, but it doesn't change how I feel about writing about a relationship where they make the rules and where they are presumed to be equal from the get go. Another part is that "make your own rules" - the man/woman thing, sure, whatever, but how *would* two men negotiate the same issues that a heterosexual couple has to negotiate?
I'm a Unitarian, so that's also part of why I find this debate so... frustrating. Everyone has to find his or her own path. No one can choose another's path and, um, judging someone else's path is both a waste of time and pointless. In some worldviews it might even be regarded as morally wrong or at best ambiguous. *g*