SGA Ficlet - John, Rodney, G

[icarus]

Follow up on And Liberty For All, where John is a Republican....



"Still a Republican, huh?" McKay edged around John, using the distraction to nab the last apple. Then he pulled out the coffee pot to stick his cup directly under the stream. The scent of burnt coffee filled the room.

"We're not going there, Rodney." John glowered at him. It was too early in the morning for this.

Rodney switched the coffee pot back in and took what should be a scalding sip. Anyone who bought McKay's 'fragile flower' act needed to watch him pour boiling liquid down his throat. "Shooting wolves from helicopters? Ring a bell?"

John visibly winced. It had been much easier to vote for McCain before he picked Palin as his running mate. McCain was a nice guy. "I told you. I vote my pocketbook. End of story."

He decided coffee wasn't worth it and took his tray to his office. No one would think to look for him there.

There was no escaping this election.

To: All Atlantis personnel
From: rwoolsey
Subject: The upcoming US election

As many of you are aware, the United States is currently engaged in an election year. Remember that this is strictly a personal matter for each individual American citizen to decide for themselves.

Due to the unique nature of the Atlantis mission, and a few incidents which have been brought to my attention in recent weeks, I feel it necessary to establish some guidelines.

Please recall that the Stargate program is an international and non-partisan organization. While members of the expedition are encouraged to endorse whichever candidate or party they choose, given the fact that we more or less live at our workplace, (and most of us work far beyond the standard forty hour workweek), extra care must be taken to respect our teammates and associates.

1 – Be considerate. Recall that the majority of the members of this expedition are not US citizens and therefore may not be particularly interested or involved in American elections.

"See that, Rodney? You're Canadian and so therefore not involved."

"Hmm, let me see. Paid by the US military. Live on US military base...."

2a – Maintain a neutral workspace. No stickers or political banners outside of private quarters....

"What? It's on my personal door!"

"It's on the outside of the door. Take it down please, Dr. McKay."

2b – ...this includes screensavers.

"Oh, come on! You have no problem with Zelenka's half-naked pin-up but a simple picture of Obama is inappropriate?!"

3 – SGC spam rules apply to mass emails of a political nature, although personal correspondence remains exempt.

"It was a personal note. I signed it."

"Rodney. Name one soldier—you don't even have to give me a last name—from the All Military Personnel mailing list."

"Um. You?"

4 – No robocalls on the headsets, please!

"Everyone knows about the voting dialout, Rodney."

"We had teams offworld! Someone could have been missed!"

5 – The command staff should set an example. Although entertaining for the participants and held in personal quarters, "Nobama HipHop Night" was certainly inappropriate.

"Ha!"

6 – Please, I needn't remind any of you not to tamper with our ballots.

"For the last time, it was not tampering! It just reads the ballot and tallies how we voted."

"Yeah, it's the 'read the ballot' part that's thrown me for a loop."

"Take it down, Dr. McKay."

"We have no reliable polling here!"

Lastly, an informed voting public is essential to the smooth running of democracy.

The United States currently provides more than fifty percent of the IOA budget, as well as one hundred percent of the budget for the SGC. While the SGC line item is part of the US defense spending bill, the IOA budget has been generally included as earmarks in various other appropriations bills. Candidates' voting records on these specific earmarks have been posted to the appropriate political forum on our server.

Thank you for your cooperation.

As if on cue, Rodney poked his head into John's office. "Ah. Thought I'd find you here. Catch Woolsey's email?"

John made noncommittal noise, contemplating homicide.

Of course Rodney had no sense of self-preservation. His smile turned as smug and predatory as a crocodile. "Voting our pocketbooks, are we?"

John slumped behind the laptop. "Shut up, Rodney."

Comments

[joannindiw.livejournal.com]

*giggle* "We have no no reliable polling here!" As an obsessive refresher of fivethirtyeight.com I completely sympathize. (and, go, Woolsey!)

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

Heh. Same here. I'm hooked on polls. I may need a methadone program after Tuesday.

[joannindiw.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I got hooked to political blogs also. I think I'm a hopeless case, now. ^^V Get home from work, put together food (or take it out of the bag), boot up the computer, and refresh.

And refresh.

And refresh... ^^V

[mad_maudlin]

::cackles madly::

I was actually contemplating elections today, and I decided the following is my personal canon:

1. If you ask Rodney about politics, he will generally say he votes for whoever gives him the most funding and then shoo you away.

2. If you really pressure him, he'll identify himself as something vaguely left-of-center, then insult you.

3. If you tie him up and interrogate him on the issues, his opinions actually prove to be studded with random, incoherent Libertarianisms that he absorbed from various sci-fi novels as a teen and never took the time to question, even when they actively contradict other, more important principles by which he lives.

4. Despite all this, he generally votes Liberal.

Now I'm contemplating a ficlet in which the voting gets so contentious that Woolsey asks Ronon, Teyla and Kanaan to be poll monitors, under the assumption they're the only ones who are guaranteed totally neutral...

[tty63.livejournal.com]

I love Woolsey's e-mail and how gleeful Rodney is. Also, when I first read "And Liberty For All" I didn't know nearly as much about US politics as I do now. (I plead the 'I'm a Canadian' card.) So the first time I read it it was funny, but when I reread it before reading this story? Absolutely hilarious.

I love Rodney wanting reliable polling. I'm another addict to fivethirtyeight.com and it's going to be strange to not hit refresh compulsively every time I get home from anywhere. Although if the cold turkey stage comes with an Obama win I'll take it happily.

[tzzzz.livejournal.com]

This is awesome. I almost feel bad for John, the poor hunted republican, but then there's Sarah Palin.