Victoria's Secret: in an engineering feat, they managed to make me look bulbous. I'm 98 lbs.

[icarus]

Dear Victoria's Secret,

I weigh 98 lbs. Measurements 33-24-34. I'm not fat by any means. My jeans are all loose around the waist. Yet somehow, these undies -- a style which I've bought from you for the last 15 years and you just saw fit to redesign without warning -- manage to cut low on my hips, high on my ass, and achieve exactly that effect. In a startling feat of engineering, you managed to make a 98-lb woman look bulbous. My boyfriend restrained his comments to: "Uh. Those don't do anything for your ass." They don't anything for my anything!

Look, Miss Victoria. When I was 16, riding my bike every day, working out an hour a day, swimming, all that stuff, I still had a little curve. Women are female-shaped.

I can't wait till low-rise everything is dead and gone.

With resentment,
Icarus


In other news, today's mediocre-to-crappy music in the park? Alllll day, can't change the channel? Slow whining electric guitars. Someone on heroine decided to cross repetitive new age crap with dissonant jazz. The sound tech has one mic turned up too loud on the shrill lead guitarist, so one guitar is dominating, and the band isn't quite keeping time with the drummer. The bass guitarist is so out of step with the lead guitar, for a moment I thought maybe two different bands were playing at once.

My mood is turning foul.

Comments

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

*raises hand* It's their Signature collection that I'm talking about. Are their high-cut panties in XS? Noooo. But their XS bikini bottoms used to fit me and now, not so much.