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Sep. 19th, 2011 01:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusSo it took me a minute to get it.
Okay, it took me several days.
His Holiness Karma Kuchen was smiling and happy on the throne at the temple. And I was pretty relaxed and happy ... until I looked at him. Then I would force myself to think of all the ways in which I didn't measure up, where I had slipped up in my practice, where I was a screw up. I don't know why. I do that. And so he started doing this glance around the room, looking happy, then look at me, look stressed, then look away and seem happy, glance at me -- stressed look again. And I thought (judging as usual), "Oh no, everyone's doing well but I'm screwing up."
Several days later ... oh. That's what I was doing. He was mirroring it back to me.
Okay, it took me several days.
His Holiness Karma Kuchen was smiling and happy on the throne at the temple. And I was pretty relaxed and happy ... until I looked at him. Then I would force myself to think of all the ways in which I didn't measure up, where I had slipped up in my practice, where I was a screw up. I don't know why. I do that. And so he started doing this glance around the room, looking happy, then look at me, look stressed, then look away and seem happy, glance at me -- stressed look again. And I thought (judging as usual), "Oh no, everyone's doing well but I'm screwing up."
Several days later ... oh. That's what I was doing. He was mirroring it back to me.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 01:55 am (UTC)