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Story-Bot!
Mar. 30th, 2007 08:24 pmWorried about wank?
Fearful your story might be pilloried and garner negative reviews?
Fear no more! The Story-Bot is here to cleanse your fic of offensive content. Here's how it works:
Simply write your story as you would normally. Then plug in the Story-Bot (any resemblance to a paper shredder is purely coincidental), insert your story -- and let her rip!
We at Story-Bot then go to work on your fic. We have painstakingly harvested from countless reviews, wanks, and opinion pages everything that offends anyone. And with weekly upgrades (available at a minimal fee) we stay ahead of the trends. We shall:
- Change your offensive BDSM content to respectable food sex (as seen in the blockbuster hit 9 1/2 Weeks)!
- Edit out demeaning job titles! Your stewardesses shall fly planes. Your housewives shall have meaningful careers!
- Swap races to evade any racial stereotypes! Why have black barista when you can have a black barrister? Remember, a black waitress is trapped in a demeaning job, while a white waiter is necessarily moving on to bigger and better things -- no, it's not in your story, but trust us: we know what your readers assume.
- At no additional charge, our special "valorizing" feature will make sure all of your characters act in a properly heroic fashion. At long last, you will please each and every character's respective fanbase -- without fail!
- Finally, we sweep through your story with our patented Story-Bot Flame-BlasterTM! Yes, we will remove any slashy content and put the gay back in the subtext -- where it belongs.
Get Story-Bot today, and make sure your fic is as inoffensive* asWonder bread [story-bot deletion: brand competitors], white bread [story-bot deletion: nutrition activists], wheat bread [story-bot deletion for current events: see pet owners and poisoned wheat] pita bread!
* With your purchase of Story-Bot and Story-Bot features, you agree to hold harmless Story-Bot Mega Corp, Inc. from any resulting plagiarism claims. The use of Story-Bot does not guarantee your story will be completely inoffensive to all parties. In addition, Story-Bot Mega Corp, Inc. does not claim your writing and story content will in any way improve.
Fearful your story might be pilloried and garner negative reviews?
Fear no more! The Story-Bot is here to cleanse your fic of offensive content. Here's how it works:
Simply write your story as you would normally. Then plug in the Story-Bot (any resemblance to a paper shredder is purely coincidental), insert your story -- and let her rip!
We at Story-Bot then go to work on your fic. We have painstakingly harvested from countless reviews, wanks, and opinion pages everything that offends anyone. And with weekly upgrades (available at a minimal fee) we stay ahead of the trends. We shall:
- Change your offensive BDSM content to respectable food sex (as seen in the blockbuster hit 9 1/2 Weeks)!
- Edit out demeaning job titles! Your stewardesses shall fly planes. Your housewives shall have meaningful careers!
- Swap races to evade any racial stereotypes! Why have black barista when you can have a black barrister? Remember, a black waitress is trapped in a demeaning job, while a white waiter is necessarily moving on to bigger and better things -- no, it's not in your story, but trust us: we know what your readers assume.
- At no additional charge, our special "valorizing" feature will make sure all of your characters act in a properly heroic fashion. At long last, you will please each and every character's respective fanbase -- without fail!
- Finally, we sweep through your story with our patented Story-Bot Flame-BlasterTM! Yes, we will remove any slashy content and put the gay back in the subtext -- where it belongs.
Get Story-Bot today, and make sure your fic is as inoffensive* as
* With your purchase of Story-Bot and Story-Bot features, you agree to hold harmless Story-Bot Mega Corp, Inc. from any resulting plagiarism claims. The use of Story-Bot does not guarantee your story will be completely inoffensive to all parties. In addition, Story-Bot Mega Corp, Inc. does not claim your writing and story content will in any way improve.
