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Aug. 2nd, 2004 08:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icarusFound in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wikdsushi's journal.
No Pity, No Shame, No Silence.misia's friend was raped, and she's suggested people come forward to show her how they survived.
I am not a survivor of rape. I'm a survivor of child molestation, which is somewhat different.(And one reason the chanfic Little Boy Blue was easy to write from the child's point of view.)
Children are too innocent, or at least some are, to require force. It is often not violent but rather a betrayal of trust. Often they are lured: with candy, or favours, or a dog or cat.
But usually, it's someone they know and trust.
The "pervert in the park" is the smaller proportion of child-molesters. More commonly it is step-parents, or step-brothers, or an "uncle" who's really mom's boyfriend, or neighbours, or a regular babysitter, or a friend of the family. It's common for alcohol or drugs to be involved, and there's a difference between serial child-molesters and those random crimes of opportunity. The ones who make a habit of it are the ones who are caught. The random ones almost never are, because children don't tell.
Both the serial child molesters and the random ones have this in common: they don't see the child as a child. They become close enough to the kid as an individual (or in the case of the Michael Jackson types, are immature enough) that they see the kid as a person, capable of handling themselves as an adult.
Don't look at me strangely. Kids in that 9-12 year-old range are often articulate little people, with a lot of clearly voiced opinions. (Read the Michael Jackson transcripts. He is a classic serial child molester. He treats kids as equals, which is very appealing to a kid, and he does not understand that kids at that age do not have the voice to say no.)
I don't know how to prevent it. Teach children to distrust everyone? Yes, you should definitely teach them about sex earlier than you think. You should definitely teach them that there are certain ways of touching that they can and should say no to, no matter who it is.
The main thing is, kids at that age are hemmed in, surrounded by authority figures. Your parents tell you when to go to bed. Your teachers call on you in school, or give you permission even to go to the bathroom. The habit of obedience to those in authority whom you trust (important point) becomes ingrained.
I think what's most important is to nurture your kids' independence, even if the results are occasionally annoying. Then there's a chance when that trusted person tells them to do something strange, the kid feels they have a right to weigh it - and say no. Child molestation is usually not violent rape, but luring. Since these people want a willing participant, "no" very often will be enough.
wikdsushi's journal. No Pity, No Shame, No Silence.
misia's friend was raped, and she's suggested people come forward to show her how they survived.I am not a survivor of rape. I'm a survivor of child molestation, which is somewhat different.(And one reason the chanfic Little Boy Blue was easy to write from the child's point of view.)
Children are too innocent, or at least some are, to require force. It is often not violent but rather a betrayal of trust. Often they are lured: with candy, or favours, or a dog or cat.
But usually, it's someone they know and trust.
The "pervert in the park" is the smaller proportion of child-molesters. More commonly it is step-parents, or step-brothers, or an "uncle" who's really mom's boyfriend, or neighbours, or a regular babysitter, or a friend of the family. It's common for alcohol or drugs to be involved, and there's a difference between serial child-molesters and those random crimes of opportunity. The ones who make a habit of it are the ones who are caught. The random ones almost never are, because children don't tell.
Both the serial child molesters and the random ones have this in common: they don't see the child as a child. They become close enough to the kid as an individual (or in the case of the Michael Jackson types, are immature enough) that they see the kid as a person, capable of handling themselves as an adult.
Don't look at me strangely. Kids in that 9-12 year-old range are often articulate little people, with a lot of clearly voiced opinions. (Read the Michael Jackson transcripts. He is a classic serial child molester. He treats kids as equals, which is very appealing to a kid, and he does not understand that kids at that age do not have the voice to say no.)
I don't know how to prevent it. Teach children to distrust everyone? Yes, you should definitely teach them about sex earlier than you think. You should definitely teach them that there are certain ways of touching that they can and should say no to, no matter who it is.
The main thing is, kids at that age are hemmed in, surrounded by authority figures. Your parents tell you when to go to bed. Your teachers call on you in school, or give you permission even to go to the bathroom. The habit of obedience to those in authority whom you trust (important point) becomes ingrained.
I think what's most important is to nurture your kids' independence, even if the results are occasionally annoying. Then there's a chance when that trusted person tells them to do something strange, the kid feels they have a right to weigh it - and say no. Child molestation is usually not violent rape, but luring. Since these people want a willing participant, "no" very often will be enough.
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Date: 2004-08-03 01:50 am (UTC)I actually have a written an article on this subject, though not pertaining to chan but, well, rape and non-con in fics. But the same theory applies.
There's a difference between fantasy and reality. Real rape is about violence. In my article I listed the types of injuries sustained in rape, and it's pretty obvious it's about hate.
In fantasy rape, the motivation for the one who relates to the submissive role giving up responsibility: "what could I do? There I was... ravished." A reaction against how difficult it is to pick the right partner. For the aggressive role, it's about not having to negotiate the complexities of a relationship but just have the one you want, face rejection. The motives are completely different.
For Chan there's a similar difference between fantasy and reality. The abuser in a real child molestation is using the child as a convenient and helpless outlet. Fantasy chan is about something different. It's about simplifing relationships.
From the point of view of identifying with the child, it's a reaction to a loss of innocence and attempt to regain that sense of everything being fresh and new. Unjaded. From the perspective of the adult, the fantasy is about power, a reaction (very common for women) against relationships where the power isn't balanced, is a struggle of wills, or where the other person (often men) dominates. In this fantasy, the chan bottom is putty in your character's hands and you're completely in control.
It's late, so I hope this made sense *yawns*. Good night,
Icarus
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Date: 2004-08-03 07:07 am (UTC)*gives you hug anyway and is proud to see your bravery*
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Date: 2004-08-03 07:49 pm (UTC)Icarus
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Date: 2004-08-04 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-04 08:39 am (UTC)Icarus